The Walrus File

Ten Events to Watch in Vancouver

2010-02-11T21:54:00.000-05:00

Women’s Alpine Combined
SUN Feb 14 – NBC – 7pm
Lindsey Vonn was supposed to be the clear star of the Vancouver Olympics. She’s won 31 separate races on Alpine Skiing’s World Cup circuit, as well as the much-coveted Overall title for the past two seasons, and was considered a possible medal contender in all five Women’s alpine events. She’s already a media star, serving as one of the centerpieces of 2010’s Olympic marketing campaigns, blessed with an outgoing personality and much remarked-upon good looks. She not only featured as the cover athlete for the Sports Illustrated Olympic preview issue (which took the opportunity to declare her “America’s Best Woman Skier Ever”), she also appeared in the magazine’s recent swimsuit edition.
Then in the final week before the Olympics Vonn revealed an apparently serious shin injury that she calls the worst of her career (and she has had her fair share of injuries). Now there’s a question whether she’ll compete at all, though all indications Thursday were she was at least going to try to gut it out. Her effectiveness if she does compete is an entirely different matter.
The first Women’s Alpine event of the games is the Women’s Combined, in which competitors race first the Downhill, then the Slalom. It’s intended to find the best overall racer in the sport, a title that normally would seem to fit Vonn to a T. The course in Whistler is apparently scary enough as is… a formal training run was cut short Thursday when the second competitor on the course, American Stacey Cook, took a bad crash in the fog and had to be flown to the hospital in a helicopter.
Vonn’s biggest competitor is generally considered to be Maria Riesch of Germany, who should be a major contender in this race as well as the more “technical” alpine events. (i.e. slalom, etc.) Sweden’s Anja Paerson is another all-arounder who won the last Combined event on the World Cup circuit coming in. Austria is always the class of the Alpine world for both the Men and the Women, so it would not be a surprise if multiple Austrians make the podium.

Women’s Snowboard Cross
TUE Feb 16 – NBC 8pm
Perhaps the defining moment of the 2006 games, for me anyway, was the Final of the Women’s Snowboard Cross competition, the inaugural version of the event. The world number one, Maelle Ricker of Canada, crashed badly partway down, leaving the reigning World Champion, a pretty, curly-haired American girl named Lindsay Jacobellis, well ahead of a Swiss girl in second place. In heedless celebration, Jacobellis did a little trick grab of her snowboard… and fell inexorably sideways, slowing just enough for the Swiss girl to catch her. She proceeded to caper around the finish area with a Swiss flag, thrilled, while Jacobellis stood and sat stunned for what felt like half an hour, staring into space.
As we come to the 2006 competition, Jacobellis is once again the reigning World Champion, and Maelle Ricker is once again holds the number one ranking. They will not, of course, be without competitors. As we saw in 2006, this is an event where anything can happen, and no one would bat eye to see a victory from Helene Olafson of Norway, or Alexandra Jekova of Bulgaria, or a half dozen others. I have this feeling, though, that there will be some event surrounding one Lindsay Jacobellis that will either serve as a redemptive climax or a continuation of the crushing cautionary tale. Or maybe something new and unexpected.

Half-Pipe
Men WED Feb 17 – NBC 3pm & 8:30pm - Women THU Feb 18 – NBC 3:30pm & 8pm
Perhaps the single biggest story of the past decade of the Winter Olympics is the meteoric rise of the sport of Snowboarding. From the moment it burst on the scene in 1998 (and then the first Gold Medalist was temporarily stripped of his Gold after testing positive for Marijuana), it created its own banner headlines, and now there is speculation that for NBC the Snowboarding competition might receive higher ratings than those for Figure Skating. Half-Pipe is the signature snowboarding event, in which a great run from a top competitor seems to transcend our earthly reality, completely effortless, totally cool.
The highest paid athlete at these games will not be an NHL pro, or a superstar figure skater, but Shaun White, he of the flying red curly hair, the defending Gold Medalist in this event. Many believe that if he hits in Vancouver there is no one in the world that can beat him. He plans to throw a “1260”, which is crazy because I remember in 1998 a “720” was a huge deal. The U.S. could easily sweep the medals, as it did in 2006. In addition to White, the team includes Columbus native Louie Vito, who learned to board at Mad River Mountain in Bellefontaine. However, I will be rooting for the team’s third member, Graham Watanabe, who, when recently asked how it felt to be a member of the U.S. Olympic team, replied thusly: "Try to imagine Pegasus mating with a unicorn and the creature that they birth. I somehow tame it and ride it into the sky in the clouds and sunshine and rainbows. That's what it feels like." Exactly.
The women’s competition should be harder fought. The American team is stacked with the sport’s superstars, including defending champ Hannah Teter, 2006 Silver Medalist Gretchen Bleiler, and 2002 Gold Medalist Kelly Clark, who seems to be the hot hand of late and has been tabbed as the favorite. Just as big a star, however, is Torah Bright, an Australian Mormon with oft-noted movie star looks and her own video game. And some think the entire party might be crashed by a young Chinese girl named Liu Jiayu, who, those who have seen her say, can do things no one else can.

Men’s Figure Skating
Free Program THU Feb 18 – 8pm
Ladies’ Figure Skating is usually the single marquee event of a Winter Olympics. This year, however, there doesn’t seem to be the same buzz, at least partially because Kim Yu-Na of South Korea is event’s first prohibitive favorite since at least Kristi Yamaguchi in 1992. She’s won 11 of the last 13 major competitions in which she’s competed, most of those by huge margins. Most feel that the only skater who has a hope of challenging her is Japan’s Mao Asada, who might have been the best in the world four years ago but was at that time too young to compete (the “Tara Lipinski Rule”).
So eyes turn to the Men’s event, where the field is wide open. Defending champ Yevgeny Plushenko has come out of three years of retirement to win the European Championship, and is considered by some to be the favorite. He would be the first man to win back-to-back Golds since Dick Button. The U.S. has a deep team, any one of whom could medal. Evan Lysacek is the defending World Champ, but was beaten by Jeremy Abbott at the last two U.S. Championships. Abbott’s recent performance to make the team in Spokane was considered by some aficionados to be worthy of a possible Gold if he could just repeat it in Vancouver. And then of course there’s Johnny Weir, who may be the gayest star ever in the world’s gayest sport, and has his own reality show.
It’s entirely possible that none of these men will even make the podium. Switzerland’s Stephane Lambiel will try to overcome the superior athleticism of some of the other skaters with his spectacular spins. France’s Brian Joubert is a world-class talent, left out of the medals at the last two Olympics despite winning several European championships in the interim. And the biggest story of all may be a Vancouver native, Patrick Chan, who comes in riding a hot streak after winning several big events this year. Chan, who won a silver medal at the most recent Worlds, is being picked by many to win Gold. If that happens, Hockey may have to take a back seat, if just for a day or two.

Men’s 1500m Long Track Speed Skating
SAT Feb 20 – NBC 8pm
This should be, by rights, a golden age for American Speed Skating. And yet the team struggles for media attention, racking up victories but little glory in its own country. In Torino, both Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis won Gold, Davis the first African-American man to ever do so in the Winter Games, and yet it did not seem enough. An off-hand remark by Hedrick was fanned by the media into a feud between the two, and the Olympics ended with a sour taste.
Davis has lost this race only once in the last two years (to Hedrick), but he is a strange figure. He comes from a single-parent home on the South Side of Chicago. His mother is seen as domineering by some, a hero by others. She has publicly and repeatedly made statements like “Shani would be dealing drugs right now on a street corner if it wasn’t for me.” He has refused to train or take coaching from the national team, or with anyone else. He’s refused almost all interview requests. When asked about Stephen Colbert’s involvement with the National team, he responded simply “Stephen Colbert is a jackass, and you can put that in the paper.” A few months later he ended up on Colbert’s show to make peace, but the scrutiny had reappeared.
The 1500m will feature all three major figures of the U.S. team, in addition to Davis there is Hedrick, a Texan inliner originally, who in Torino was known as cocky and a serial partier. In four years he has married and had a kid, and is now talking to anyone who will listen about how he’s found Jesus. There is also Trevor Marsicano, only twenty, who finished second to Davis in this event at the last World Championships. In addition to that trio there are the ever-present Dutch (Sven Kramer is the heavy favorite in the two distance events) and the Canadians, especially Denny Morrison, who have not been letting anyone else train on the Richmond Oval in hopes of gaining an advantage. Speed Skating is a strange universe, and it should have many subplots.

Men’s 1000m Short Track Speed Skating
SAT Feb 20 – NBC 8pm
The “other” big story of the games, the one not involving hockey, snowboards, or Lindsey Vonn, is that of Apolo Anton Ohno, who feels like he has been around forever now (I was reading about him in Sports Illustrated for Kids when I was 10). He was always a very heart-on-his-sleeve kind of guy from Seattle, with a publicly complex relationship with everyone from his father to his greatest rival, South Korea’s Ahn Hyun-Soo. He’s put his sport on the map and since the last Olympics won a season of Dancing With the Stars, something which NBC never seems to tire of mentioning despite it not even being their show.
He has five medals from the last two Olympics. The all-time career record for an American winter Olympian is Six, by Bonnie Blair. If Ohno can win medals in two of the four events, something that does not seem out of the question but isn’t a given this time around in this unpredictable sport, he will break the record. There seems to be a bit of anti-climax to the whole thing… Michael Phelps is just off winning eight Golds in just one summer games, which makes Ohno’s feats seem less impressive. And even if he breaks Blair’s record, she will still seem more impressive… five of her six were Golds, while Ohno has only two, and the opportunity to win medals in the relay, something Blair lacked.
Still, Short Track is a fun sport, full of crashes, speed, and mayhem, yet easy to follow. Its main drawback is that most of its biggest winners tend to be Koreans or Chinese who, to American eyes in any case, often seem to lack personality. Ohno has changed that, and now he has paved the way for his possible successor, one J.R. Celski, another Seattleite. In this race, if Ohno has medaled in the 1500, he might break the record, or we might see a changing of the guard. Or the Koreans might dominate, as they sometimes do, or a victory for a member of the home team might set the crowd to rocking. You never know.

Ski Cross
Men SUN Feb 21 – NBC – noon and 7pm – Women TUE Feb 23 – NBC – 3pm and 8pm
There will be only one new Olympic event in 2010, and it appears to be a pretty cool one. Ski Cross sounds pretty obvious when you think about it. Four skiers race down a curvy, bumpy course, first to cross the finish line wins. It’s more of straight-up “race” than the traditional one-at-a-time approach of Alpine Skiing, and it’s less objective than the other Freestyle Skiing events with which the Olympics have chosen to lump it in. It’s similar to Snowboard Cross, which was such a hit at the 2006 games.
On the Women’s side, the huge favorite is Ophelie David of France, who grew up on the island of Corsica and has a long, colorful history that includes a 1994 Olympic appearance as an Alpine Skier representing Hungary. She has been ranked number one in the world since 2004 and won the last six world championships. Still, this is the sort of sport where anything can happen, especially considering that several of the other most prominent contenders are Canadian.
The Men’s race seems less certain. Many are picking a local guy, Christopher Del Bosco. However, the current world number one is Michael Schmid of Switzerland. The event will even feature one Errol Kerr, representing Jamaica, who not only will be the nation’s first Olympic skier ever, but apparently has an actual chance of finishing in the top ten or so. The U.S. has produced a couple of major contenders who switched over from Alpine, Daron Rahlves and Casey Puckett. I have vivid memories of how much NBC insisted on talking about Rahlves in 2002, despite the fact that we all knew he wasn’t really going to win the Downhill. However, they both injured themselves spectacularly during the run-up to the games, with Rahlves wiping out during the Winter X Games and ending up essentially bouncing down the course on his side, so their participation seems in doubt. Still, whatever happens, it should be fun to watch.

Team Nordic Combined
TUE Feb 23 – NBC – 8pm
Nordic Combined, a combination of ski jumping and cross-country skiing dreamed up by Norwegians to prove… I’m not sure what, exactly, has been in every Winter Olympics in one form or another, and in all that time no American has ever won a medal. At the most recent World Championships, however, Americans somehow won all three events (Normal Hill, Large Hill, and Team). Nobody thinks they’ll repeat this performance, but they have a deep squad that includes names I’ve heard for years like Bill Demong, Jonny Spillane, and Todd Lodwick, and it would be a major surprise if they didn’t break that medal drought somehow.
The best chance is probably the team event. Like the rest of the sports’ events, this became much more watchable circa 1990 when they realized that they could stagger the start of the skiing portion based on the results of the ski jump, so that the winner actually crossed the finish line first and fans could tell what was happening just by looking at it. In the old days, the cross-country actually happened first.
Anyway, the U.S. won’t be able to walk to a Gold, and probably isn’t even really the favorites. Germany and Austria are at least as deep, while France’s Jason Lamy-Chappuis (who was actually born in the U.S.) has emerged as probably the best individual Nordic Combined athlete in the world this year, though France doesn’t really have the team to back him up. It’s hard for a lot of people to “get” this sport, but once we’re down to the end and Bill Demong is out there on the anchor leg trying to do the one thing these guys have been talking about for decades it should be pretty cool.

Curling
Men’s Final SAT Feb 27 – CNBC 6pm – Women’s Final FRI Feb 26 – CNBC 6pm
There is another sport besides Hockey on its home ground in these games. 90-something percent of the world’s curlers are Canadian, they say. In America, and much of the world, the sport enters our consciousness every four years. We come home from work and school to find an afternoon match on the TV, and find ourselves debating the strategies and groaning when the skip misses with his last rock. Curling is the closest the Olympics get to Chess, and to a certain group of us the sport has become a strange quadrennial tradition. The curling venue should have a different feel this time around. The arena in downtown Vancouver seats 7,000, and yet many locals have complained it is not large enough to satisfy demand.
And yet there is another seat of the sport, where the game was invented and all stones are required by rule to originate, in Scotland. Great Britain won the women’s competition four years ago, and this time around, it is the Men’s team that many think might take the Gold. If the all-Scottish team does not meet the wildly-supported hosts in the Final of the tournament, it will be a surprise to many.
Meanwhile, Canada faces its biggest challenge from an unlikely source on the Women’s side. China had never competed in any Olympics in Curling, then showed up at last year’s World Championships in South Korea with a team of highly-trained former gymnasts from Harbin and won the whole thing. Everyone was and is still very confused. Yet it is hard not to give them a chance in Vancouver.

Men’s Ice Hockey
Final SUN Feb 28 – NBC – 3pm
There are noises out there that the NHL and the Players Association are going to fight over participating in the Olympics 2014 (the league wants to back out, the players don’t), so this could end up as the last Olympic tournament with NHL stars for a while. If so, what a way to go out. Canada can hardly contain itself, it is so excited about this tournament, held on home ice, with a home team led by Sidney Crosby. Some say that many Canadians will consider the entire Olympics a failure if they don’t win Hockey Gold.
But they are far from the only contenders… Russia’s Alexander Ovechkin is Crosby’s main rival for Best Player in the World honors and the two REALLY don’t like each other. Russia defeated Canada in the 2006 Quarterfinals (Sweden eventually won the Gold) and then again in the final of the most recent World Championship. Sweden, the only nation to win two hockey golds in the past two decades, will be back with a team of NHL stars, as will the 1998 champs from the Czech Republic and 2006 silver medalists Finland. The U.S. will also send a team of NHL players, though interestingly few seem to give them much of a shot at a medal. (they’ve been placed in the same preliminary group with Canada) When the NHL first returned to the Olympics in 1998, many referred to these nations as the “Big Six”, but since then the field has caught up, with Slovakia. Belarus finished fourth four years ago, and Slovakia are also considered major contenders for a medal this time around.
The biggest event, however, will be the event itself… compared to the past three Olympics (two of which were held in the usually hockey-free zones of Japan and Italy), the atmosphere for hockey in Vancouver should be absolutely crazy. If you think Canadians are a little weird about hockey now, just wait for their team to open against Norway (the lowest-ranked team in the tournament) on Tuesday night. And if the home team isn’t up to the task, the rest of the Olympics could be pretty depressing.

A Decade in Review: 2009

2009-12-31T16:22:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

Barack Obama is inaugurated in Washington D.C. as the 44^th President of the United States, in front of a record crowd on the National Mall.
Within a week, President Obama announces plans to close Guantanamo Bay prison within a year and bans the use of torture.
U.S. Airways Flight 1549 has a flock of birds fly into its engine upon take-off from Newark International Airport and is forced to land in the Hudson River. All 155 passengers are evacuated successfully as the plane gradually sinks on live television. Pilot Chesley Sullenberger is acclaimed as a hero and becomes something of a celebrity.
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert decleares a unilateral cease fire after three weeks of intense fighting in Gaza. However, Israeli Defense Forces remain in Gaza for a few more weeks. International observers are mostly frustrated, but at least 1,000 are estimated to have been killed.
Gov. Rod Blagojevich is impeached and convicted in the state legislature on corruption charges and is removed from office. His Lieutenant Governor, Pat Quinn, assumes office as Governor.
Slovakia becomes the 16^th nation to adopt the Euro as its currency.
The Sri Lankan army captures the city of Klinochchi, long a stronghold of the rebel Tamil Tigers. By May the government declares victory in the lengthy Sri Lankan Civil War.
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson withdraws from Barack Obama’s nomination for Secretary of Commerce after corruption charges come to light.
The Minnesota Senate race between incumbent Norm Coleman and former comedian and liberal radio host Al Franken ends in a virtual tie and enters a protracted, disputed legal process.
The State Department announces it will not renew the contract of private military contractor Blackwater, much used by the Bush administration, amidst a variety of congressional investigations.
Michael Steele becomes the first African-American chairman of the Republican National Committee.
The U.K. announces a 300 pound bailout of its national banking industry, and Germany announces its own 50 billion euro economic stimulus package.
The Icelandic government collapses as a result of the economic problems in that nation.
598,000 Americans lose their jobs this month, the worst single-month total since 1974.
The number of unique worldwide internet users reaches one billion for the first time.

ARTS

Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” has the best title of the year and becomes a #1 hit.
John Updike and Ricardo Montalban die.

SPORTS

The Florida Gators win their second straight NCAA football National Championship over the Oklahoma Sooners.

February

NEWS

President Obama’s early appointments experience some difficulties. Former Sen. Tom Daschle withdraws as Secretary of Health and Human Services over tax issues and is replaced by Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sibelius. Republican New Hampshire Sen. Judd Gregg is nominated for Secretary of Commerce by soon decides his differences with the President are too irreconcilable and withdraws, going on to become on the administration’s biggest critics.
The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, a massive economic stimulus package, is passed by Congress and signed by the President.
President Obama announces he will withdraw U.S. forces from Iraq by summer 2010. Meanwhile, he authorizes the dispatch of 12,000 additional troops to Afghanistan.
Southeastern Australia experiences a massive heat wave. Nearly 200 die in bushfires in the state of Victoria that destroy several towns. A hundred thousand are without power for an extended period.
651,000 more jobs are lost in the United States this month.
The number of worldwide connections to the cellular network reaches four billion.
The U.K. Conservative Party admits to altering Wikipedia’s article on the painter Titian for political purposes.

ARTS

Slumdog Millionaire wins eight Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director for Danny Boyle. Heath Ledger receives a posthumous Best Supporting Actor award for his role in The Dark Knight. Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, and Penelope Cruz win other awards. There is some controversy after popular and critically-acclaimed films like The Dark Knight and WALL-E are left out of major categories in favor of smaller Oscar-bait films like The Reader and Frost/Nixon.
Joss Whedon’s latest SF series Dollhouse debuts on FOX. It will end within a year despite critical acclaim, though it receives two full seasons.

SPORTS

The Pittsburgh Steelers win their record seventh Super Bowl 27-23 over the surprising and high-flying Arizona Cardinals. Santonio Holmes makes an all-time great catch of a Ben Roethlisberger pass in the corner of the end zone as time expires to win the highly entertaining game.
Reports surface that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids after MLB instituted a testing policy in 2003. Those that tested positive at that time were never supposed to have been revealed. He admits wrongdoing within a few days but says he has not used banned substances since that time.
USA Swimming suspends Michael Phelps for three months after photos surface of him smoking a bong at a party.

March

NEWS

President Obama lifts George W. Bush’s restrictions on funding for stem cell research.
North Korea detains two journalists working for Al Gore’s CurrentTV channel and sentences them to hard labor, causing an international incident.
Hardliner Benjamin Netanyahu wins election as the next Prime Minister of Israel.
Rick Wagoner resigns as CEO of General Motors after the company posts nine billion dollars in losses in the most recent quarter.
AIG announces its lost $61 billion since receiving its last bailout and receives additional federal funds.

ARTS

Zack Snyder’s almost obsessive-compulsive film version of the Graphic Novel Watchmen debuts in theaters.
Dreamworks animated film Monsters vs. Aliens is a box office hit. It is released, as are many major films this year, in 3D, leading much debate as to whether this is a fad or the next big thing in movies.
Battlestar Galactica airs its controversial final episode.

SPORTS

Martin Brodeur becomes the winningest goalie in NHL history while playing for the New Jersey Devils.
Japan wins its second World Baseball Classic, defeating a surprising South Korean team in the final.
Syracuse defeats Connecticut in a record-setting six overtime endurance contest during the Big East Conference basketball tournament. Syracuse goes on to earn a surprise bid to the national tournament.
Connecticut completes their third undefeated season by winning the school’s sixth national title.

April

NEWS

“Swine Flu” breaks out, first in Mexico, where it shuts down the capital, and then spreading quickly around the world. The disease is not as bad as first feared but does seem to be more deadly than usual for normally healthy demographics. Hundreds die worldwide.
Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, long one of the more liberal Republicans in Congress, defects to the Democrats.
The so-called “Tea Party” movement, a larger-than-expected coalition of various extreme right-wing elements opposed to government spending and President Obama in general, bursts into the public eye in a series of large demonstrations around the country on Tax Day. It is debated whether this is a great moment for democracy or makes Republicans just look really extra silly.
President Obama announces plans for worldwide nuclear disarmament.
Chinese and Russian hackers allegedly infiltrate the U.S. electrical grid.
Piracy off the Somalian coast intensifies and makes international headlines with the hijacking of a French naval yacht. The French Navy eventually rescues the hostages and kills the pirates. In a separate incident, a U.S. ship is taken hostage, and President Obama orders the pirates executed in a successful raid.
The U.S. Consumer Price Index experiences its first year-on-year deflation since 1955.
The White House announces it will not pursue charges against CIA operatives who tortured terrorism suspects.
Chrysler Motors declares bankruptcy, after several months of media reports that the Big Three automakers are about to go under.
The United Kingdom officially ends combat operations in Iraq.
Iceland elects a lesbian Prime Minister, the first nation to have an openly gay leader since the Roman Empire.

ARTS

ER airs its final episode.
Lady Gaga has her second straight #1 single, “Poker Face”. It is the biggest hit of the year, vaulting the theatrical and controversial singer to superstar status.
Run-DMC and Metallica are inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
The fourth film in its series, Fast & Furious is a surprise smash in theaters.
Susan Boyle’s performance of “I Dreamed a Dream” on Britain’s Got Talent becomes an international sensation after it shows up on YouTube.

SPORTS

North Carolina beats Michigan State in the final of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.
Famous NFL announcer and video game guru John Madden retires.
The New York Yankees open their new stadium.

May

NEWS

President Obama nominates Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. She is eventually confirmed and is the first Hispanic-American to serve on the Court.
The European Union levels a 1 billion euro fine against Intel for anti-competitive practices.
Maine legalizes same sex marriage.
Blackwater ends its operations in Iraq.
General Motors and Chrysler announce nearly 2,000 dealership closings across the U.S.
Manmohan Singh is elected for his second term as Prime Minister of India.
The Space Shuttle Atlantis makes the final service mission to the Hubble Space Telescope.
A scandal in the British parliament causes several cabinet ministers to resign. It turns out they had been charging unreasonable expenses to the government such as moats for their estates to the government. Americans make fun of British MPs for having moats.
Dr. George Tiller, a well-known provider of late-term abortions, is assassinated in Kansas, becoming a symbol in the ongoing American dispute over abortion.
Gen. Stanley McChrystal replaces Gen. David McKiernan as the U.S. commander in Afghanistan. He becomes a controversial national figure after repeated public face-offs with President Obama over more troops being sent to the region.
Former Vice Presidential candidate and NFL quarterback Jack Kemp dies.

ARTS

Blockbuster season begins with Star Trek. Director J.J. Abrams completely re-energizes the franchise with this franchise reboot, casting Chris Pine as Captain Kirk, Zachary Quinto as Spock, Zoe Saldana as Uhura, Simon Pegg as Scotty, and Karl Urban as McCoy.
Pixar’s Up achieves widespread critical acclaim, though it is probably the least successful computer animated Pixar film at the box office.
Angels & Demons, Terminator Salvation, and Night at the Museum: Escape from the Smithsonian are among a rash of forgettable big budget sequels.
Green Day releases their album 21^st Century Breakdown, which is met with a generally underwhelmed response.
Jay Leno leaves his hosting duties at The Tonight Show after 17 years, instead hosting a show five nights a week for NBC at 5pm in an attempt to save money by the network. He is replaced by Conan O’Brien.
FOX debuts Glee, possibly the first musical series to be successful for a major network.

SPORTS

FC Barcelona upsets Manchester United to win a high-profile Champions League final. Barcelona, led by Argentinean World Player of the Year Lionel Messi, goes on to win six major trophies this year, a record.
Mine That Bird wins the Kentucky Derby as a 50-1 long shot.
Manny Ramirez is suspended 50 games after testing positive for a hormone usually given to pregnant women. Everyone seems to forgive him immediately and some news stories start to run that people are tired of the steroids controversy.

June

NEWS

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is re-elected as President of Iran despite suspicious circumstances and mass opposition rallies. Supporters of opposition leader Mir Hossein Mousavi stage mass protests, resulting a great deal of violence. The attempted revolution is at least partly organized and popularized on Twitter, but is rather brutally put down by the government. A woman named Neda is shot and killed at a rally by government troops and becomes an international symbol after video of the incident appears on the internet.
General Motors declares bankruptcy.
President Obama gives a much-watched speech to the Muslim world in Cairo, praised by some and criticized by others for its admissions of American fallibility.
Everyone goes a little nutso after it becomes clear that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is “missing”. His staff eventually says he went to hike the Appalachian Trail, but this story doesn’t hang together, and it turns out he flew to Argentina to see his mistress after having marital problems. He returns and gives a long, rambling confession. He never actually resigns.
An elderly white supremacist attacks the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C., shooting at least two.
Al Franken is finally officially certified as a Senator from Minnesota, and Norm Coleman concedes. With this victory, the Democrats finally reach the magical “60” number needed to pass legislation through the Senate without opposition… in theory, anyway.
Air France Flight 447 disappears off the coast of Brazil. A few days of searching turns up a few pieces of wreckage and it is assumed that the plane crashed, killing all on board.
New Hampshire legalizes same sex marriage.
Italian Prime Minster Silvio Berlusconi is embroiled in scandal after nude pictures of him and various young women at his villa in Sardinia are published in a Spanish newspaper. It is soon revealed that he routinely slept around and tried to appoint women he’d slept with to the European Parliament.
Palm launches its Palm Pre smartphone, as everyone else catches up to the iPhone all of a sudden.
Chrysler is purchased by Italian automaker Fiat.
The World Health Organization declares that Swine Flu has reached the level of a worldwide pandemic.
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is quarantined on Shanghai on the suspicion he may have Swine Flu. He does not.
Rather hilarious political theater breaks out in New York after two Democrats switch parties to swing the State Senate to the Republicans. Both sides try to hold meetings in the Senate chamber simultaneously, and at another point Democrats lock themselves inside the chamber. Gov. Paterson eventually forces things to proceed.
A Red Line train derails on the Washington D.C. metro, killing nine. There is speculation that the driver, killed in the crash, was texting at the time.
China decides to block Google.
The President of Honduras is exiled by his opposition, leading to a smaller, Latin American political crisis that gets pushed off front pages by news from Iran and Los Angeles.

ARTS

Michael Jackson dies from cardiac arrest at his home in Los Angeles. Worldwide mourning ensues, though a few of us just don’t get it. Tabloids go into overdrive, and many feel that the fact that internet celebrity news organization TMZ broke the story is significant. There is speculation that Jackson’s death was brought on by a cocktail of drugs he was taking from a rather shady doctor.
Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and David Carradine die, too.
The raunchy comedy The Hangover is released in theaters. It surprisingly becomes the highest grossing adult comedy in box office history.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen directed by Michael Bay is among the year’s most critically reviled films but becomes the year’s highest-grossing film in the U.S.
Television broadcasts in the U.S. switch from analog to digital.

SPORTS

LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, with what most fans think is their best team ever, are upset in the Eastern Conference Finals by Orlando Magic. The Magic go on to lose in the Finals to the Kobe Bryant-led Los Angeles Lakers.
The Pittsburgh Penguins and Sidney Crosby reverse their defeat of the previous year with a Game 7 victory over the Detroit Red Wings to win the Stanley Cup.
Sammy Sosa is the latest baseball superstar to revealed to have tested positive during the 2003 round of drug testing. Most people feel like they already had figured this one out.

July

NEWS

The first vaccine for swine flu is created in Germany.
Sarah Palin rather inexplicably resigns as Governor of Alaska, citing how the “liberal media” hounds her. It seems to many like she’s resigned so she can have more time to be a celebrity and/or run for President.
Widespread riots break out in the Chinese city of Urumqi between Muslim Uighurs and Han Chinese.
Current CIA chief Leon Panetta accuses former Vice President Cheney of hiding various CIA programs from Congress, including a group of “secret assassins”.
The Sears Tower in Chicago, once the world’s tallest building, is renamed the Willis Tower.
It’s announced that the recession has ended in Canada, causing many to wonder how they got out of it and nobody else has.
A car bomb goes off at a Spanish Guardia Civil barracks on Mallorca, killing two. Travel is completely disrupted in the area after authorities close ports and airports in order to prevent the attackers from escaping.
Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates is arrested for “breaking into” his own house, seemingly because police assumed he was a criminal because he was black. This causes a media sensation and results in President Obama inviting both Gates and the arresting officer to the White House to “work things out over beers.”
The “Cash for Clunkers” program, involving massive federal rebates to all cosumers buying more fuel efficient cars, results in the first up month in forever for the American auto industry.
Vietnam-era Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara dies.

ARTS

Michael Jackson’s memorial service is held before 17,000 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles and is broadcast around the world.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is released in theaters. It is another huge box office success and is considered by most to be the best film of the series thus far.
The Sci-Fi Channel changes its name to SyFy amidst much geek complaining.
Author Frank McCourt and my childhood hero Walter Cronkite die.

SPORTS

Steve McNair, Tennesee Titans QB in probably my favorite Super Bowl, is found dead in his Nashville apartment, apparently shot in the head by his mistress, who then killed herself.
President Obama throws out the first pitch at the baseball All-Star Game in St. Louis, but gets booed. Republicans assume this is because people don’t like the President, but it’s probably because he insists on wearing a White Sox jersey.

August

NEWS

The last surviving Kennedy brother Sen. Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts, dies of brain cancer. Paul Kirk is eventually appointed to replace him.
Former President Bill Clinton arrives in Pyongyang and secures the release of two American journalists who had been held in North Korea for months, seemingly in exchange for a photo-op with Kim Jong Il.
The War in Iraq continues apace. A series of car bombings in Baghdad kills 100 on a single day.
Yukio Hatoyama is elected as the next Prime Minister of Japan as elections throw out the previous government. His wife gives a speech within a few days describing her experience riding a UFO to Venus.

ARTS

My childhood favorite Reading Rainbow airs its final episode after 26 years.
After years of threatening, Noel Gallagher finally leaves Oasis.
Disney buys Marvel Entertainment for $4 billion.
Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” becomes the longest-running single in the history of the Hot 100, with 71 straight weeks on the chart.
Paula Abdul announces she’s leaving “American Idol”, the first major change since the mega-hit program began.
District 9 is released in theaters. It becomes a hit despite its seemingly difficult subject matter, a science fiction, documentary-style take on alien-human relations in South Africa.
Another surprise box office success is Quentin Tarantino’s latest, Inglourious Basterds, in which he explores revenge fantasies and cinema’s relationship with the Nazis.
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman becomes the first book to win both the Newbery Medal and the Hugo for Best Novel.
Les Paul and John Hughes die.

SPORTS

Brett Favre unretires again and signs with the Minnesota Vikings, arch-rivals of the Green Bay Packers who he spent most of his career with.
Usain Bolt sets yet another 100 Meters record.

September

NEWS

President Barack Obama gives a speech to Congress laying out his plans for health care reform. The speech is infamously interrupted by Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina, who shouts “You lie!” after Obama says his plan won’t cover illegal immigrants.
Pittsburgh completely shuts down for several days out of fear of mass protests when it hosts a G20 summit. There are some protests, but nothing like what Pittsburgh seemed to be fearing.
President Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize, seemingly for not being George W. Bush. Republicans go apoplectic.
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke says he believes the worst U.S. recession since the 1930s is about to end, though “job growth may be a lagging indicator”.
Over 100 die in the Samoan islands after an earthquake and the ensuing tsunami.
Thailand and the U.S. army announce that they may have discovered a vaccine for HIV.
Ireland bans samurai swords in an effort to reduce crime.
Two Bangladeshi newspapers apologize after publishing an article from The Onion, believing it to be real.
Tea Partiers protest President Obama’s message urging school children to study hard and stay in shool, saying it is politically motivated.

ARTS

Director Roman Polanski is arrested in Zurich on 31-year-old charges of sleeping with an underage girl in Los Angeles. This leads to a rather unreasonable amount of protest in the Hollywood community and Polanski ends up staying under house arrest at his Gstaad villa.
Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV awards for Best Video is interrupted by a crazy-sounding Kanye West, declaring that Beyonce should have won for “the greatest video of all time”. A side controversy occurs after President Obama is caught on tape calling Kanye West a “jackass”.
The final episode of 70-year-old soap opera Guiding Light airs, signaling the death of the afternoon soap.
This Is It, a concert documentary featuring Michael Jackson’s last recorded performances, is a major hit in a limited two week run.
A buddy comedy called Zombieland and an artsy adaptation of the children’s book Where the Wild Things Are by Spike Jonze create buzz in theaters for widely disparate reasons.
Muse releases their new single “Uprising”, which becomes an international hit and will be played on every sports broadcast from now until the end of time.
Major TV debuts include Modern Family, Community, The Cleveland Show, and FlashForward.
Patrick Swayze dies.

SPORTS

The Dallas Cowboys lose their first game in the new high-tech Cowboys Stadium on a last-second field goal to the New York Giants after an overblown pregame presentation referencing “great buildings of history”.

October

NEWS

An earthquake strikes Sumatra, killing over a thousand.
Ireland finally approves the Treaty of Lisbon, making the Czech Republic (where the President refuses to sign it) the final hold out before implementing the new governing system.
Congressional debate is dominated by health care reform. Many legislators are dumb enough to hold public forums in their own districts that pretty much universally devolve into screaming by Tea Party activists and a few times into burnings in effigy. Discussion intensifies about what’s happened to the tone of the dialogue here.
President Obama announces that he’ll end the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy banning gays from the U.S. military. However, he has yet to actually do this. Thousands of protesters march for gay rights in Washington D.C. Later this month he does sign an act adding anti-gay crimes to the federal Hate Crimes law.
GM sells its Hummer division to a Chinese company.
Finland becomes the first nation to declare broadband internet access to be a legal right.
A worldwide media circus surrounds an incident in Colorado where a six-year-old boy is alleged to have taken off by himself in a hot air balloon. It later becomes clear that it is a hoax perpetrated by his parents in an attempt to get a reality TV show. They both go to prison.
The Government of Maldives holds the world’s first underwater cabinet meeting in an attempt to raise awareness of global warming.
Yahoo! discontinues its Geocities service, on which I built my first web page.

ARTS

The Late Show host David Letterman causes controversy by admitting on-air to having extramarital affairs with members of his staff. A lot of people don’t seem to care, except, weirdly, for Sarah Palin.

SPORTS

A Monday Night Football game on ESPN between Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings and the Green Bay Packers becomes the most watched program in cable TV history.
Rio de Janeiro is awarded the 2016 Summer Olympics.
The United Football League, an inept-seeming attempt to create a second football league in the U.S., begins play.

November

NEWS

The President of the Czech Republic finally signs the Treaty of Lisbon. It goes into effect soon after. Herman van Rompuy is the first permanent President of the European Council and Catherine Ashton is the EU’s first Foreign Minister.
13 people die and 30 more are wounded after a Muslim doctor, Nidal Malik Hassan, goes on a shooting spree at Ft. Hood in Texas. The gunman is shot by police but survives. It is at first reported to be a possible terrorist attack but is later discovered to be the doctor most likely acting alone.
A ship carrying 100 tons of hydrochloric acid collides with another ship and sinks in the Yangtze River.
Tea Party activists run a third party candidate in a New York special congressional election, but this ends up backfiring on them when Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava is hounded into withdrawing and endorses the Democrat, who goes on to win.
Republicans win previously Democratic governorships in Virginia and New Jersey in off-year elections, which some take to be a rejection of President Obama’s policies.
John Allen Muhammad, mastermind of the “Beltway Sniper” attacks, is executed in Virginia.
President Obama visits China. He tries to hold a town hall-style meeting with students in Shanghai, but the Chinese government won’t broadcast it on television.
The population of Africa reaches one billion.
Healthcare reform debate continues in the U.S. Congress. It becomes clear that it will be hard to satisfy both the liberal and conservative wings of the Democratic Party with the same bill.
It’s revealed that the government owned development corporation in Dubai is billions of dollars in debt. It is later bailed out by a similar corporation in Abu Dhabi.
Terrorist attacks on trains in Russia kill two dozen.
Police in Hong Kong attempt to find the founder of a Facebook group that claims all its members will commit suicide on December 21.

ARTS

The Twilight sequel New Moon opens big in theaters. It breaks The Dark Knight’s opening day record but drops off sharply afterwards and does not really threaten the opening weekend record.
Other box office hits include Roland Emmerich’s over-the-top disaster epic 2012 and the feel-good football story The Blind Side.
The Original of Laura, an incomplete novel by Vladimir Nabokov, is published 32 years after his death despite his wishes that it be burned.
Michelle Obama goes on Sesame Street for its 40^th anniversary and promotes vegetables, prompting lots of Tea Party shouting about how she’s trying to indoctrinate our children as vegetarians.
Oprah Winfrey announces she will end her popular talk show in 2011.

SPORTS

The mighty and controversial New York Yankees win their first championship since 2000 with a four games to two defeat of the Philadelphia Phillies. Alex Rodriguez is declared to be “redeemed” after steroids allegations after his dominance lifts the Yankees to the title. Some of us were unaware this was how you redemmed yourself for performance enhancing drugs.
Tiger Woods is hospitalized after a car accident outside his home. It is later revealed he was fleeing from a domestic dispute and may have had at least a dozen separate extramarital affairs, some with porn stars. Many of Woods’ large corporate endorsements drop him and he eventually decides to take an indefinite leave of absence from golf.
Controversy reigns in the European World Cup qualifiers after France defeats Ireland in a play-off where the winning goal was scored after star Thierry Henry admits to hittng the ball with his arm. Meanwhile, a victory by Algeria over Egypt in a similar playoff results in rioting.

December

NEWS

President Obama announces plans for a “surge” in Afghanistan of 30,000 additional American troops, followed by an eventual U.S. withdrawal.
A week or so later, President Obama accepts the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo with a long, eloquent speech essentially defending “Just War Theory”, which surprises many.
The Copenhagen Conference on global warming is held, with some anticipating breakthroughs on climate change. The Conference is mostly derailed by disagreements between the U.S., China, and a coalition of developing nations.
The Health Care Reform bill is finally passed by the U.S. Senate, though it has severe discrepancies with the House version and is thought by some liberals to be so neutered as to not be worth supporting. Independent Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut is so vilified by Liberals for his stance against the bill that it is rumored he will run as a Republican in the next election.
A Nigerian national attempts to blow himself up on a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, leading to a severe increase in security restrictions on international flights and much domestic political yelling. The wannabe terrorist is later discovered to be trained by al-Qaeda in Yemen, leading Sen. Lieberman, among others, to call for U.S. military intervention in that nation.
Annise Parker is elected as Mayor of Houston, becoming the first openly gay mayor of a major American city.
Defense Secretary Robert Gates admits that the U.S. has not had any information about the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden for many years.
SpaceShipTwo, the world’s first commercial spacecraft, is unveiled in New Mexico.
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is injured after being hit in the face by a model of a church thrown by a protester while visiting Milan.
Mexico legalizes Same Sex Marriage and LGBT adoption.
The death of liberal cleric Ayatollah Montazeri results in clashes between protesters and police that continue to escalate in Iran. Pro-government hackers manage to temporily shut down Twitter at one point in an attempt to forestall revolutionaries.
Pope Benedict XVI is knocked over by a woman who jumped barricades at St. Peter’s Cathedral during the traditional Christmas Eve service.
General Electric sells its NBC Universal holdings to Cable TV giant Comcast.
I recap the decade on this blog.

ARTS

Avatar, a SF epic James Cameron has been working on since Titanic, opens in theaters and has spectacular word of mouth growth due to its spectacular breakthroughs in special effects and 3D technology.
Soap Opera As the World Turns is cancelled after 54 years.
Roy E. Disney and Brittany Murphy die.

A Decade in Review: 2008

2009-12-30T17:34:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

There are presidential primaries every week as states compete to be earlier and more prominent in the race. Among Democrats, Sen. Barack Obama wins in Iowa and South Carolina, Sen. Hillary Clinton wins in Michigan, Florida, and New Hampshire, and they essentially tie in Nevada. On the Republican side, Gov. Mike Huckabee of Arkansas gains an upset victory in Iowa, while Sen. John McCain wins in New Hampshire and Florida while former Gov. Mitt Romney wins in Michigan and Nevada. By the end of the month, the field is essentially down to those five candidates
Election results in Kenya seem to be disputed by everyone involved, and this results in escalating violence between the two sides. The 2000 Florida situation starts to look like a best case scenario.
Growing fears of an American recession cause global stock markets to plummet. French trader Jerome Kerviel makes things worse by losing nearly $5 billion for Societe Generale in a scheme that I do not fully understand. The Fed responds with the largest interest rate cut in history.
We all still have it better than those in Zimbabwe, where inflation this month is something like 150,000%.
To everyone’s surprise, the government of Italy collapses, resulting in a call for elections.
Bobby Jindal is sworn in as Governor of Louisiana. He is the first Indian-American Governor in the nation and the youngest in the country at 36.
Sir Edmund Hillary dies.

ARTS

Actor Heath Ledger dies of a medication overdose.
Due to the writers’ strike, NBC holds an awkward press conference to announce the Golden Globes winners instead of actually putting on the awards ceremony.
Cloverfield, a movie about a huge monster attacking New York City (as supposedly recorded by bystanders on their home movie camera) creates buzz with its release in theaters.
FOX debuts its SF series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

SPORTS

A bizarre series of events on the final day of the season leads to Ohio State getting back into the National Championship, this time against Louisiana State. For the second straight year, they get blown out, resulting in national grumbling.
The NHL holds its first outdoor game New Years Day in a snowstorm in Buffalo, and it is a huge success. The league ends up making it an annual tradition.

February

NEWS

24 states hold their primaries on “Super Tuesday”. Sen. Barack Obama pulls ahead with 13 victories but Sen. Hillary Clinton still wins in nine states. On the Republican side, Sen. John McCain wins nine, Mitt Romney wins seven, and Gov. Mike Huckabee wins five, all southern states. Romney drops out within the week. Obama then wins four more states the next week and Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager resigns. McCain and Obama continue to win in various primaries the rest of the month and take the lead in their respective races.
Fidel Castro resigns as President of Cuba in favor of his younger brother Raul.
President Bush proposes a $158 billion economic stimulus plan, but it can’t get 60 votes in the Senate.
The United States files charges against six alleged 9/11 conspirators, seeking the death penalty for “war crimes and murder”.
The U.S. Senate votes to grant immunity to telephone companies complicit in the NSA’s warrantless wire-tapping.
A gunman opens fire at a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University, leaving six people dead and few dozen injured.
The parliament of Kosovo declares its independence from Serbia. Mass protests follow in the Serbia capital of Belgrade. Demonstrators attack the embassies of several major powers, including an attempt to set the U.S. embassy on fire. Russia refuses to recognize Kosovo’s independence, but most other major powers do so.
The EU Anti-Trust Commission fines Microsoft a record 899 million euros for various violations.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy marries former model Carla Bruni in Paris.

ARTS

The Writers’ strike finally ends and Hollywood gets back into production.
No Country for Old Men wins Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director (the Coen brothers), and Best Supporting Actor (Javier Bardem). Daniel Day-Lewis and Marion Cotillard take home other acting awards.
Paintings by Degas, Monet, Cezanne, and van Gogh are stolen from a museum in Zurich.
Toshiba announces it will no longer produce HD-DVDs, signaling the end of this particular “format war” and the victory of BluRay.
Actor Roy Scheider dies.

SPORTS

The New England Patriots’ perfect season ends after a spectacular Super Bowl that ends with a 17-14 New York Giants victory. The Giants final, successful drive features an immediately famous catch by reserve WR David Tyree, while Plaxico Burress catches the final touchdown. Tyree has not played in the NFL since. It is the second most watched television program of all time and the most watched sporting event.
A Senate committee holds a hearing regarding steroids in baseball at which Roger Clemens appears. This results in a rather hilarious show of craziness on all sides, most memorable to me for Mr. Clemens’ popularizing of the term “misremember”.

March

NEWS

Dmitry Medvedev is elected to succeed Vladimir Putin as President of Russia, though by this point most realize that Putin isn’t going anywhere and will still pretty much be in charge. Sure enough, he stays on as Prime Minister.
Wins in Texas and Ohio put John McCain over the top as the Republican candidate for President. Mike Huckabee withdraws.
Sen. Barack Obama gives a famous speech in Philadelphia addressing racial divisions in America.
New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is linked with a criminal investigation into an online prostitution ring. He admits to partaking in the service and resigns. He is replaced by David Paterson, who is legally blind and also becomes New York’s first African-American governor.
Congress tries to outlaw torture techniques such as waterboarding, but President Bush vetoes the legislation.
Investment bank Bear Sterns threatens to collapse overnight, receiving emergency funding from JPMorgan Chase to stay afloat. JPMorgan Chase then buys the bank for $2. The Federal Reserve makes emergency loans to 20 investment banks.
Widespread unrest in Tibet is put down pretty firmly by China, resulting in over 100 deaths. France threatens to boycott the 2008 Summer Olympics because of this.
The Iraqi military attacks the city of Basra, seen as the last major al-Qaeda stronghold in the country. Intense fighting leaves 40 dead and 200 injured over a weekend. Amidst the fighting, the U.S. suffers its 4,000th casualty in Iraq.

ARTS

Amid industry skepticism, Hulu.com, a joint online video venture of Fox and NBC, goes online. It fairly quickly becomes a major force in the television industry.
The merger of the two major satellite radio companies, Sirius and XM, is approved by the Department of Justice despite anti-trust concerns.
Author Arthur C. Clarke and Director Anthony Minghella die.

SPORTS

Green Bay Packers superstar QB Brett Favre tearfully announces his retirement from the NFL after 17 years.
Anti-Chinese protestors threaten to disrupt the lighting of the Olympic torch at Olympia.

April

NEWS

Congress votes to approve $50 billion in aid to Africa to fight AIDS and other diseases.
Skybus Airlines very suddenly goes out of business and cancels all flights.
Silvio Berlusconi is elected to a third go-round as Prime Minister of Italy. Hilarity ensues.
Hillary Clinton continues to win various Democratic primaries and refuses to withdraw from the race, despite some pointing out is unlikely at this point that she will catch Barack Obama.
The Josef Fritzl case, involving a man imprisoning his daughter in his basement in Amstetten, Austria and fathering several children by her, makes international headlines.
Gas prices continue to skyrocket. Polls find that “consumer confidence” is at an all-time low.

ARTS

Charlton Heston dies.
Grand Theft Auto IV becomes the fastest selling video game in history, moving 609,000 copies in 24 hours.
Madonna breaks the all-time record for most top ten singles with her song “Four Minutes”.
Actor Wesley Snipes is sentenced to three years in prison for tax violations.

SPORTS

The Memphis Tigers blow a late lead and lose in overtime to the Kansas Jayhawks in an exciting NCAA basketball Final.
The Olympic Torch is met with thousands of protestors on a swing through London and Paris. Several attempts are made to put out the torch. A run through San Francisco is changed to a different route the day of, leading to mass confusion.
Danica Patrick wins the Indy Japan 300, the first American top-flight racing win for any woman.

May

NEWS

A massive earthquake hits China’s Sichuan province. At least 62,000 are killed as shoddily constructed buildings collapse, many of them schools. Scenes of the destruction are broadcast around the world. China ends up relaxing its “one child” policy for families who lost a child in the earthquake.
Cyclone Nargis slams into Myanmar, causing widespread devastation and more than 78,000 possible deaths. The situation is exacerbated when the Myanmar government refuses to accept most outside assistance.
A series of increasingly bad tornadoes hits areas across the United States, resulting in dozens of deaths over the course of a week.
Tens of thousands protest in Seoul against their government opening up importation of U.S. beef, believing there is a danger of mad cow disease.
Rebels from Darfur attempt to attack the Sudanese capital of Khartoum, leading to increasing chaos and Sudanese accusations that Chad was truly behind the attack.
The U.S. Department of the Interior declares that the polar bear is a threatened species due to destruction of its habitat by global warming.
The Supreme Court of California rules that a ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, legalizing gay marriage in the state.
The Phoenix lander successfully touches down on Mars.
The Democratic presidential race continues, with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama splitting races. Clinton appears to be too far behind, and makes an emergency appeal for donations.
Sen. Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts endorses Barack Obama for President. Shortly thereafter it is revealed that Sen. Kennedy has a brain tumor.

ARTS

Iron Man starring Robert Downey Jr. in the title role is released in theaters and becomes something of a surprise megahit considering the main character is not among Marvel’s better known. However, it is helped considerably by the movie being, you know, really good.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull earns over $100 million in its opening weekend but is thoroughly disparaged by fans of the series.
The film adaptation of the TV series Sex and the City is a major box office hit, leading to much debate about the neglected tastes of the female audience.
Director Sydney Pollack dies.

SPORTS

Big Brown wins the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, once again raising hopes of a Horse Racing Triple Crown. Fillie Eight Belles breaks down after finishing second in the Kentucky Derby and must be euthanized, raising safety concerns once again.
Manchester United win an all-English Champions League final on penalties over Chelsea.
Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt bursts onto the world scene with a world record of 9.72 at 100m in New York.

June

NEWS

Sen. Hillary Clinton suspends her presidential campaign and endorses Sen. Barack Obama for President, essentially giving him the Democratic Party nomination.
The U.S. Supreme Court rules that terror suspects at Guantanamo Bay can challenge their detention in the American court system. The Bush administration publicly disagrees with and then ignores the ruling.
In a separate case, the Supreme Court rules that the death penalty may not be imposed for crimes other than murder, overturning the sentences of Louisiana inmates convicted of rape.
Hundreds die in the Philippines as the result of Typhoon Fengshen. The majority of the death toll are passengers on the MV Princess of the Stars, a crowded ferry which sunk in the storm, killing at least 800.
The Caribbean Monk Seal is officially declared extinct.

ARTS

Pixar releases what many consider to be its best movie yet, the science fiction robot love story WALL-E. The first half-hour of the movie is almost entirely without dialogue, yet the film becomes a huge success.
Rapper Lil Wayne releases his album Tha Carter III, which becomes a huge success and sells a million copies in a week.
The video game Metal Gear Solid 4 is released worldwide to massive sales.
NBC reporter and Meet the Press host Tim Russert and comedian George Carlin die.

SPORTS

The Boston Celtics defeat the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. The Celtics are led by a triumvirate of stars in Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce, with the first two acquired in the previous off-season.
Tiger Woods famously holds off Rocco Mediate in an 18-hole playoff at the U.S. Open, golfing with an injured knee. He then takes the next several months off to try and recuperate.
The favored Detroit Red Wings defeat a Pittsburgh Penguins team led by superstar Sidney Crosby in six games to win the Stanley Cup.
Big Brown finishes last in the Belmont Stakes, pulled up by his jockey who states that he felt like something was wrong. No physical problem with the horse is found. Da’Tara wins the race.
Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy, under investigation for connections to gamblers, accusing other NBA referees of rigging various games, including the key Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Sacramento Kings.
The European Championship in soccer is held in Austria and Switzerland. Spain prevails 1-0 in the final over Germany.

July

NEWS

President Bush lifts a ban on off-shore drilling in an attempt to mitigate oil prices. It does not work. He also signs the Housing and Economic Recovery Act in an attempt to assist with the sub-prime mortgage crisis.
Zimbabwe’s annual inflation rate reaches 2.2 million percent. The Bank of Zimbabwe issues a 100-billion-dollar bank note.
Congressman Dennis Kucinich of Ohio presents articles of impeachment for President Bush to a House Committee, but they are never voted on.
Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska is indicted on seven counts related to his conduct as a Senator. He strenuously disputes the charges but does not get re-elected.
Bruce Ivins, suspect in the 2001 anthrax mailings, kills himself.

ARTS

The Dark Knight, the second Batman film directed by Christopher Nolan, breaks the opening weekend box office record with $158.4 million. The late Heath Ledger co-stars as the Joker. The film receives universal acclaim, seen as the superhero film achieving the status of art. It eventually becomes only the fourth film to gross over $1 billion worldwide.

SPORTS

Rafael Nadal defeats Roger Federer in a marathon that many say is the greatest Tennis match they’ve ever seen to win the Wimbledon title.
Iraq is banned from participating in the upcoming Olympic Games after the government takes over the Iraqi Olympic Committee. Negotiations allow for the eventual reversal of this decision, but too late for many Iraqi athletes to compete.
A year after returning to baseball after a battle with drug addiction, Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers causes a sensation when he hits 28 homers (a record by far) in a round of the Home Run Derby, held as part of the All-Star festivities at Yankee Stadium.

August

NEWS

The Democratic Party holds its convention in Denver. It nominates Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois for President and Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware for Vice President. Obama gives a much-watched speech at a packed football stadium. Sen. Obama is the first African-American to be nominated for President by a major American party.
Sen. John McCain suddenly elevates Alaska Governor Sarah Palin onto the national stage by choosing her as his running mate. Her conservative positions and folksy demeanor make her an immediate center of attention.
The former Soviet republic of Georgia takes military action against separatists in its province of South Ossetia. Russia intervenes in this matter, becomes the only foreign nation to recognize South Ossetia, and invades Georgia. The city of Tshkinvali, caught in the middle, is pretty much completely leveled and thousands die. After a week or so of international crisis, President Medvedev announces that Georgia has been sufficiently “punished” and Russian forces gradually leave.
In Pakistan, opposition parties in control of parliament move to begin impeachment proceedings against President Pervez Musharraf. He angrily resigns.
Sen. John Edwards, former Vice Presidential candidate, admits to cheating on his wife during her battle with breast cancer.
Tropical Storm Fay hits the Caribbean and south Florida, killing at least a dozen.
Widespread protests demanding the resignation of the Prime Minister paralyze Thailand. Orange-clad demonstrators shut down Bangkok’s major airports for several days.
The Gulf Coast is threatened by Hurricane Gustav, leading to another mass evacuation of New Orleans and much national apprehension.

ARTS

Stephenie Meyer’s Breaking Dawn, the final book in her immensely popular vampire romance Twilight series, is published to the largest sales this side of Harry Potter.
NBC’s hilariously over-the-top soap opera Passions airs its final episode.
Isaac Hayes and Bernie Mac die.

SPORTS

The Summer Olympics are held in Beijing, China. They generate huge interest worldwide, both due to the political situation with China and some high-profile competitions. The Opening Ceremonies are not boycotted as had been discussed, and considered the most spectacular in history. China has 51 gold medals but the U.S. has 110 total medals, leaving the two nations to publicly squabble about who’s really on top of the medals table. American swimmer Michael Phelps wins eight gold medals, some of them in extremely tight, exciting races, breaking records for most golds in one games and most career gold medals. Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt becomes an international celebrity after three very impressive gold medal, world record performances in the sprint events.
Brett Favre makes a strange decision to “unretire”, but the Packers announce they have moved on and eventually trade Favre to the New York Jets.
The Boston Red Sox finally get tired of the antics of their star outfielder Manny Ramirez and trade him to the Los Angeles Dodgers, where he hits a stunning .399 for the remainder of the season.

September

NEWS

The Republican Party holds its convention at St. Paul, Minnesota. It nominates Sen. John McCain of Arizona for President and Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska for Vice President.
Seemingly overnight, the sudden collapse of investment firm Lehman Brothers causes waves throughout world economies. The American International Group (AIG) seeks a $40 billion emergency loan to stay afloat. In the end the Federal Reserve agrees to lend them $85 billion in exchange for, essentially, control over the company. Bank of America agrees to buy Merrill Lynch in an attempt to combat troubles at both firms.
The Dow Jones average falls a thousand points in just a few days at this news. Worldwide markets experience similar falls. Trading has to be halted at several world exchanges, but this does little to stop the crash.
The Bush administration asks Congress for $700 billion in bailout money to buy bad mortgages causing collapses at financial firms.
John McCain “suspends” his campaign to help deal with the crisis. Barack Obama does not. Both head to Washington for talks with President Bush regarding bailout plans.
Washington Mutual is seized by the FDIC, with most of its assets sold to JPMorgan Chase. This is the largest bank failure in American history. Meanwhile, Citigroup agrees to buy Wachovia and take on its massive debts. The Dow Jones drops 777 points in a single day, a record. It goes up 500 points the next day.
Hurricane Gustav quickly weakens to a tropical storm and has a relatively light impact on the Gulf Coast. A few weeks later Hurricane Ike hits the Texas coast and causes a great deal of damage and eight deaths. Ike then continues at surprisingly high strength into the American heartland, causing blackouts for days, several deaths, and widespread destruction in areas not equipped to handle hurricanes. I am without power for about a week.
Japanese Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda abruptly resigns less than a year after taking office. Taro Aso is elected to replace him.
The U.S. economy loses a hundred thousand jobs this month alone.
Asif Ali Zardari is elected as the next President of Pakistan.
The Brahmaputra River floods in India, causing 24 deaths and displacing over two million people.
An American air raid in Herat, Afghanistan, is estimated to leave 90 civilians dead. The U.S. military opens an inquiry into the matter. Intial claims that the destruction was overblown are put to rest by cell phone videos posted on the internet.
The Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Geneva is successfully used for the first time. The world is not eaten by a black hole as some had predicted.
Robert Mugabe and Morgan Tsvangirai sign a power-sharing agreement in Zimbabwe under which Mugabe gets to remain President but Tsvangirai is granted considerable powers.
An election is held in Thailand to address the current crisis and a new Prime Minister, Somchai Wongsawat, is elected.
Rwanda becomes the first nation where women outnumber men in the legislature.
The media discovers that Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant, beginning a public soap opera that continues to this day.

ARTS

Major new TV debuts include the vampire series True Blood, the biggest ratings hit in the history of HBO, CBS’ The Mentalist, Sons of Anarchy on FX, and The CW’s remake of 90210.
Paul Newman and David Foster Wallace die.

SPORTS

The New York Yankees defeat the Baltimore Orioles in their final game at Yankee Stadium.
Tom Brady suffers a catastrophic season ending knee injury in the New England Patriots first game, eventually causing the NFL to rewrite some of its rules in order to better protect quarterbacks.

October

NEWS

Congress passes the $700 billion dollar bank bailout and it is signed by President Bush.
The Dow breaks its single day record again with an 800 point drop in one day. European markets fall an average of about 8% the same day. A week or so later it rises over 900 points in a day.
The U.S. national GDP shrinks over the course of a month for the first time in 17 years.
Sens. Obama and McCain engage in a tense series of debates. Sarah Palin and Joe Biden debate as well, leading to the seemingly disparate schools of opinion that Palin was terrible or amazing.
Former Bush Secretary of State Colin Powell publicly endorses Barack Obama for President.
All three of Iceland’s major banks fail, causing grave financial fallout all over Europe and pretty much destroying that nation’s economy.
The Connecticut Supreme Court rules that gay and lesbian couples have the right to marry in that state.
The U.S. announces it is ending its Space Shuttle program and plans to rely on Russia for space launches between 2010 and 2015.
Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party are re-elected in Canada.
India launches Chandrayaan-1, an unmanned lunar exploration mission.
Two neo-Nazi white supremacists are arrested on charges of plotting to assassinate Barack Obama.
Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann of Minnesota makes national headlines for the first time when she makes national headlines when she calls for investigations into “anti-American” activities by members of Congress during an interview on MSNBC.

ARTS

Britney Spears has her first number one hit in several years with “Womanizer”.
Another #1 hit this month is “I Kissed a Girl”, the debut single from Katy Perry. Amusingly, this becomes the 1000th #1 hit of the rock era, according to Billboard.

SPORTS

The Philadelphia Phillies win the World Series four games to one over the surprising upstarts Tampa Bay Rays, who had previously not been remotely competitive since entering the league in 1998. This sets off wild celebrations in normally hard-luck sports town Philly. Game Five is halted with the score tied due to rain and the final three innings played two days later as the Phillies clinch.

November

NEWS

Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois is elected President, the first African-American to achieve that office. While not a landslide the margin is wider than some anticipated, with the final electoral count 365 to 178. Obama accepts in front of a huge, emotional rally in Chicago’s Grant Park.
It is soon after announced that Barack Obama will nominate Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State and Timothy Geithner to be Secretary of the Treasury. It becomes clear that he intends to keep Robert Gates on as Secretary of Defense.
The Democratic Party picks up five seats in the Senate and also slightly expands its margin in the House of Representatives. Mark Begich becomes the first Democrat to represent Alaska in Congress in 28 years. Democrats also gain the majority in the Ohio House of Representatives.
California controversially passes Proposition 8, which once again bans gay marriage in the state.
Mumbai experiences ten major coordinated terrorist attacks over the course of three days. At least 173 and killed and several hundred are wounded. The attackers turn out to be members of a Pakistani Islamic terrorist organization.
The Bush government announces a second, smaller bailout of AIG. A few weeks later, the Federal Reserve announces a new $800 billion stimulus package designed to help unclog the frozen credit market. Included is a bailout of Citigroup.
Circuit City goes bankrupt.
The European Union undergoes officially enters its first recession ever. Japan is also officially in recession for the first time since 2001.
The American auto industry appears to be on the brink of total collapse and all executives of the Big Three automakers appear before Congress asking for a bailout.
Political tensions in Thailand escalate once again. Thousands of protestors shut down Bangkok airports. The government declares a state of emergency in an attempt to clear out the protestors.
Malaysia bans the practice of yoga, claiming it is not compatible with Islam.

ARTS

Slumdog Millionaire, a vaguely Bollywood tale of triumph over poverty in India directed by Danny Boyle, is the critical hit of the year and also becomes a success at the box office.
Taylor Swift’s Fearless album is released, destined to become a huge hit and make her a megastar.
The film adaptation of the popular young adult vampire romance novel series Twilight hits theaters and is a great success. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson become superstars due to their performances in the title roles.
Daniel Craig’s second James Bond film, the puzzlingly-titled Quantum of Solace, is released. Most conclude it is a major step down after Casino Royale.
Guns N Roses’ Chinese Democracy album finally comes out after seventeen years. Collective reaction is “eh…”
MTV airs the final episode of the video countdown show Total Request Live, its influence having declined since the halcyon days circa 2000.
FX airs the final episode of The Shield.
CNN debuts a rather wacky system of field reporters appearing in the studio via holograms rather than on video screens during its election night coverage. Also inexplicably appearing via hologram is Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas.
Author Michael Crichton dies.

SPORTS

The Columbus Crew win their first Major League Soccer title.

December

NEWS

Gov. Rod Blagojevich of Illinois is arrested by the FBI on corruption charges. He is accused of attempting to sell his appointment of a successor in Barack Obama’s Senate seat to the highest bidder. He refuses to resign and the state legislature begins impeachment proceedings against him. He eventually appoints Roland Burris to the seat. After much drama and theatrics on all sides he is eventually allowed to take his post.
Israel begins air strikes and other attacks against the Gaza Strip in an attempt to strike at Hamas-backed terrorists. Over 300 are killed in the first few days of the attack.
The protests in Thailand are resolved after the Constitutional Court dissolves the government and bans the current leaders from participating for five years.
Financier Bernie Madoff is arrested and admits to running the largest pyramid scheme in American history.
President Bush visits Baghdad. The biggest news of the trip occurs when an Egyptian journalist throws his shoes at the President during a press conference.

ARTS

Perhaps chief among the Oscar-bait films released is David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, in which Brad Pitt plays the backwards-aging title character. It becomes a box office success. Also released are Frost/Nixon, Doubt, and Gran Torino, among others.
Beyonce scores another number one hit with “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)”
Eartha Kitt, Harold Pinter, Mark Felt, and Bettie Page die.

SPORTS

The New York Yankees are the only baseball team willing to spend money due to the financial crisis and end up signing C.C. Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, and A.J. Burnett to rich contracts.
The Detroit Lions become the first NFL team since 1976 to go winless through an entire season.
O.J. Simpson is sentenced to 15 to 33 years in prison for the kidnapping and robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers in Las Vegas.
Sammy Baugh, considered by some the first great “modern” quarterback, dies.

A Decade in Review: 2007

2009-12-28T19:05:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

President Bush announces plans for a “surge” (a short period of increased troops) to try and end the conflict in Iraq. He names Gen. David Petraeus the top commander in Iraq.
Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York officially announces her intention to run for President.
Bulgaria and Romania join the European Union.
Russian oil supplies to Ukraine, Germany, Poland and Belarus are cut due to an escalating price dispute. As Russia is the main source for most of these countries, this causes widespread craziness. Supplies are restored three days later.

ARTS

The Shins’ album Wincing the Night Away is a surprise hit, signaling the “indie rock” community reaching full-fledged mainstream acceptance.
Somehow, Celebrity Big Brother manages to cause protests in both the U.K. and India after charges of racism are leveled.

SPORTS

Soccer superstar David Beckham agrees to join Major League Soccer’s Los Angeles Galaxy.
The Ohio State Buckeyes do not look like they belong on the same field against Florida in the NCAA football National Championship and get blown out.
Kentucky Derby-winner Barbaro is finally put down after several months where it was thought he might recover. Much debate ensues regarding whether horse racing is too dangerous.

February

NEWS

Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois announces his candidacy for President from the steps of the Illinois State House in Springfield.
Also officially announcing his candidacy is Sen. John McCain of Arizona, who had finished second in the 2000 Republican race.
Vice President Cheney visits Afghanistan, where a suicide bomber apparently attempts to kill him. The Vice President is not present when the bomb goes off.
The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change issues a report stating that global warming is “very likely” to have a human cause.
Chinese President Hu Jintao signs a series of economic deals with the government of Sudan, raising allegations that China is complicit in the Darfur situation.
Meanwhile, world stock markets plummet after both China and Europe issue smaller-than-expected growth reports in what becomes known as the “Chinese Correction.”
Astronaut Lisa Nowak causes a media sensation for her attack on a romantic rival. Wacky details continue to emerge for several days, including the fact that Nowak wore a diaper while driving cross-country so she wouldn’t have to stop to use the bathroom.

ARTS

Martin Scorsese finally wins his Oscar for The Departed, which takes Best Picture and Best Director.
Fall Out Boy, and pop-punk as a subgenre in general, reach the zenith of their popularity with the release of their album Infinity on High.
The Dixie Chicks sweep Song, Record, and Album of the Year at the Grammys.
The O.C. goes off the air, having successfully brought back the prime-time teen soap and then gone off the rails.
Anna Nicole Smith dies, causing one of the decade’s least justifiable media circuses.

SPORTS

Peyton Manning, perhaps the biggest star of his era, finally gets his Super Bowl championship when the Indianapolis Colts defeat the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI.
Tennessee CB PacMan Jones instigates one of the more entertaining sports scandals of the decade after his attempt to shower strippers in dollar bills ends in someone getting shot. He has since played again, but this pretty much signaled the end of Mr. Jones’ young career.

March

NEWS

As talk of a “surge” continues, a series of suicide bombings kills hundreds in Iraq, including several attempts on the lives of international leaders, including U.N. Secretary General Ban-Ki Moon. Both houses of Congress vote to remove all troops from Iraq by March 2008, but President Bush vetoes the bill.
Scooter Libby, former Chief of Staff to Vice President Cheney, is found guilty of perjury and obstruction of justice in the Valerie Plame case.
Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina announces that he will run for President despite the recent revelation that his wife has cancer.
In Zimbabwe, President Robert Mugabe’s arrest of several opposition leaders, including Morgan Tsangvirai, sparks mass protest and an international crisis.
A similar situation ensues in Pakistan after President Pervez Musharraf has the nation’s Chief Justice arrested for “abuse of power”.
Congress investigates the firing of eight U.S. District Attorneys by the Bush administration, believing them to have been politically motivated. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales acknowledges that “mistakes were made”.
Turkey bans access to YouTube after clips insulting Ataturk are found on the site. This act is illegal in Turkey.
President Bush goes on a tour of several South American nations, but is greeted everywhere he goes by mass protests.
The U.S. Supreme Court strikes down Washington D.C.’s anti-hand guns law (essentially a ban), holding that it violates the Second Amendment.
Congressman Pete Stark of California becomes the first member of the U.S. Congress to openly state that he does not believe in God.
Switzerland accidentally invades Liechtenstein after a platoon of soldiers gets lost.

ARTS

Media giant Viacom, who owns broadcast network CBS and several cable channels as well as Paramount Pictures, decides to sue Google and its subsidiary, YouTube, for posting its products in violation of copyright law.
Zack Snyder’s crazy sword-and-sandals graphic novel adaptation 300 is a box office hit, produces several iconic over-the-top lines, and sets new trends for action movies.
David Fincher’s nearly three hour drama Zodiac, about the vain search for a serial killer in 1970s San Francisco, is released. It becomes one of my favorite films of the decade.
R.E.M. and Van Halen are among those inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

SPORTS

Former Major League pitcher Ugueth Urbina is sentenced to 14 years in prison in his native Venezuela after apparently trying to hack someone to death with a machete.

April

NEWS

A student named Seung-Hui Cho goes on a violent rampage on the campus of Virginia Tech, killing 32 and wounding many others prior to committing suicide. It is soon revealed that Cho had sent an large package to NBC just prior to the shootings, in which he rants angrily about his fellow students. The state of Virginia tightens gun laws within the month.
The U.S. and Australia issue public warnings telling their citizens not to travel to the Philippines, apparently due to some supposedly imminent terrorist threat.
Former Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy Thompson and Former Senator Fred Thompson enter the race for the Republican Presidential nomination.
Gov. John Corzine of New Jersey suffers multiple injuries after a hit-and-run accident on the Garden State Parkway. Police reports show he was not wearing his seatbelt.
The Mayor of Nagasaki, Japan is assassinated outside his re-election campaign headquarters, apparently by the Yakuza.
Boris Yeltsin dies.
The V.A. officially allows Wiccan symbols to appear on the headstones of deceased soldiers.

ARTS

Author Kurt Vonnegut dies.
Talk radio host Don Imus causes a circus-level scandal after he refers to the Rutgers women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hos” on his program. CBS Radio ends up firing him, though he eventually returns to the airwaves.
Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s weird experiment Grindhouse is released in theaters and pretty much fails at the box office.
Avril Lavigne’s ridiculously catchy “Girlfriend” is a #1 hit.
Nine Inch Nails release The Year Zero, their last studio album prior to going on “indefinite hiatus”. I play it so much this summer that my roommate has to ask me to stop.

SPORTS

The Florida Gators defeat the Ohio State Buckeyes in the final of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Ironically, Florida becomes the first school ever to win the national basketball and football titles in the same year, and in both cases defeated Ohio State in the final.

May

NEWS

The 2008 Republican Presidential candidates debate for the first time. The field includes John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Fred Thompson, Duncan Hunter, Rudy Giuliani, Sam Brownback, Tom Tancredo, and Tommy Thompson.
Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico, announces he is running for President.
Footage showing a 17-year-old Kurdish girl being publicly stoned to death is posted on YouTube, causing widespread international outcry.
Conservative candidate Nicolas Sarkozy is elected President of France. Many predict this will end an era of tense relations between the U.S. and France. This only sort of happens.
A compromise measure continuing funding of the Iraq war makes it through Congress. It sets “achievement benchmarks” as a condition of the funding.
Former Bush administration official Paul Wolfowitz resigns as head of the World Bank after alleged repeated ethics violations.
Six muslim men are arrested on charges that they were plotting a terrorist attack against Fort Dix in New Jersey.
Jerry Falwell dies.
I graduate from college.

ARTS

Spider-Man 3 is thought by most not to be close in quality to the first two films of the series but still sets yet another opening weekend box office record. Topher Grace and Thomas Haden Church play the villains Venom and Sandman.
Also released this month is Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, which concludes the improbably trilogy and goes on to become the year’s highest grossing film.
The Palme d’Or at Cannes goes to the Romanian film 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days. It becomes one of the most critically acclaimed films of the decade but never really gets a decent release in the U.S.
Michael Chabon’s noirish alternate history The Yiddish Policeman’s Union is published. It eventually earns a Hugo, thought by some to signal hardcore sci-fi’s acceptance of mainstream popularity.
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini is published.
Linkin Park’s Minutes to Midnight album is a megahit.

SPORTS

The first F.A. Cup final is played at the new Wembley Stadium in London. Chelsea beats Manchester United 1-0 in overtime.
Later this month, AC Milan defeats Liverpool for the Champions League title.
Dogfighting allegations emerge against superstar Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick. He eventually loses his job with the Falcons and spends several months in prison, though he has since returned to the NFL.

June

NEWS

Apple releases the iPhone, leading to the mass adoption of the PDA.
Gordon Brown, formerly Chancellor of the Exchequer, replaces Tony Blair as leader of the Labor Party and Prime Minister of Great Britain.
Turkish forces cross (or maybe do not cross) the Iraqi border while pursuing Kurdish militants, adding an extra bit of international crisis to the already chaotic Iraq situation.
The European Union issues a report revealing “secret prisons” by the United States in Poland and Romania in which terror suspects could be held and tortured without public record.
A car on fire crashes into the main terminal building at Glasgow International Airport, but fails to explode in an apparently foiled terrorist attack. Security pulls two men from the wreckage and beats the crap out of them.
Both houses of Congress pass a bill that would ease restrictions on funding for stem cell research, but President Bush vetoes it.
Michael Bloomberg, the Mayor of New York City, leaves the Republican Party and registers as an Independent.
Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho is arrested at the Minneapolis airport for supposedly soliciting a male undercover officer for sex in the men’s bathroom using coded signals. Sen. Craig confesses, but later retracts this, stating he didn’t fully realize what was going on.
Japan officially changes the name of Iwo Jima to Iwo To, “to reflect the wishes of its original inhabitants.”
The Bald Eagle is removed from the endangered species list.

ARTS

The final episode of The Sopranos is aired. Its ending, a mid-scene cut to black, is heavily debated across America.
Flight of the Conchords debuts on HBO.
The comedy Knocked Up makes a star out of Seth Rogen and signals Judd Apatow’s takeover of Hollywood comedy.
Rihanna’s album Good Girl Gone Bad is released. It spawns several hits, notably “Umbrella” and “Disturbia”.
MSNBC anchor Mika Brzezinski protests on air when she is forced to lead with Paris Hilton being released from prison instead of the Iraq War, and at one point attempts to set her script on fire on air but is prevented by her co-anchor.

SPORTS

The Cleveland Cavaliers and LeBron James make a very fun run to the NBA finals, highlighted by James’ single-handed domination of the Detroit Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals. However, the team runs into a brick wall in the NBA Finals and is swept by the San Antonio Spurs.
The Anaheim Ducks become another very random Stanley Cup winner in five games over the Ottawa Senators.

July

NEWS

Democratic Party presidential candidates, including Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, Joe Biden, and Mike Gravel, answer questions submitted via YouTube in an interactive debate.
President Bush pardons Scooter Libby for his role in the Plame Affair, because why not at this point, right?
A list of names of alleged clients of a Washington D.C. escort service (the so-called “D.C. Madam Case”) are released. Most prominent is Sen. David Vitter of Lousiana, who admits to the allegations and apologizes but does not resign.
The National Counterterrorism Center issues a reporting stating that “al-Qaeda has regrouped to an extent not seen since 2001.” President Bush responds that this is “simply not the case.”
Conflict breaks out in the Pakistani province of Waziristan, on the Afghan border. At least 24 Pakistani soldiers are killed in a suicide attack. The conflict continues to this day.
Portugal legalizes abortion.
Rupert Murdoch buys Dow Jones (and hence the Wall Street Journal) for $5 billion.
A heat wave kills several hundred in Eastern Europe.
Two news helicopters collide while trying to cover a high-speed chase in Phoenix, killing all on board.
The U.S. minimum wage increases for the first time in ten years, to $5.85 per hour.
The Burj Dubai overtakes Taipei 101 as the world’s tallest building and is still a year or so away from completion.

ARTS

The final book in J.K. Rowling’s mega-bestselling Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, is published to mostly good reviews. It sells a record 11 million copies in the first 24 hours.
Meanwhile, the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (the first of the films directed by David Yates, who will gain critical praise as he finishes out the series) is another hit in theaters.
AMC premieres its first original drama series, Mad Men, about 1960s ad executives. It becomes a surprise critical hit, and before long becomes the closest thing in a while to the consensus best show on TV.
Michael Bay’s Transformers film officially makes superstars of Shia LaBoeuf and Megan Fox and is a box office hit of surprising proportions.
Drew Carey replaces Bob Barker as host of The Price Is Right.
Film Directors Ingmar Bergman and Michelangelo Antonioni die.

SPORTS

The 2007 Tour de France is nearly destroyed by doping allegations, as multiple race leaders test positive during the course of the race and more than one entire team withdraws from the race. It is eventually won by Alberto Contador.
The International Olympic Committee selects Sochi, Russia as host of the 2012 Winter Olympics.
21 Chilean soccer players are arrested after they scuffle with Toronto police following a game in the U-20 World Cup

August

NEWS

The I-35W bridge over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis suddenly collapses during evening rush hour, killing 13 and injuring 135. The ensuing investigation reveals that much of the U.S. infrastructure is not properly maintained and decaying.
The “Subprime Mortgage Crisis” hits the fan. Foreclosures begin in numbers not seen since the Depression. Stock markets worldwide take a nose dive.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announces his resignation. Many connect it to the investigation into Justice Department firing of district attorneys. Also resigning this month is Karl Rove, Bush campaign guru and White House Deputy Chief of Staff.
A court in Iowa rules that gay marriage must be allowed under the state constitution, making it the first “middle America” state to legalize the practice.
An earthquake kills over 500 in Peru.
The first-ever U.N. special session on climate change is extended an extra day because there are so many “worried nations” that want to describe their climate-related problems.
Democratic Presidential participate in a forum focusing on gay and lesbian issues, a first for a major party.

ARTS

The Disney Channel’s High School Musical 2 becomes the most-watched program in cable TV history.

SPORTS

Barry Bonds, under a cloud of steroid suspicion, breaks the all-time career home run record while playing for the San Francisco Giants when he hits his 756^th against the Washington Nationals, passing Hank Aaron.
The Texas Rangers break another record by scoring 30 runs in a single game against a hapless Baltimore Orioles squad.

September

NEWS

The U.K. begins to pull out of its main Iraq base at Basra, handing control over to the local Iraqi government. President Bush orders “gradual” reductions in American troops but stands firm against “drastic” reductions.
The Financial Times reports that China recently successfully hacked into the Pentagon’s main computer network.
Massive flooding in Mozambique leaves hundreds of thousands homeless and at least 200 dead.
Millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett is reported missing over the Nevada desert. He is never found.
The high-speed Eurostar train line is opened between Paris and London.
A video surfaces of Osama bin Laden, his first public appearance since 2004. There had been rumors that he was dead.
Thousands march in Buddhist-led anti-government protests in Rangoon, the largest public uprising in Myanmar in 20 years. The government cuts off the internet and cracks down.
The so-called “Jena Six”, a group of African-American youths jailed after a schoolyard brawl, are supported by tens of thousands of protestors who descend on the Louisiana town.
President Bush nominates Michael Mukasey to be the new Attorney General.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad travels to New York City to speak to the United Nations, but gets headlines for a speech at Columbia University in which he denies the Holocaust, says Americans should look at “who was truly involved” in the 9/11 attacks, and says that there is no such thing as gay Iranians.
Gen. David Petraeus testifies against troop decreases in Iraq before a Congressional committee. MoveOn.org takes out a full page ad in the New York Times calling him “General Betray Us”.
Andrew Meyer, a 21-year-old undergrad, interrupts a speech by Sen. John Kerry at the University of Florida and ends up getting tackled and tasered. The incident is of course immediately uploaded to YouTube, resulting in Meyer’s cry of “Don’t taze me, bro!” becoming a national catchphrase.
The Canadian dollar reaches parity with the American dollar for the first time since 1976.

ARTS

Halo 3 is released for the Xbox360. It breaks every sales record on the books for video games.
Kanye West and 50 Cent release albums the same week. West’s Graduation debuts at number one.
The networks somehow manage to produce a fall schedule without a single major new hit, prompting some to declare the era of network dominance over.
Author Madeleine L’Engle and singer Luciano Pavarotti die.

SPORTS

Jamaican sprinter Asafa Powell sets a new 100m World Record of 9.74 seconds while running in a meet in Rieti, Italy.
FCS team Appalachian State beats national power Michigan, 35-32, in what some call the biggest upset in College Football history. Michigan has since entered a downward spiral.
Former NFL star O.J. Simpson is charged with six felonies in regards to an attempted robbery at a sports memorabilia auction in Las Vegas. He claims he was just trying to get his stuff back.
The New York Mets lead the Philadelphia Phillies in the NL East by seven games with seventeen left to play but completely collapse and fail to make the playoffs.

October

NEWS

Former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto returns to her home country after an eight year exile. Thousands greet her in Karachi. Two bombs go off nearby, killing over 100.
Leaders of the European Union reach agreement on the Lisbon Treaty strengthening relations among member states.
Meanwhile, the Euro reaches a record high against the dollar.
Wildfires in Southern California force a million people to temporarily evacuate. Gov. Schwarzenegger announces that he will “personally hunt down” those responsible for starting the fires.
President Bush asks Congress for another $189 billion to fund the war in Iraq.
Apple releases the Leopard operating system.

ARTS

Radiohead, without a record contract, releases its album In Rainbows online, allowing consumers to pay any price they want for it. This is apparently a great success. I pay 2 pounds.

SPORTS

The Cleveland Indians have probably their best season of the decade behind stars like C.C. Sabathia, Grady Sizemore, and Victor Martinez. They upset the New York Yankees in the first round of the playoffs and are three games up on the Boston Red Sox in the ALCS before falling apart like a house of cards.
The surprising Colorado Rockies win 14 of their last 15 to squeak into the playoffs and then sweep their way to an NL title.
The Rockies then run into a brick wall against the Boston Red Sox and crash out of the World Series. The Red Sox win their second title in four years and Boston sports fans become increasingly hard to live with.
Five-time Olympic medalist Marion Jones tearfully admits at a press conference to using performance-enhancing drugs throughout her athletic career. She is eventually stripped of all medals. Recently the IOC ruled that the 2004 Women’s 100m that Jones won never officially happened.
South Africa defeats England in the finals of the 2007 Rugby World Cup.

November

NEWS

Pervez Musharraf declares a National State of Emergency in Pakistan, resulting in widespread protests and arrests. He engages in power-sharing talks with Benazir Bhutto, which go nowhere.
The Labor Party wins elections in Australia, with Kevin Rudd as the new Prime Minister.
The Writers Guild of America goes on strike over a dispute with studios over residuals, particularly for internet video. Television shows shut down production, and many movies later released are obviously lacking badly-needed rewrites. The strike drags on for weeks before the union essentially caves.
France is disrupted by massive transport and energy worker strikes in response to Nicolas Sarkozy’s proposed welfare and pension reforms.

ARTS

The Coen Brothers’ Cormac McCarthy adaptation No Country for Old Men draws critical raves and sharply divides audiences (I remember the people behind me in the theater declaring it the worst movie they’d ever seen). Many consider it one of the decade’s definitive films.
Former Bush Press Secretary Scott McClellan publishes a “tell-all” book, including allegations that President Bush himself was involved in the Plame affair.
Norman Mailer dies.

SPORTS

Baseball superstar Barry Bonds is indicted by a San Francisco Grand Jury for perjury, apparently for lying under oath about his use of steroids. Though he never officially retires, no team will hire him to play for them after this.
Daredevil Evel Knievel dies.
Sean Taylor, star Safety for the Washington Redskins and formerly for the University of Miami, is murdered in his home after he catches burglars in the act.

December

NEWS

A suicide bomber assassinates Benazir Bhutto and 22 others at a rally in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.
Kevin Rudd is sworn in as Prime Minister of Australia and immediately signs the Kyoto Protocol, leaving the U.S. as the only major hold-out.
The U.S. Senate passes an energy bill that increases automobile fuel economy standards for the first time in three decades.
Nepal abolishes its 240-year-old monarchy.
Sen. Barack Obama receives the public presidential endorsement of Oprah Winfrey.

ARTS

Oscar-bait films are in full swing. Paul Thomas Anderson’s unique oil epic There Will Be Blood is hailed as a major achievement, while screenwriter Diablo Cody bursts onto the scene for her quirky teen pregnancy drama Juno. It will earn a Best Picture nomination while Cody wins a Writing Oscar.
Will Smith’s apocalyptic I Am Legend sets records for a December opening.
Ike Turner dies.

SPORTS

The Mitchell Report into steroids in Major League Baseball is released, and though it receives heavy criticism on a variety of fronts, it reveals wide-spread steroid use throughout the mid-90s. Several well-known players are mentioned by name, among them Yankees star pitchers Andy Pettitte, who immediately admits his wrongdoing and Roger Clemens, who does not.
The New England Patriots become the first team since 1972 to finish an NFL regular season undefeated. They destroy every scoring record in the book, as Tom Brady breaks the single season Passing TD record with 50 and Randy Moss breaks the single season Receiving TD record with 23. The Patriots are roundly accused by running up the score on battered opposing defenses, continuing to pass well into the fourth quarter with huge leads. The final regular season game versus the New York Giants is broadcast on ESPN and becomes the highest rated cable program in history.

A Decade in Review: 2006

2009-12-27T00:18:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffers a massive stroke. Power is transferred to his deputy, Ehud Olmert.
Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party win elections in Canada, ending a long period of Liberal Party rule.
Hamas, meanwhile, wins the majority of seats in the Palestinian Legislative Council, a victory that has since been used by some to point out that Democracy is occasionally flawed.
Samuel Alito is sworn in as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, having replaced Harriet Miers when her candidacy collapsed.
The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 11,000 for the first time since 2001. If you sold right then you’re probably sitting pretty.
NASA’s Stardust mission returns dust from a comet to Earth for the first time.
Sen. Barack Obama appears on Meet the Press and tells Tim Russert that he is not going to run for President in 2008.
Coretta Scott King dies.

ARTS

Disney announces plans to acquire Pixar, which weirdly feels like the surrender of traditional animation to the computer age.
Meanwhile, The Disney Channel’s most successful project in quite some time is released, High School Musical. Part of you doesn’t want to hate it, but you probably should.
Time-traveling cop drama Life on Mars premieres on the BBC, and is a big enough success that it eventually gets an inferior American remake.
The Nintendo DS hand-held video game system is released. General verdict is that it’s fun but has some pretty random features.

SPORTS

Vince Young pretty much single-handedly leads the Texas Longhorns to a 41-38 victory in the NCAA national championship over a star-laden USC Trojans team, in one of the other candidates for Greatest College Football Game of All-Time. The game breaks the Trojans 34-game winning streak.
Kobe Bryant scores 81 points in a game for the Los Angeles Lakers. This is the second most in one game in NBA history, and the most since 1962.

February

NEWS

An Egyptian passenger ferry carrying more than 1,400 people sinks in the Red Sea near Saudi Arabia.
67 are killed in a stampede in Pasig City, Philippines. The stampede is caused by those trying to get in to participate in an anniversary edition the hit Filipino game show, Wowowee.
A bomb heavily damages the al-Askari mosque, an important Shiite holy site in Samarra, Iraq.
Vice President Cheney accidentally shoots a friend of his in the face while on a hunting trip, though thankfully the friend survives and later gives a press conference saying it was not the Vice President’s fault.

ARTS

U2 is the biggest winner at the Grammys, and Kelly Clarkson becomes the first American Idol contestant to win one.
The one billionth song is downloaded from iTunes. The song is “Speed of Sound” by Coldplay.

SPORTS

The 2006 Winter Olympics are held in Turin, Italy. Snowboard Cross is held for the first time and is remembered for American Lindsay Jacobellis’ unnecessary fall just before the finish. Interest in the U.S. is generally thought to be down, as several hyped U.S. athletes fail to medal. Still, the Americans finish second on the medal table, just behind Germany. Sweden wins Men’s Ice Hockey Gold and Shizuka Arakawa of Japan surprises to take Ladies’ Figure Skating.
The Pittsburgh Steelers easily defeat the Seattle Seahawks 21-20 in Super Bowl XL. The Steelers are led by the second-year QB Ben Roethlisberger and veteran RB Jerome Bettis, who retires after the game. Many afterwards feel the Steelers were on the right side of far too many questionable officiating calls in the game.

March

NEWS

The Blu-Ray disc format is released in the U.S., allowing DVDs to be watched in high definition.
A 28-year-old man enters a house in Seattle and opens fire, killing six before shooting himself. There is no apparent motive.
The ETA announces a permanent cease-fire in its violent fight for Basque independence from Spain.
Marcos Pontes becomes the first Brazilian in space after blasting off in a Russian Soyuz spacecraft.
The Cassini spacecraft discovers geysers of some kind of liquid on the surface of Saturn’s moon Enceladus, leading some to conclude there may be water there.

ARTS

Crash upsets Brokeback Mountain to win Best Picture at the Oscars, leading some to conclude that many Academy members would not watch the latter due to its Gay themes. Ang Lee does prevail as Best Director. Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Reese Witherspoon, George Clooney, and Rachel Weisz win the acting awards.
Top Chef and Big Love make their debuts. Meanwhile, FOX cancels Arrested Development.
Politically-tinged graphic novel adaptation V for Vendetta opens in theaters.

SPORTS

George Mason University becomes the lowest seeded team ever to reach the NCAA Men’s Basketball Final Four with a last-second 86-84 over #1-ranked Connecticut.
The first World Baseball Classic is held, an attempt to emulate the success of international Soccer, Hockey, and Rugby by allowing Major League stars to compete for their home countries. Japan, led by Ichiro Suzuki and young pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka, defeats Cuba in the final. Meanwhile, the U.S. crashes out with losses to Canada and Mexico.
Major League Baseball commissions former Sen. George Mitchell to prepare a report on steroid use in the sport.
Baseball great Kirby Puckett dies.
Scandal erupts in North Carolina after an exotic dancer accuses several members of the Duke University Lacrosse team of rape. The accusations turn out to probably be baseless, pursued by an overzealous prosecutor who loses their job.

April

NEWS

Rep. Tom DeLay of Texas, amidst a variety of scandals, steps down as House Majority Leader. He is replaced by Rep. John Boehner of Ohio.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announces that his nation has successfully created a few grams of enriched uranium.
Massive anti-war demonstrations nationwide mark the third year of the Iraq War.
Former Gov. George Ryan of Illinois is found guilty of racketeering.

ARTS

Stephen Colbert causes a stir when he spends his entire speech at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner ribbing a not-amused President Bush to his face.
Mary J. Blige’s “Be Without You” becomes the most successful song in the history of the Billboard R&B chart.
Paul Greengrass is acclaimed by critics for his cinema verite-tinged United 93, the first wide-release film to take the September 11 attacks as its direct subject.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ daughter Suri is born.

SPORTS

After defeating George Mason in the Semifinals, Florida beats UCLA to win the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship.

May

NEWS

More than 6,000 are killed by an earthquake that strikes Central Java. 1.5 million are left homeless.
Henry Paulson is nominated to be the new Secretary of the Treasury.
Demonstrators across the United States protest for increased rights for immigrants, though their biggest success is probably in making bigots even more frightened.
The last survivor of the Titanic disaster dies.

ARTS

Katie Couric leaves The Today Show to move to CBS and become the first solo female nightly news anchor on a major network.
MTV pioneers the next generation of reality shows with The Hills.
Blockbuster season enters full swing in theaters headlined by the film adaptation of The Da Vinci Code, starring Tom Hanks, and the over-loud and over-busy third X-Men film.
Finnish heavy metal band Lordi wins the Eurovision Song Contest, drawing chuckles from cool people the world over.
Keeping with that themed, weird-looking white-haired guy Taylor Hicks wins the fifth season of American Idol and then turns out to be pretty much unmarketable.
Paul McCartney separates from his wife Heather Mills.
The final episode of The West Wing airs on NBC to much fanfare, though some of us felt the luster has been off for a few years by now.
Also ending this month are That 70s Show, Alias, and Charmed.

SPORTS

Barbaro turns heads winning the Kentucky Derby, but tragically breaks his leg in the Preakness and eventually has to be put down.
FC Barcelona wins the UEFA Champions League title.

June

NEWS

Abu Musab al-Zarqaqi, the leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq, is killed along with seven of his aides by an American air raid just north of Baqouba.
The Senate rejects a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage by a vote of 49-48.
Montenegro declares its independence after a referendum on the subject passes. Within a few weeks, the union of Serbia and Montenegro is dissolved, leaving two separate nations.
Seventeen men are arrested in Toronto and accused of plotting to blow up various high-profile targets in the region.
Later this month, the FBI arrests seven men in Miami and accuses them with plotting to bomb the Sears Tower in Chicago. However, it soon comes out that the men are not really even close to being able to do this.
Bill Gates theoretically steps down as Microsoft Chairman, but no one really believes this.

ARTS

Pixar releases Cars, universally thought to be the worst the studio has ever produced.
Bryan Singer tries to reboot the Superman franchise with Superman Returns, but fails to make a) an interesting movie, or b) a profit due to his immense budget.
Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” breaks single week records for most downloads and most radio airplay, and is miraculously not that annoying.

SPORTS

The Miami Heat finish off their one great year with Dwyane Wade and Shaquille O’Neal and win the NBA Finals over the high-flying.
The Carolina Hurricanes win the Stanley Cup, though NHL television ratings are now infinitesimal.

July

NEWS

Terrorist simultaneously set off seven bombs on passenger trains in Mumbai. 209 die and over 700 are injured.
North Korea attempts to make a whole weird convoluted statement by test firing missiles simultaneously with the launch of the Space Shuttle Discovery and American July 4 celebrations.
Israel invades Lebanon in response to Hezbollah kidnapping two Israeli soldiers.

ARTS

The sequel Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest breaks single-day and opening weekend records at the box office and goes on to become the year’s top grosser. Many feel it is a disappointment but it is remembered for spectacular special effects.
OK Go’s “Here It Goes Again” music video is a huge viral internet hit, signaling the re-birth of the music video on the smaller screen.
Quirky indie comedy Little Miss Sunshine becomes the art house hit of the year. It goes on to win multiple Oscars and get a Best Picture nomination.
Mel Gibson is pulled over for drunk driving in California and it becomes a major news story when the star proceeds to make a series of anti-semitic remarks to the police officers on the scene.

SPORTS

The soccer World Cup is held in Germany, and is mostly characterized by defensive play and weird officiating So many cards are issues in the Portugal/Netherlands quarterfinal that there’s barely enough players to finish. Italy defeats France on penalties in a Final mostly remembered for French superstar Zinedine Zidane’s inexplicable head-butt of Italy’s Marco Materazzi in Overtime.
Floyd Landis wins the Tour de France but flunks a drug test immediately afterwards. Landis continues to loudly proclaim his innocence, but his championship is taken away.

August

NEWS

London police make 21 arrests in relation to a plot to blow up airplanes en route from the U.K. to the U.S. The plot apparently involved the use of liquid and gel explosives hidden shampoo bottles, etc. Liquids and gels are immediately banned from airplanes, though tiny amounts are now allowed through checks in see-through bottles.
Pluto is demoted from the status of “planet” at a meeting of the International Astronomical Union, causing lots of weird jokes and international eye-rolling, though the astronomers were just trying to do their jobs.
Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut, former Democratic Vice Presidential candidate but later outspoken Iraq War supporter, loses his Primary for re-election but announces he will run in November as an independent.
The U.N. brokers a peace agreement in the Israel/Lebanon War.
In Austria, Natascha Kampusch manages to escape after being held by Wolfgang Priklopil for eight years in his basement. The story makes international headlines. Priklopil throws himself in front of a train.
John Mark Karr creates a media frenzy by confessing to the infamous JonBenet Ramsey murder, but is quickly discovered to be lying.

ARTS

Edvard Munch’s The Scream is recovered by a police raid in Oslo.
Oliver Stone’s big studio drama version of 9/11, World Trade Center, flops at the box office. Studios conclude audiences are not interested in dramas about current events. Stone has not gotten to make another movie.
Sci-Fi Channel cancels Stargate SG-1 after a rather inexplicable 10 seasons and over 200 episodes.

SPORTS

Tony Kornheiser is added to the Monday Night Football announcing booth.

September

NEWS

Congressman Mark Foley of Florida resigns after his sexually aggressive text messages to male Congressional pages are publicized. We are well on our way to the word “sexting” being used in newspaper headlines.
A coup d’etat in Bangkok precipitates an ongoing crisis. Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra is removed by members of the Royal Thai Army. Mass protests follow.
During a lecture in Germany, Pope Benedict XVI quotes a source criticizing the Islamic faith. Mass protests ensue in the Muslim world.
Tony Blair announces that he plans to resign as Prime Minister and hand power to Gordon Brown.
Spinach contaminated with E. Coli poisons at least 100 people across the U.S. I always knew spinach would be trouble.

ARTS

Crocodile Hunter host Steve Irwin dies after being stabbed in the heart by a stingray off the Great Barrier Reef.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy, a ultra-bleak post-apocalyptic book with literary pedigree, is published, draws critical raves, and becomes an unlikely bestseller when Oprah selects it for her book club.
Christina Aguilera and Beyonce Knowles release hit albums in the same week.
Fear Factor airs its final episode.
High concept dramas premiere on most of the major networks. Superhero serial Heroes is the biggest hit, on NBC.

SPORTS

Former Eagle and current Dallas Cowboys WR Terrell Owens creates a media firestorm after he takes too many pills. A public debate ensues over whether he tried to kill himself or simply overdosed accidentally.

October

NEWS

South Korean Ban Ki-Moon is elected as the new Secretary General of the United Nations.
Google buys YouTube for $1.65 billion, the first step in Google’s gradual world takeover.
Charles Carl Roberts shoots and kills five girls in an Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania before killing himself.
13 die after a freak massive snowstorm paralyzes Buffalo, New York. Over 400,000 spend several days without electricity.
President Bush publicly admits that the Iraq War is “not going well.”
The U.S. population officially reaches 300 million.

ARTS

Martin Scorsese’s latest gangster drama, The Departed, this time set in the Boston irish mob, starring Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mark Wahlberg among others, still surprises insiders by becoming a major hit (mostly due to its violent content and depressing ending).
Sofia Coppola ignites a widespread debate among film nerds with Marie Antoinette. Most either hate it with a fiery passion or call her a female Kubrick.
The final Lemony Snicket book is published.
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins is published, heralding a new faction of public, in your face Atheism. I read it and am not particularly impressed.
Weird Al Yankovic finally gets his first Top 10 hit after 25 years, with “White and Nerdy”.
The rock world finds itself debating the deliciously overblown My Chemical Romance album “The Black Parade”.
It’s a good month for new TV shows. 30 Rock, Dexter, Friday Night Lights, and Torchwood premiere.

SPORTS

The St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series in five games over the Detroit Tigers. The Cardinals regular season record is the worst ever for a Series champ, 83-78, and a debate ensues as to whether the Cardinals are the weakest champion ever. Albert Pujols gets his championship.
Legendary Celtics coach Red Auerbach dies.

November

NEWS

Somewhat surprisingly, the Democrats win big in mid-term elections, gaining control of both the House of Representatives and the Senate. Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of California becomes the first female Speaker of the House of Representatives. Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania is among those who lose their seats. Sherrod Brown defeats incumbent Republican Sen. Mike DeWine in Ohio. Sen. Joe Lieberman wins re-election as an independent in Connecticut.
Missouri voters pass a ballot measure funding stem cell research, which had caused a famous feud between Rush Limbaugh and Michael J. Fox.
Though six out of seven states with similar ballot measures pass them, Arizona becomes the first state to defeat by popular vote a ban on gay marriage.
Saddam Hussein is found guilty of “crimes against humanity” by an Iraqi court and sentenced to death by hanging.
A series of bomb and mortar attacks by insurgents terrorize the Baghdad neighborhood of Sadr City. At least 215 die.
Alexander Litvinenko’s dies in London after being poisoned, allegedly by the Russian government. International intrigue ensues.
Typhoon Durian hits the Philippines. At least 720 die when it triggers a mudslide on Luzon.
Ted Haggard resigns as head of the New Life Church after admitting to having homosexual liaisons while doing crystal meth. Nobody’s perfect, I suppose.

ARTS

The PlayStation 3 is released in North America, followed two days later by Nintendo’s semi-revolutionary Wii system, a mostly successful attempt to finally bring video gaming to the grandmas of the world.
Sacha Baron Cohen’s semi-documentary Borat touches a nerve in the cultural zeitgeist and rips Middle American ignorance a new one.
The James Bond franchise is re-ignited and modernized by Casino Royale starring Daniel Craig as the famous spy.
Arabic news network al-Jazeera’s English language channel hits the air, though no cable service in the U.S. will carry it.
Snow Patrol are the first British band in the last 13 years to reach the top 5 on the U.S. album charts.
Gears of War is released for the Xbox 360, and ends up as the years highest selling original game.
Robert Altman and Jack Palance die.

SPORTS

Bo Schembechler dies, and the Dead Schembechlers temporarily consider renaming themselves before deciding heck with it.

December

NEWS

Saddam Hussein is hanged in Baghdad.
Former President Gerald Ford dies.
Robert Gates, usually seen as a more moderate choice, replaces Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense.
Felipe Calderon is inaugurated as President of Mexico, and Hugo Chavez is re-elected as President of Venezuela.
Ohio bans smoking in all bars and public places after a ballot initiative in the November election.
Sen. Tim Johnson of South Dakota suffers a stroke during a radio interview.
ETA breaks its cease-fire by setting off a bomb in the Madrid airport, killing 2.
The Chinese River Dolphin officially becomes extinct
The American death toll in Iraq reaches 3,000.

ARTS

Dreamgirls, a musical about a fictionalized version of the Supremes, is chief among the end of year Oscar bait films. However, it ends up missing a Best Picture slot, resulting in some charges of Oscar racism.
Meanwhile, more indie-inclined film viewers are graced with two of the decade’s best SF films, Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men and Guillermo Del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth.
Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris is published, the fourth book to feature the character of Hannibal Lecter.

SPORTS

The Boston Red Sox win a bidding war and pay $50 million to Daisuke Matsuzaka’s Japanese team just for the right to negotiate with the pitcher. They eventually sign him to a massive contract.

A Decade in Review: 2005

2009-12-25T21:48:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

George W. Bush is officially inaugurated for his second term as President of the United States in Washington D.C.
Iraq holds its first free democratic parliamentary elections since 1958.
Mahmoud Abbas is elected to succeed Yasser Arafat as President of the Palestinian Authority.
Former Presidents Bush and Clinton work together to raise money to relieve victims of the Indian Ocean tsunami.
The Governor of Baghdad, Ali al-Haidri, is assassinated by insurgents.
The ESA’s Huygens probe lands on Titan.

ARTS

Talk show host Johnny Carson dies.
The SciFi Channel debuts the first episode of the “reimagining” of Battlestar Galactica. The series is among the most critically acclaimed the decade, is the biggest hit by the history of the channel, and is considered by many non-fans (and some fans) to be the best SF series in history.
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro is published.

SPORTS

After several tries, the Donovan McNabb-led Philadelphia Eagles finally win the NFC Championship Game and make it to the Super Bowl.
USC blows out Oklahoma to win the national NCAA football championship.

February

NEWS

North Korea announces that it possesses nuclear weapons, though this is never really completely proven.
The Kyoto protocol, meant to help prevent climate change, goes into effect world-wide, though the United States is not on board.
A suicide bombing in Beirut kills former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri along with sixteen others, setting off chaos in the nation.
A series of suicide bombings in Iraq kill worshipers on the Shia holiday of Ashura.
Meanwhile, President Bush asks for an additional $81.9 billion from Congress to fund the war. He gets it.

ARTS

Million Dollar Baby, a movie about a female boxer and her old guy trainer, wins the Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director for Clint Eastwood, Best Actress for Hilary Swank, and Best Supporting Actor for Morgan Freeman. Jamie Foxx and Cate Blanchett also win awards.
UPN announces the cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise. It ends in May, the first time no Trek series has been on the air since the beginning of Star Trek: The Next Generation in the 80s. The final episode is universally thought to be terrible.
Journalist Hunter S. Thompson commits suicide.
Christo’s installation The Gates is held in New York City’s Central Park and generates worldwide buzz.
Blink-182 goes on “permanent hiatus”, and Korn’s guitarist leaves the band after converting to born-again Christianity.
The first episode of the animated series American Dad! airs following the Super Bowl on FOX, while another animated hit, Avatar: The Last Airbender premieres on Nickelodeon.
U.K. soap opera EastEnders celebrates its 20th anniversary by killing off one of its characters.

SPORTS

The NHL is unable to come to a labor agreement with its players union and makes the unprecedented decision to officially cancel the season.
The New England Patriots hold on to beat the Philadelphia Eagles 24-21 and win their third championship in four years. Donovan McNabb throws up on the field while trying to lead an Eagles comeback and Terrell Owens plays a strong game despite a broken foot, but it’s not enough. WR Deion Branch is voted MVP.

March

NEWS

The case of Terri Schiavo, a brain-damaged woman whom her husband wants to let die, dominates American headlines. The Republican-led Congress tries to intervene despite Mrs. Schiavo having been in a vegetative state for 15 years, but her feeding tube is eventually disconnected.
Steve Fossett completes the world’s first round-the-globe, non-stop, non-refueled trip in the Virgin Atlantic GlobalFlyer.
Brian Nichols kills three while escaping from an Atlanta courthouse and takes a hostage in an attempt to elude law enforcement. The hostage apparently convinces him to release and turn himself in by “appealing to his better nature”, though it later turns out they also drugged him.
Kyrgyzstan experiences what is known as the “Tulip Revolution”, resulting in the overthrow of its President Askar Akayev.
WorldCom is found guilty of securities fraud.
Johnnie Cochran dies.

ARTS

Dan Rather retires
The U.S. version of The Office airs for the first time on NBC and ends up being one of the decade’s main comedic trendsetters.
Meanwhile, a modernized version of Doctor Who, starring Christopher Eccleston in the title role, is a huge hit in its debut on the BBC.
50 Cent’s releases The Massacre, which sells a million copies in a week and has five top five singles.
The final episode of NYPD Blue airs.
G4 airs the first episode of cult-hit geek news show Attack of the Show!

SPORTS

Hearings on steroid use in Major League Baseball are held in a Congressional Committee and result in a ridiculous spectacle. Mark McGwire refuses to answer questions, saying “I’m not here to talk about the past,” Sammy Sosa suddenly loses his ability to speak English, and Rafael Palmeiro flat out denies he’s ever uses steroids.
The #1 ranked University of Illinois pulls off an amazing 15 point comeback in the final four minutes in their NCAA basketball tournament quarterfinal game versus Arizona.

April

NEWS

Pope John Paul II dies in Rome. He is replaced by German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who a few accuse of past Nazi connections. Cardinal Ratzinger takes the name Benedict XVI as pontiff. He is the 265th pope.
Cleric Moqtada Sadr organizes tens of thousands of demonstrators to march through Baghdad in protest of the American occupation. They rally in the square that once held the famously pulled-down statue of Saddam Hussein.
In the face of international pressure, Syria pulls its last troops out of Lebanon after 29 years.
A Japanese passenger train derails near Osaka, killing over 100.
Eric Rudolph officially confesses to the 1996 Olympic Park bombing.
Zacarias Moussaoui pleads guilty to murder charges but denies claims that he is the “20th hijacker.”
Prince Charles marries Camilla Parker Bowles. She takes the title of the Duchess of Cornwall.

ARTS

The unique, ultra-violent graphic novel adaptation Sin City makes new arguments for computer technology in movie-making.
Hollywood finally releases its big-budget Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie, with middling results.
Mariah Carey’s comeback album The Emancipation of Mimi debuts at #1.
ABC News anchor Peter Jennings announces live on the air that he has lung cancer.

SPORTS

Illinois can’t quite go all the way, losing a very good NCAA basketball final to the University of North Carolina, 75-70. All five North Carolina starters then jump to the NBA, with varying degrees of success.

May

NEWS

One the largest months for insurgent attacks in Iraq. A suicide bomber kills 60 when he blows up a Kurdish Police recruitment center in Irbil.
Protests grow violent in Uzbekistan during the trial of 23 accused Islamic militants. The Uzbek military ends up opening fire and killing as many as 700.
Private Lyndie England pleads guilty to charges related to the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal during her court-martial.
The identity of Watergate source Deep Throat is finally revealed to be Mark Felt, who during the scandal was Associate Director of the FBI.
Tony Blair is re-elected as Prime Minister of Great Britain.

ARTS

The final Star Wars prequel, Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith, showing the creation of Darth Vader, is the year’s biggest Box Office hit.
Country-tinged singer Carrie Underwood of Checotah, Oklahoma, wins the fourth season of American Idol. She goes on to become perhaps the most successful Idol winner.
FOX revives Family Guy to strong DVD sales and high ratings for re-runs on Adult Swim, a possible TV first. The revival turns out to be a great success.
The anti-racism drama Crash is released in theaters and is a surprise success. The film sharply divides critics, receiving raves from some and complete dismissal from others.
Tom Cruise officially becomes a permanent subject of public ridicule when he jumps on Oprah’s couch while shouting about just how in love he is with Katie Holmes. “Jumping the Couch” enters the pop culture lexicon.
Nine Inch Nails releases With Teeth, their first studio album in six years, Weezer releases possibly their first really good album of the decade, Make Believe, Audioslave has a series of major hits with Out of Exile, and the Gorillaz album Demon Days is a surprise international success. Twelve rock albums hit number one this year, the most since the early nineties.

SPORTS

Liverpool defeats AC Milan on penalties to win their first European club soccer championship.

June

NEWS

Vice President Cheney infamously states that the Iraqi insurgence is in its “last throes”.
Gay marriage is legalized in Canada and Spain.
The U.S. and Russia try to launch a joint light-sail spacecraft, Volna, the first of its kind, but the rocket explodes 80 seconds after lift-off.
William Donaldson resigns as Chairman of the Securities Exchange Commission. Donaldson’s tenure was known for a general relaxation of various regulations on the financial sector.

ARTS

Michael Jackson is officially cleared of child molestation charges.
Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins, starring Christian Bale, successfully reboots one of the more famous comic book heroes simply by taking him seriously.
The Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie spy dramedy Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Steven Spielberg action epic/response to 9/11 War of the Worlds are both hit blockbusters.
March of the Penguins, a nature documentary narrated by Morgan Freeman, surprisingly ends up being one of the year’s most popular and defining films.
Destiny’s Child announce that they will disband following the completion of their world tour.
Christopher Eccleston leaves Doctor Who in the first season finale and is replaced by David Tennant, who will prove to be even more popular in the title role.
Anne Bancroft dies.

SPORTS

The Detroit Pistons and San Antonio Spurs play a back-and-forth seven game NBA Finals, with the Spurs eventually prevailing four games to three. The series is the lowest rated in history and is known for a defensive style of play.
Boxer Mike Tyson fights for the last time.
Jamaican sprinter Asafa Powell breaks the World Record at 100 meters while running at the Olympic Stadium in Athens.

July

NEWS

Four explosions rock the London public transit system (three on the Underground and one on a bus) on July 7. 56 are killed and over 700 are injured. The bombings were the work of four British Muslims who were opposed to the U.K.’s involvement in the Iraq War.
The Irish Republican Army issues a statement calling for an end to the violent campaign it has waged since 1969. All units are ordered to dump their arms.
The annual G8 summit is held in Gleneagles, Scotland, resulting in violent protests, particularly from the anti-war, anti-America faction.
The Egyptian resort Sharm-el-Sheikh is hit by a series of bombings, resulting in 88 deaths.
Sandra Day O’Connor, who had been the first woman to appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, retires from the bench. President Bush nominates John Roberts to replace her.
New York Times reporter Judith Miller, a Pulitzer Prize winner, goes to jail for refusing to name her sources after being asked to disclose them in Court during the Valerie Plame investigation. She spends three months in prison.

ARTS

A series of simultaneous world-wide concerts to combat poverty, Live 8, is held, headlined by a reunion of Pink Floyd.
The next-to-last book in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling is published. The book sells three million copies in sixteen hours.
Fantastic Four ends up as perhaps the biggest superhero-related film failure of the decade.
Meanwhile, Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson open big at the box office in the comedy hit Wedding Crashers.
Luther Vandross dies.

SPORTS

Days before for the July 7 terror attacks, the 2012 Summer Olympics are awarded to London.
The NHL and its Players’ Union finally agree on a new contract, though it’s too late to save the 04-05 season.
Wade Boggs, Ryne Sandberg, and Peter Gammons are among those inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Lance Armstrong wins his seventh consecutive Tour de France, in what is thought at the time to be his last race.

August

NEWS

Hurricane Katrina strikes the Gulf Coast of the United States, causing widespread devastation. The New Orleans levee system experiences catastrophic failure, and 80% of the city ends up underwater. At least 1,800 lose their lives due to the initial storm alone. Federal response is extremely slow and widely criticized, as many refugees are forced to crowd into the Louisiana Superdome (meant to hold 800, 30,000 crowd in) and other evacuation centers. Damage estimates place it as easily the worst natural disaster in U.S. history.
A crowd crush on a bridge in Baghdad (possibly caused by fears of a suicide bomber) causes at least 700 deaths.
West Caribbean Airlines Flight 705 crashes into a mountain in Venezuela, killing all 152 aboard.
Israel, at the strenuous urging of everyone else involved, “unilaterally disengages” from 25 Jewish settlements on the West Bank.
Cindy Sheehan, the mother of soldier killed in the Iraq War, makes a name for herself by camping out outside President Bush’s Crawford, Texas ranch and saying she won’t leave until she gets to see the President. She never does get that meeting.

ARTS

Al Gore launches “Current TV”, sort of a news channel.
Peter Jennings dies of cancer.
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susannah Clarke sweeps all the speculative fiction awards, including the Hugo.
Death Cab for Cutie releases their album Plans, which becomes a surprise major hit and sets many new trends in Rock.
The series Prison Break debuts on FOX, a serialized adventure in the tradition of 24 and Lost. It never quite reaches the levels of its two predecessors.
The famous final episode of Six Feet Under airs.

SPORTS

Rafael Palmeiro is the first “big fish” to officially test positive for steroids in Major League Baseball, fresh off denying he’d ever taken any to a Congressional committee. He is suspended for 50 games.

September

NEWS

The situation in New Orleans remains one of widespread chaos. Nearby cities like Baton Rouge and Houston see massive floods of refugees they are not prepared to handle. FEMA Director Michael Brown is praised by President Bush at first, but is soon recalled to Washington and resigns. For the first time in memory foreign countries start sending shipments of relief supplies to the United States. There is speculation that there are no Federal troops to help out because the entire National Guard is in use overseas.
Meanwhile, rescue efforts are hampered when Hurricane Rita hits the already battered Gulf Coast.
Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten prints political cartoons depicting the prophet Muhammad, resulting in widespread protests throughout the Muslim world after they become publicized around the world. Over 100 die when demonstrations turn violent. The Prime Minister of Denmark calls it the nation’s worst foreign policy crisis since World War II.
The “2005 UN World Summit” is held in New York City. It may be the largest official diplomatic summit in the history of the world.
Junichiro Koizumi is re-elected as Prime Minister of Japan.
North Korea theoretically agrees to stop building nuclear weapons in exchange for “aid and cooperation”.
Chief Justice William Rehnquist dies.

ARTS

Rapper Kanye West disrupts a concert to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina by announcing that “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Mike Myers stands next to him and looks mortified.
Joss Whedon’s Firefly movie, Serenity, the product of DVD sales, pretty much tanks at the box office but ends up on a lot of SF-related Top 10 of the Decade lists and continues to sell well on DVD. I see it three times in two weeks.
Supernatural debuts on the WB network, Bones debuts on FOX, and Criminal Minds and How I Met Your Mother debut on CBS.

SPORTS

The NBA’s New Orleans Hornets are forced to move to Oklahoma City for the 2005-06 season, going by the awkward name of the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. The NFL’s New Orleans Saints, meanwhile, play at least one home game in New York before spending most of the year playing in Baton Rouge.
Jerry Rice, the consensus Greatest Wide Receiver of All Time, retires from the NFL.

October

NEWS

A massive earthquake hits the disputed mountainous region of Kashmir. Around 80,000 die.
President Bush nominates Harriet Miers, his former legal counsel (who was never a judge) to the Supreme Court. This does not go so well. His elevation of Tom Roberts to Chief Justice does go through.
Vice President Cheney’s Chief of Staff, Scooter Libby, is indicted on charges relating to the Valerie Plame case.
Saddam Hussein’s official trial begins in Iraq.
The American death toll in Iraq reaches 2,000.
Another series of suicide bombings kills 25 people in Bali.
The Chinese spacecraft Shenzhou 6 puts two men in orbit for five days.
Ben Bernanke replaces Alan Greenspan as Chairman of the Federal Reserve.
Rosa Parks dies.

ARTS

The Colbert Report debuts on Comedy Central and very quickly becomes at least as big a hit as The Daily Show.

SPORTS

The Houston Astros defeat the Atlanta Braves to win the decisive game of their first round baseball playoff series in eighteen innings, the longest post-season game in Major League history. Utility man Chris Burke wins the series with a walk-off homer.
The Astros and the St. Louis Cardinals then play an exciting NLCS that ends in a four games to two victory for the Astros, putting the team in its first World Series since entering the league in 1961. However, the series is most remembered for the spectacular towering home run hit by Cardinals superstar Albert Pujols off Astros closer Brad Lidge to win Game 5, from which Lidge never seems to have recovered psychologically.
The World Series, however, breeds little interest nationally, though the Chicago White Sox’s easy win over the tired Astros gives them their first championship since 1917.
College football rivals USC and Notre Dame play their most famous game of the modern era, the major players of which include Brady Quinn, Matt Leinart, and Reggie Bush. The #1-ranked Trojans win on a last-second sneak by Leinart.

November

NEWS

Angela Merkel is sworn in as the first female President of Germany.
Surgeons in France carry out the first successful human face transplant.
25-year-old Briton Andrew Stimpson is reported as the first person to be “cured” of HIV. However, the technique used does not seem to be repeatable.
A series of coordinated suicide bombings in Amman, Jordan, kills at least 50 and wounds over a hundred.

ARTS

The film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is released in theaters and becomes another worldwide hit.
Keira Knightley headlines a surprisingly successful Pride and Prejudice film.
Madonna breaks the all-time record for Top 40 singles by a female artist with “Hung Up”. Her album Confessions On A Dance Floor hits #1 in 40 countries simultaneously, another record.
Ted Koppel steps down after 25 years as host of the ABC news show Nightline.

SPORTS

The Philadelphia Eagles are finally tired of the crap from their star WR Terrell Owens and suspend him for the remainder of the season, mostly for continuing to be such a jerk. A hilarious media circus ensues.
Major League Baseball announces new, official punishments for positive steroid tests, after much pushing from Congress. Suspensions are 50 games for a first offense, 100 for a second, and life for a third.

December

NEWS

The New York Times reports that the National Security Agency is using warrentless wire-taps to spy on American citizens, with the cooperation of the major phone companies. The NSA seems to think this allowed under the USA PATRIOT Act.
Elections are held for a new government in Iraq, though they’re only partially successful.
An Iranian aircraft crashes into an apartment building in Tehran. Over 100 in total are killed.
The .eu domain tag is launched for internet use.
Chad and Sudan officially declare war on each other, which feels sort of retro at this point.

ARTS

Richard Pryor dies.
Brokeback Mountain, the story of the secret gay love of two cowboys played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, directed by Ang Lee, becomes the cultural debate of the year, with most critics praising it to the skies but at least one theater chain refusing to show it.
Steven Spielberg’s other War on Terror epic Munich, Peter Jackson’s meticulous remake of King Kong, and Terence Malick’s much-beloved re-telling of the Pocahonatas story The New World are among other films released this month.
The West Wing actor John Spencer dies, forcing the series to pretty much re-write its ending on the fly.

SPORTS

Johnny Damon, one of the stars of the 2004 Red Sox team, signs with the arch-rival New York Yankees and becomes the latest symbol of everything that’s wrong with baseball. The Yankees force him to cut his hair.
Former 100 meters World Record holder Tim Montgomery is found guilty of steroid use and suspended for two years.

A Decade in Review: 2004

2009-12-24T20:08:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts wins the Iowa Democratic Caucuses. Gov. Howard Dean of Vermont is so encouraged by his second-place performance that he gives a memorable speech to supports, capped by a perhaps over-enthusiastic scream that later haunts his campaign.
David Kay, Chief Weapons Inspector in Iraq for the CIA, resigns. It starts to become increasingly clear that the “Weapons of Mass Destruction” the Bush administration was so concerned about may not ever be found.
NASA’s Spirit and Opportunity landers touch down on Mars.
President Bush announces he wants us to go back to the Moon. It later becomes clear that, sadly, nobody really wants to pay for this.

ARTS

Michael Jackson pleads not guilty to child molestation charges.
Captain Kangaroo dies.
The dance film You Got Served creates a new catch phrase.
The L Word premieres on Showtime.

SPORTS

The NCAA season ends in controversy when USC is left out of the national championship despite being ranked #1 in the Associated press poll. Lousiana State defeats Oklahoma in the theoretical National Championship game.

February

NEWS

Facebook is founded by a group of roommates at Harvard University.
The CIA admits that there was no imminent threat from Iraqi “Weapons of Mass Destruction” priot to the American invasion.
Howard Dean’s campaign is suddenly torpedoed so thoroughly that he drops out of the Presidential race.
The French National Assembly votes to ban “religious items” from schools. Many believe the law is aimed at head scarves worn by Muslim girls.
The Mayor of San Francisco starts issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, an act considered by the state of California to be civil disobedience.
Scientists in South Korea announce that they have cloned human embryos.
Religious conservatives win a majority in Iranian parliamentary elections.
A Filipino terrorist group blows up a crowded ferry, killing 116.
A rebellion in Haiti forces out Jean-Bertrand Aristide as President. Locals are suspicious of U.S. involvement, though no one’s really sorry to see him go.

ARTS

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King breaks through the barrier for Sci-Fi/Fantasy and cleans up at the Oscars, winning a record-tying 11 Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director for Peter Jackson. Acting Oscars go to Sean Penn, Charlize Theron, Tim Robbins, and Renee Zellweger
Janet Jackson’s boob falls out or something during the Super Bowl halftime show. I am watching but do not even realize it, but this causes widespread outcry. The FCC gives out record fines and then revises its rules to make content standards more stringent.
Outkast and Beyonce Knowles are the big winners at the Grammys.
Sex and the City ends, shockingly, with the girl ending up with the guy.
The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson’s literalist Easter movie in Aramaic, opens huge, helped by widespread attendance among church groups.
Kanye West starts to enter the stage with his critically-acclaimed album The College Dropout.
Construction begins on Anish Kapoor’s Cloud Gate sculpture in Chicago’s Millennium Park.

SPORTS

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots defeat a no-name Carolina Panthers team in one of the more underrated Super Bowls of all time (it sets the record for most points scored in the fourth quarter). Adam Vinatieri becomes the first kicker to win two separate Super Bowls with last second field goals.

March

NEWS

Sen. John Kerry wins 9 of the 10 “Super Tuesday” primaries and effectively clinches the Democratic Party nomination for President.
Four rush hour trains in Madrid are simultaneously bombed, possibly by al-Qaeda (though this was never proven). 191 people are killed and 1,800 are wounded.
Three days after the attack, the current Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar loses an election. It is much debated what the terrorist attacks had to do with this. The next day, the new Spanish government announces that they will be withdrawing that nation’s troops from Iraq.
Vladimir Putin is easily (probably too easily) re-elected as President of Russia.
NASA’s Opportunity lander confirms that the area it landed in was once drenched in water. Unfortunately not so much anymore.
Tony Blair becomes the first major western leader to visit Libya is several decades. The visit is in exchange for Libya publicly dismantling its nuclear program.
Ireland bans smoking in bars.

ARTS

Martha Stewart is found guilty of Conspiracy and Obstruction of Justice in relation to an insider-trading scam, and is sent to a brief but much-publicized prison term in West Virginia.
Usher’s Confessions (remember “In Da Club”?) is the first R&B album to sell over a million copies in a week.
Michel Gondry’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is released in theaters. Many consider it one of the decade’s best films (including me), but box office results are only middling.
Deadwood premieres on HBO

April

NEWS

The Abu Ghraib scandal is broken by 60 Minutes. Pictures of U.S. military guards humiliating and abusing Iraqi prisoners have severe repercussions for American international relations. Americans in Europe start lying and saying they’re Canadian.
The various factions in Darfur all sign a peace treaty. This does not last very long.
Two trains carrying explosives run into each other in Ryongchon, South Korea, killing nearly two hundred and destroying a wide area.
The final Oldsmobile is produced.
The World War II Memorial finally opens in Washington D.C.
30 St. Mary’s Axe, better known locally as “the Gherkin” is completed in London and immediately becomes one of the world’s more recognizable skyscrapers.

ARTS

Major films in theaters include Hellboy, Kill Bill Vol. 2, 13 Going on 30, and Mean Girls.
Franz Ferdinand’s self-titled debut, including the single “Take Me Out” is a big hit. Rock trends start to shift in favor of more “New Wave” influenced bands.

SPORTS

The University of Connecticut wins both the Men’s and Women’s NCAA basketball titles.
Golfer Phil Mickelson, known for years as “the best player to never win a major”, finally wins one at the Masters.
Former Arizona Cardinal Pat Tillman is killed in Afghanistan by friendly fire.

May

NEWS

Ten nations join the European Union. These include Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary, Malta, and Cyprus.
The insurgency strengthens in Iraq. Several soldiers are killed in roadside ambushes and at least one civilian contractor is beheaded in an internet video.
The President of Chechnya is killed by a landmine during a World War II Memorial parade in Grozny.
The Crown Prince of Denmark marries an Australian girl, which we would all do if they would let us.
Dr. Manmohan Singh becomes the first Sikh to be Prime Minister of India.
North Korea decides to ban cell phones.
Terry Nichols is convicted of murder charges related to the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing.

ARTS

Friends and Frasier each air their final episodes. Many eulogize the death of the traditional sitcom. NBC never really recovers in the ratings.
Also airing its final episode is Joss Whedon’s Buffy spin-off, Angel.
The Cannes Film Festival controversially awards its Palme d’Or to Michael Moore’s political documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. The film goes on to destroy all box office records for documentaries, but fails in its goal of getting the President to lose the election.
Van Helsing, The Day After Tomorrow, and Troy are released. It immediately becomes clear this won’t be that great of a blockbuster season.
Also released is Shrek 2, which goes on to be the highest grossing animated film of all time.

SPORTS

London soccer club Arsenal pulls off the feat of going unbeaten through an entire 38 game English Premiere League season.
South Africa is awarded the 2010 soccer World Cup.
A horse named Smarty Jones wins both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, setting Triple Crown hopes a-twitter once again.
Randy Johnson becomes the oldest pitcher ever to throw a Perfect Game, while pitching for the Arizona Diamondbacks at the age of 40.

June

NEWS

The “9/11 Commission” releases its report. It partially blames failures within the CIA and FBI for not preventing the attacks.
Former President Ronald Reagan dies in California at the age of 93.
George Tenet, Director of the CIA, resigns, supposedly for “personal reasons”, though most assume it’s related to Iraq-related intelligence failures.
U.S.-led Coalition forces transfer official authority in Iraq to an Iraqi interim government.
SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately-funded craft to achieve space flight.
Paul Martin is re-elected as Prime Minister of Canada, though the Liberals are forced to govern as a minority.
Preliminary hearings begin in the trial of Saddam Hussein.
Jack Ryan, the expected Republican candidate for the Senate in Illinois, drops out of the race after his wife, actress Jeri Ryan, reveals he took her to sex clubs in Paris. The expected Democratic candidate is State Senator Barack Obama.

ARTS

Spider-Man 2 takes over the consensus “Best Superhero Movie Ever Made” title and is another mega-hit at the box office. Alfred Molina plays Dr. Octopus.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is released in theaters, for some reason helmed by Mexican art house Director Alfonso Cuaron. It becomes the favorite movie of the series for many a non-fan.
Creed officially breaks up, and the Killers release one of the decade’s seminal albums, Hot Fuss. Thematically these seem related.
Avenue Q upsets Wicked to win the Tony Award for Best Musical.
Ray Charles dies.

SPORTS

In a huge upset, the Detroit Pistons easily defeat the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA finals.
The Tampa Bay Lightning, of all teams, win the Stanley Cup. The world questions why there are even hockey teams in Florida.
Smarty Jones is upset by Birdstone in the Belmont Stakes.

July

NEWS

The Democratic National Convention is held in Boston. Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts is nominated for President and Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina is nominated for Vice President. Barack Obama bursts on to the national scene by delivering a memorable keynote address.
Construction begins on the Freedom Tower on the former World Trade Center site. It still continues.

ARTS

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, starring Will Ferrell, brings a new kind of weirdly improvised comedy to theaters. It is my pick for funniest movie of the decade.
Entourage debuts on HBO, and Stargate: Atlantis is a success for Sci-Fi Channel.

SPORTS

Lance Armstrong wins an unprecedented sixth Tour de France
Greece finishes a miracle run in the European soccer championships with a 1-0 victory over hosts Portugal in the Final.

August

NEWS

The U.N. releases a report blaming the government of Sudan for crimes against humanity in Darfur.
The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth produce TV ads claiming that Sen. John Kerry did not really earn his Purple Heart awards in Vietnam, setting the stage for the political climate we’ve been living in ever since.
Hurricane Charley hits Florida and the Caribbean, killing over thirty people. It is the worst hurricane to hit the U.S. since Hurricane Andrew in 1992.
Gov. Jim McGreevey of New Jersey admits that he is “a Gay American” and resigns from office.
The Statue of Liberty re-opens for the first time since the September 11 attacks after security improvements are completed.
Protestors of all shapes and sizes descend on New York City in anticipation of the Republican National Convention.
Russia is hit by a series of deadly terror attacks, which the government blames on Chechen rebels.

ARTS

Armed robbers steal Edvard Munch’s The Scream from the Munch Museum in Oslo.
Rick James and Julia Child die.
Lois McMaster Bujold wins her record-tying fourth Hugo for Paladin of Souls.
Dave Matthews Band is sued by the state of Illinois after “accidentally” dumping 800 pounds of poop off a bridge and into the Chicago River.

SPORTS

The Summer Olympics are held in Athens, Greece. Women’s Wrestling is held for the first time. Argentina upsets the U.S.A. in Men’s Basketball and goes on to break a fifty year gold medal drought by winning both the basketball and soccer finals on the same day. American swimmer Michael Phelps wins eight medals. The games are dogged by doping allegations, particularly involving many of the home country’s big stars. The U.S.A. tops the medal table once again.
John Elway and Barry Sanders are among those inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

September

NEWS

The Republican National Convention in New York City officially re-nominates George W. Bush for President and Dick Cheney for Vice President.
Chechen terrorists take over a 1,000 people hostage, most of them children, at a school in Beslan, Russia. After two days, Russian government forces storm the complex. At least 335 people die.
Hurricanes Frances and Ivan make land-fall in Florida and the Gulf Coast, respectively. Ivan becomes the third costliest hurricane in U.S. history to date, and over a hundred die in total.
People wearing “flip-flop” costumes show up at presidential debates. Sen. Kerry is accused of waffling on issues, partially due to quotes like “I voted for it before I voted against it”, referring to the Iraq War.
Documents reported on by CBS News regarding President Bush’s time in the Air National Guard turn out to be forgeries. This is the beginning of the end for Dan Rather.
The Scottish Parliament meets in its new building in Edinburgh for the first time.
The President and Republicans in Congress allow the U.S. Assault Weapons Ban to expire.
The American death toll in Iraq reaches 1,000. Keith Olbermann starts ending each show with a count of the days since President Bush announced “Mission Accomplished”.

ART

The first episode of Lost airs on ABC. It becomes one of the most talked-about and popular series of the decade. It is still the most expensive “pilot” episode ever made.
Britney Spears marries Kevin Federline.
Green Day’s decidedly anti-Bush album American Idiot is a smash hit. Politics and rock go together once again, as do self-indulgent twelve minute epics with titles like “Jesus of Suburbia”.
Shaun of the Dead is released in theaters and earns a spot in the public consciousness through judicious use of zombies and Queen songs.
Stephen King finally releases the seventh and final book of The Dark Tower series, apparently being inspired to finish it by a death row prisoner who wanted to read it before his execution.
Susannah Clarke’s Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell published. It becomes one of the more popular genre books of the decade.
Philip Roth’s alternate history The Plot Against America is published.
Jon Stewart and company seem to hit the big time when their America: The Book becomes a bestseller and one of the year’s big Christmas gifts.
Brian Wilson releases SMiLE, only 37 years behind schedule.
Veronica Mars debuts on UPN.
Joey Ramone dies.

SPORTS

Major League Baseball announces that the Montreal Expos will move to Washington D. C. beginning in the 2005 season. They eventually change their name to the Washington Nationals.
Rape charges against NBA star Kobe Bryant are officially dropped.

October

NEWS

The Presidential campaign is at is height. It once again appears to be neck-and-neck, and some wonder if all elections will be like this from now on. The Vice Presidential candidates debate in Cleveland.
Hamid Karzai wins the first direct democratic elections for President in the history of Afghanistan.
John Howard is re-elected as Prime Minister of Australia.
Japan is hit simultaneously by a major typhoon and a major earthquake, which cause widespread damage.
Brazil successfully launches its first rocket into space.
European heads of state sign the Rome Treaty, establishing the first European Constitution.

ARTS

The first Saw movie is released on Halloween and becomes a huge hit and an enduring horror franchise.
Sideways starring Paul Giamatti is the talk of the art-house world and revives Thomas Haden Church’s career.
The creators of South Park release one of the decade’s weirdest movies, a politically-tinged comedy puppet epic called Team America: World Police.
Jon Stewart appears on Crossfire and tells the hosts to “stop hurting America.” The show is cancelled not long after. These days it seems like a won battle in a lost war.
Saturday Night Live is in the news quite a bit, first when Amy Poehler joins Tiny Fey for the first all-female “Weekend Update”, and later because Ashlee Simpson is revealed to be lip-synching when the wrong song starts playing. Her career has yet to recover. In general this was the decade where women got the upper hand on SNL.
Christopher Reeve and Rodney Dangerfield die.

SPORTS

The Boston Red Sox come back from three games down to upset the New York Yankees in the ALCS. The series enters baseball lore, as each game seems more dramatic than the last. Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling becomes legendary for pitching a gem in Game 6 with blood obviously seeping through his sock from a cut on his leg.
In almost an anti-climax, the Red Sox go on to sweep Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series, ending their famous championship drought that has lasted since 1918.
Ichiro Suzuki breaks the seventy-seven-year-old record for most hits in a season.
Former baseball star Ken Caminiti dies for reasons that could have been linked to his admitted steroid abuse.

November

NEWS

President George W. Bush is re-elected by an electoral margin if 286 to 251. The closest state is Ohio, which many feel decides the election and has many reported voting irregularities. However, the situation never quite reaches Florida 2000 proportions and Sen. Kerry concedes within a day.
In the same election, eleven American states officially ban gay marriage.
Barack Obama is elected as a U.S. Senator from Illinois.
A major U.S. force attacks the Iraqi city of Fallujah in an attempt to end its use as an insurgent stronghold. Some of the hardest fighting of the war occurs. After six days the city is occupied.
Colin Powell resigns as Secretary of State. President Bush immediately nominates National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice to replace him. It is later revealed that Powell was never really on board with the whole “invade Iraq” thing.
The Ukrainian election ends in chaos after Viktor Yanukovych is declared the winner. The international community expresses “severe skepticism”. Within a week, the Ukrainian Surpreme Court annuls the election and declares that another will be held.
Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh (distantly related to the painter), is assassinated by a Muslim upset with supposed anti-Muslim sentiment in a film he made.
The last known male po’o-uli bird dies at the Maui Wildlife Conservation Center, probably rendering the species extinct.

ARTS

Medical series House debuts on FOX. It eventually becomes one of the highest rated shows on TV.
Pixar’s computer-animated The Incredibles is a big hit in theaters, bringing superhero deconstruction to the masses.
National Treasure starring Nicolas Cage is a box-office hit. People who’ve never seen Indiana Jones compare it to Indiana Jones.
Robert Zemeckis releases an all-motion capture adaptation of The Polar Express, and the debate begins as to when computers will replace real actors.
The rapper Old Dirty Bastard dies.
Former Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell is shot seven times while on stage with his new band Damageplan in Columbus and dies.
U2’s How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb is released and is pretty much a disappointment. We are all forced to re-teach out children that “catorce” is not, in fact, Spanish for “four”.

SPORTS

A brawl at an NBA game between players on the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers spills over into the stands and causes a major scandal. Pacers star Ron Artest is suspended for the rest of the season, and never plays for Indiana again.

December

NEWS

Following a 9.3 earthquake off the coast of Sumatra, a massive tsunami strikes coastal areas of nations throughout the Indian Ocean. The official death toll is nearly 200,000, with many others not accounted for. It is considered one of the worst natural disasters in world history.
Terrorists attack the U.S. consulate in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Seven die. Meanwhile, 22 are killed when insurgents ambush a U.S. military base near Mosul, Iraq.
It is revealed that Ukrainian opposition leader Viktor Yanushchenko was poisoned with Dioxin. Accusations fly that the Russian government is the culprit. He wins the re-run of the election.
The House of Lords rules that by detaining foreign nationals suspected of terrorism without charge, the British government is violating international human rights law.
President Bush tries to nominate New York City Police Commissioner Bernie Kerik to be the new Secretary of Homeland Security. His nomination is soon scuttled when an ever-widening financial scandal is revealed. Mr. Kerik is currently in prison.
Susan Sontag dies.

ARTS

Tom Brokaw leaves NBC Nightly News. He is replaced at the anchor desk by Brian Williams.
Ocean’s Twelve is one of the weirder “blockbusters” of the decade, making it clear that all involved are just doing whatever the hell they want.
NBC owner General Electric buys Universal Studios. Now all major U.S. networks have a parent company that also owns a movie studio.

SPORTS

The San Francisco Chronicle claims to have confirmation that baseball stars Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi incriminated themselves of steroid use while testifying before a Grand Jury during the BALCO trial.
Indianapolis Colts QB Peyton Manning throws his 49^th touchdown pass of the season, breaking Dan Marino’s single season record.
Reggie White, the all-time NFL sacks leader, dies.

A Decade in Review: 2003

2009-12-23T18:52:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

Lindsay Graham of South Carolina and Elizabeth Dole of North Carolina are among the freshman U.S. Senators sworn in.
A Central Line tube train in the London Underground crashes into a wall at Chancery Lane station. 34 are killed.
International volunteers depart London for Baghdad, hoping to serve as human shields and stave off an invasion. This does not work.
Meanwhile, the United States sends 62,000 troops to the Middle East in preparation for just such an invasion.
A Cambodian newspaper incorrectly states that a Thai actress said Angkor Wat belongs to Thailand. Things weirdly escalate until the Thai embassy in Phnom Penh is burnt down. I think this may need to be a movie.
Scientists find a dinosaur fossil in China with straight-up wings. Now when I go to the dinosaur exhibit at the museum they all have feathers. I am not sure how I feel about this.

ARTS

Chappelle’s Show debuts on Comedy Central. It is brilliant but fleeting.
Mythbusters premieres on Discovery Channel. It is sort of like porn for geeks, if geeks did not also like porn.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon is published.
FOX cancels Firefly, and I’m trying to be funny about but I just can’t.

SPORTS

The Ohio State Buckeyes pull off a fairly huge upset of the Miami Hurricanes in double overtime to win the NCAA football national championship. Maurice Clarett scores the winning touchdown. Many observers declare it the greatest College Football game of all time. This is the only major Ohio championship of the decade.
The Cleveland Browns play in their only Playoff game since re-entering the league in 1999. They blow a 12 point lead with five minutes to play and lose a rather epic 36-33 game to their arch-rivals the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers win their first Super Bowl in team history easily over the Oakland Raiders. Three Rich Gannon interceptions are run back for touchdowns, which is the only time I’ve ever seen that happen in any game.

February

NEWS

The Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates while re-entering the atmosphere over Texas. All 7 astronauts on board are killed.
Secretary of State Colin Powell explains to the U.N. Security Council why the United States wants to invade Iraq. Charts are used.
At the same time, more than ten million people join protests worldwide of the impending invasion.
Osama bin Laden releases a video tape warning that al-Qaeda is planning more attacks. Donald Rumsfeld claims this is somehow proof that Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda are connected.
A laid-off former taxi driver tries to publicly kill himself by setting himself on fire in the Daegu, South Korea subway. The fire spreads and nearly 200 die.
The Station nightclub in West Warwick, Rhode Island is set on fire by pyrotechnics during a concert by the band Great White. 100 die.
An American businessman is admitted a hospital in Hanoi with an unknown disease. Both he and his doctor soon die. This is the first documented case of SARS.
Beatles producer Phil Spector is arrested and charged with murder, thus lending credence to all those people who played the records backwards.
Daniel Libeskind’s design for a new “Freedom Tower” on the World Trade Center site is selected by the city of New York. Construction has yet to begin.

ARTS

Fred Rogers dies. As my mother would say, “he is a saint.”
Norah Jones cleans up at the Grammys.
50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Tryin’ makes him a superstar.
Old School opens in theaters, and people star throwing around the term “Frat Pack”.
Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow is published. He later buys back the rights and releases it for free under a creative commons license. The novel becomes the focus of a great deal of “how do we deal with intellectual property in the internet age” debates, and also becomes known for its invention of the post-monetary currency “whuffie”.

March

NEWS

The Invasion of Iraq officially begins. This becomes known as the “shock and awe” campaign.
The World Health Organization releases a global alert regarding SARS after the disease spreads quickly throughout Asia, particularly China.
Hu Jintao replaces Jiang Zemin as President of China.

ARTS

Chicago becomes the first musical to win Best Picture since the sixties. Roman Polanski wins Best Director for The Pianist.
Evanescence releases Fallen, which is a massive hit. It is destined to be their only good album, to have about seven singles released off of it, and to serve as epic background music for epic things until the end of time.
Bend It Like Beckham is one of the year’s surprise hits at the movies.
The Sci-Fi Channel cancels Farscape.

April

NEWS

U.S. forces seize control of Baghdad with a few weeks of the beginning of the invasion, ending the regime of Saddam Hussein. Statues get pulled down.
Pvt. Jessica Lynch is rescued from an “enemy hospital”, which is a nice news story for a few days.
The Human Genome Project announces its own completion.
The spread of SARS continues throughout Asia and, randomly, Toronto, which nearly shuts down for a month or so.
Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania compares homosexuality to bestiality.
President Bush re-appoints Alan Greenspan as Chairman of the Fed.

ARTS

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is published, and inexplicably becomes an international uber-bestseller.
The White Stripes release Elephant, which includes their biggest hit to date, “Seven Nation Army”.
A Million Little Pieces by James Frey is published.

SPORTS

A freshman named Carmelo Anthony dominates as the Syracuse Orangemen win the NCAA basketball championship.
The Cleveland Cavaliers tank the end of the season in a fairly transparent attempt to end up with the number one pick in the NBA draft.
Sammy Sosa becomes the first Hispanic player to hit 500 home runs.

May

NEWS

President Bush lands a fighter jet on the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln and proceeds to give a speech about the “end of major combat operations in Iraq”. A huge banner behind him reads “Mission Accomplished”. 98% of casualties in Iraq would occur after the speech.
Eric Rudolph, suspected in the 1996 Olympic Park bombing as well as another bombing at an Atlanta nightclub, is arrested after hiding out in the wilderness for years in Murphy, North Carolina.
The “Old Man in the Mountain” rock formation in New Hampshire crumbles after a heavy rain.
2,200 people die in Northern Algeria due to an earthquake.
A draft of the proposed European Constitution is unveiled.
Reporter Jayson Blair resigns from the New York Times after it becomes clear that he pretty much made up some of his stories.
The first Democratic Primary Presidential debate is held. Candidates include Howard Dean, John Edwards, Dick Gephardt, Bob Graham, John Kerry, Dennis Kucinich, Joe Lieberman, Carol Mosley Braun, and Al Sharpton.
I graduate from high school.

ARTS
The Matrix Reloaded hits theaters. While not quite reaching Star Wars prequel levels of terrible, nobody really likes it that much.
X2: X-Men United is a mega-hit that many declare the best superhero film of all time. According to consensus, this title will change hands about seven more times over the course of the decade.
The computer-animated Pixar film Finding Nemo is an even bigger mega-hit, even with adults.
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is published.
Paul McCartney performs a concert in Moscow’s Red Square.

ARTS

Buffy the Vampire Slayer airs its final episode on UPN. In my opinion, it sticks the landing.
Dawson’s Creek airs its finale on The WB. I do not quite care as much about this one.

SPORTS

AC Milan wins an all Italian Champions League final on penalties over Juventus.

June

NEWS

Tens of thousands of protesters descend of Evian-les-Bains, France during the G8 summit there.
The U.S. Supreme Court rules that Affirmative Action in university admissions is constitutional. Three days later it declares anti-sodomy laws unconstitutional.
Joseph Hunter Parker shows up at an Albertsons grocery store in Irvine, California with a sword. He kills two employees with it before the police shoot him.
Sen. Strom Thurmond of South Carolina dies after serving in the Senate since the 1940s.
The national “Do Not Call” registry is created in an attempt to foil telemarketers. It mostly does not work.

ARTS

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the fifth book in J.K. Rowling’s bestselling series, is published. It is over 800 pages and is the longest book of the series. It takes increasingly dark turns and some people realize Rowling’s not really just going for little kids here.
Martha Stewart is indicted for insider trading in one of the stranger celebrity legal cases of the decade.
Gregory Peck and Katharine Hepburn die.
Living History by Sen. Hillary Clinton is published.
The British film 28 Days Later, directed by Danny Boyle, manages to reinvent the zombie subgenre.
Dead Like Me premieres on Showtime.

SPORTS

Tim Duncan leads the San Antonio Spurs to the NBA championship. They defeat the New Jersey Nets in the Finals.
The New Jersey Devils win the Stanley Cup back in seven games over the Anaheim Ducks, despite the efforts of Ducks goalie Jean-Sebastien Giguere, who is named MVP.
The Cavaliers actually do end up with the number one pick in the NBA draft and select a local high school boy named LeBron James. Many Clevelanders believe this is the closest they’ll ever get to incontrovertible proof God exists.
Roger Clemens notches his 300th win and 4000th strikeout in the same game while pitching for the New York Yankees.
France wins another Confederations Cup, in a tournament marred by the death of Cameroon player Marc-Vivien Foe during a semifinal game.

July

NEWS

The WHO declares that SARS is “contained”.
500,000 march in Hong Kong to protest “Article 23”, which essentially would have redefined the definition of treason to include, among other nebulous things, “subversion”. It does not end up passing.
Washington Post reporter Robert Novak outs Valerie Plame as a CIA operative in Niger. Her husband was a former Bush administration official who had said that evidence involving African sources for Iraqi WMDs used by the Bush administration was false. He states publicly that he believes the Bush administration outed his wife in retribution. This leads to a lengthy investigation.
The U.S. military kills Uday and Qusay Hussein in Iraq.

ARTS

Pirates of the Caribbean is a surprise hit in one of the more crowded blockbuster seasons ever, partially because of the Orlando Bloom/Keira Knightley romance and partly for Johnny Depp’s brilliantly goofy performance as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy debuts on Bravo and before long is a sensation.
Barry White and Bob Hope die.
The Rolling Stones and AC/DC headline a SARS benefit concert in Toronto. Estimates put attendance at about 450,000, making this the largest concert in Canadian history.
Beyonce’s first solo album, Dangerously in Love, is released and debuts at #1.

SPORTS

Vancouver is selected to host the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant is arrested in Colorado and charged with rape.

August

NEWS

Large portions of the Northeast United States and Canada are without electricity. In some places the blackout lasts for days. It is the largest such outage in American history.
The United Nations authorizes plans to send an international peacekeeping force to Liberia.
NATO takes command of the peacekeeping forces in Afghanistan. It is the first major operation outside Europe in the organization’s history.
California puts a recall of its Governor on the ballot. Candidates to replace him include Arianna Huffington, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Larry Flynt, and Gallagher.

ARTS

Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom is published and becomes a bestseller.
FOX cancels Futurama, but it seems it will never really go away.

SPORTS

Lance Armstrong ties the record with his fifth straight Tour de France victory.
Bill Parcells comes out of retirement to coach the NFL’s Dallas Cowboys.

September

NEWS

President Bush asks Congress for an additional $87 billion to fight the war in Iraq, which Donald Rumsfeld had previously stated would only cost $60 billion total. He gets the money.
Estonian citizens vote to join the European Union. Four days later, Sweden votes to join the U.K. in refusing to adopt the Euro.
Anna Lindh, Foreign Minister of Sweden, is stabbed to death while shopping in a Stockholm department store.
Hurricane Isabel makes landfall in North Carolina, killing 16 people.
Gen. Wesley Clark enters the race for the Democratic presidential nomination.
The one year period that I like to call my “Arizona Interregnum” begins.

ARTS

Outkast’s single “Hey Ya” is the biggest hit of the year. I do indeed shake it like a Polaroid picture. Their double album Speakerboxxx/The Love Below threatens to eat the world.
Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation is released and penetrates the national zeitgeist.
Johnny Cash and Leni Riefenstahl die.
Britney Spears and Madonna cause a minor sensation at the MTV Movie Awards when they kiss each other during the opening number, despite the move obviously being calculated specifically to cause a sensation.
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger is published.
Two and Half Men, NCIS, and Cold Case premiere on CBS. All are still extant.

SPORTS

Jamal Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens rushes for 295 yards in a single game against the Cleveland Browns, setting an NFL record.

October

NEWS

Gray Davis is recalled as California Governor. Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected to replace him.
China launches Shenzhou 5, its first manned space mission.
11 die after the Staten Island Ferry slams into a pier in New York Harbor.
The Concorde makes its final flight. No supersonic service has replaced it.
A huge forest fire burns down large swaths of the San Diego metropolitan area. 14 die.
Mathahir Mohamed resigns as Prime Minister of Malaysia after 22 years in office.
Rush Limbaugh admits that he is addicted to Oxycontin.
The trial of the two DC Sniper suspects begins.
The Taipei 101 skyscraper is completed in Taiwan, becoming the world’s tallest building.
The Walt Disney Concert Hall, designed by Frank Gehry, opens in Los Angeles.

ARTS

Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill is released in theaters.
Elliot Smith is found dead with two stab wounds to his chest, most likely self-inflicted.

SPORTS

Chicago Cubs fan Steve Bartman interferes with a ball in play and is generally blamed for the favored home team continuing its losing streak and handing the NLCS to the Florida Marlins on a silver platter.
Aaron Boone homers in the 10th inning of Game 7 of the ALCS to lift the Yankees over the Boston Red Sox.
The Florida Marlins, with a team mostly made up of young unknowns, upset the New York Yankees to win the World Series title.
LeBron James makes his debut for the Cavaliers, scoring 25 points in a loss to the Sacramento Kings.
The Women’s World Cup, moved from China to the United States due to the SARS outbreak, ends with a victory for Germany.

November

NEWS

The Supreme Court of Massachusetts rules that anti-Same Sex Marriage laws are unconstitutional in their state.
President Bush makes a state visit to London and is met with mass protests.
Gary Ridgway, the “Green River Killer”, confesses to murdering 48 women in Washington state throughout the 80s and 90s.
Al-Qaeda claims responsibility for two car bombs outside a mosque in Istanbul that kill 25 people.
A bill banning Partial Birth Abortion is signed by President Bush.
The DC Sniper suspects are found guilty. One is sentenced to death.

ARTS

Arrested Development, loved to pieces by many people who are not me, debuts on FOX.
The Matrix Revolutions is released, just feels superfluous.
Michael Jackson is arrested on charges of child molestation. Some people seems surprised at this.

SPORTS

England wins the Rugby World Cup in an overtime thriller over Australia.
NFL Network starts broadcasting, but many cable carriers refuse to carry it. This dispute continues to this day.

December

NEWS

Saddam Hussein is captured by U.S. troops in Iraq while hiding in a spider hole near Tikrit.
Paul Martin replaces Jean Chretien as Prime Minister of Canada.
A massive earthquake devastates southeastern Iran. Estimates of those killed range above 40,000.
The FDA approves the “Morning After Pill”.
Terrorism threats cause a great deal of edginess. Air France cancels several flights after a cryptic request from the French government, and a British Airways flight is escorted into Dulles Airport by fighter jets for reasons the U.S. government does not fully articulate.
The U.K. bans the use of cell phones while driving.
Libya admits to trying to build a nuclear bomb.
An outbreak of Mad Cow Disease in Washington State causes several countries to stop buying U.S. beef.
NASA loses contact with the Beagle 2 just before it is scheduled to land on Mars.
Al Gore endorses Vermont Governor Howard Dean for President.

ARTS

The final film of Peter Jackson’s trilogy, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King is released worldwide. It eventually tops out at #2 behind Titanic on the all-time box office list, despite being almost three and a half hours.

A Decade in Review: 2002

2009-12-22T18:26:00.002-05:00

January

NEWS

The Euro debuts as an international currency in France, Spain, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Greece, Finland, Luxembourg, Belgium, Austria, Ireland and the Netherlands. Controversially, the switch does not take place in the U.K.

During the State of the Union Speech, President Bush declares that North Korea, Iraq, and Iran form an “Axis of Evil”.

The Guantanamo Bay prison opens at the U.S. military base in Cuba. Terrorist suspects are kept here for years without trial, drawing widespread ire in the international community.

President Bush signs the No Child Left Behind Act, making standardized testing a federal requirement for better or worse.

Mt Nyirarongo erupts in the Congo, displacing several hundred thousand people.

Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl is captured in Pakistan and is accused by his captors of being a CIA agent.

ARTS

Fox News overtakes CNN in the Nielsen ratings for the first time.

SPORTS

A Miami Hurricanes team that is characterized as being better than many NFL squads wins the NCAA football championship over Nebraska.

The New England Patriots defeat the Oakland Raiders in a memorable overtime playoff game played in a snowstorm. The contest becomes known as the “Tuck Rule Game” after a controversial non-fumble by Patriots QB Tom Brady.

February

NEWS

Kidnapped reporter Daniel Pearl is beheaded in Karachi, Pakistan. The video shows up on the internet.

Slobodan Milosevic’s war crimes trial begins at The Hague.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld gives a famously incoherent briefing regarding the War in Afghanistan, in which he coins the term “known unknowns.”

The ex-currencies of nations using the Euro cease to be legal tender at the end of the month.

The U.S. government announces that all women over 40 should get mammograms, rather than all women over 50.

Queen Elizabeth celebrates her 50^th year on the throne.

ARTS

FOX cancels Family Guy.

Jennifer Lopez is the first artist to have a re-mix album (J to tha L-O!: The Remixes) debut at number one.

U2 performs a memorable Super Bowl Halftime show set while the names of the September 11 victims scroll across two huge cloth towers above them.

Alanis Morrisette releases her album Under Rug Swept, probably marking the last moment she was relevant.

Kylie Minogue’s Fever is seemingly a smash everywhere but America.

SPORTS

Amidst high security, the Winter Olympics are held in Salt Lake City. Sarah Hughes upsets Michelle Kwan to win Ladies Figure Skating Gold, and the Canadian Hockey team wins for the first time in 50 years. The loss of Canadian Pairs Skaters Sale and Pelletier in Pairs Skating sparks an international scandal and a reform of judging in the sport. They are eventually awarded a second gold medal. Norway wins the most golds but Germany wins the most medals.

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots upset the heavily favored St. Louis Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI on a last second field goal by Adam Vinatieri. A seemingly unlikely dynasty is born.

LeBron James is on the cover of Sports Illustrated as a high school junior.

March

NEWS

U.S. ground forces invade Eastern Afghanistan in what becomes known as Operation Anaconda.

Ansett Airlines collapses, resulting in the largest single job loss in Australian history.

Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan declares that “the recession is over”.

ARTS

Despite the presence of much more popular and seminal films like The Fellowship of the Ring and Moulin Rouge!, mathematician biopic A Beautiful Mind wins Best Picture, Best Director (for Ron Howard), and Best Supporting Actress (for Jennifer Connelly) at the Oscars. The ceremony becomes immediately known as “the Black Oscars” as Denzel Washington and Halle Berry take home the lead acting awards.

Comedian Milton Berle, Director Billy Wilder, and actor Dudley Moore die.

The first of the Resident Evil movies is released, starring Milla Jovovich. It becomes the most successful film franchise to be based on a video game.

The Shield premieres on FX.

SPORTS

The Connecticut Huskies women’s basketball team caps a spectacular undefeated season with an NCAA championship, though for many (like me), their complete dominance actually makes the sport less interesting.

April

NEWS

The U.S. Senate votes down the idea of drilling for oil in the Alaska National Wildlife Reserve.

The Queen Mother dies. Her funeral is held at Westminster Abbey.

Hugo Chavez resigns as President of Venezuela, but returns to office only two days later. This turns out to be the result of a failed coup d’etat.

A former student opens fire at a school in Erfurt, Germany, killing 15.

Actor Robert Blake is accused of murdering his wife. He is later found guilty.

ARTS

Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes of the girl group TLC is killed in an SUV accident in central America.

Avril Lavigne bursts onto the music scene with her single “Complicated”. She is already surly. The song would eventually spend two months at #1.

SPORTS

The Maryland Terrapins win the NCAA basketball championship. At this time I’m partly convinced I’ll end up going to Maryland, and root pretty hard for them.

Michael Jordan’s Washington Wizards experiment ends in failure as the team misses the playoffs, and he retires for good.

May

NEWS

The White House admits it had received warnings of the September 11 attacks in the preceding weeks.

FBI Chief Robert Mueller declares that another al-Qaeda attack is “inevitable”. We are all reminded to duct tape windows and doors in case of a chemical attack.

Jacques Chirac is re-elected as President of France.

A 38-day stand-off at the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem ends when the Palestinian militants holed up inside surrender.

Former President Jimmy Carter visits Cuba, a first since the Revolution. Conservatives are very unhappy.

East Timor is officially granted its independence from Indonesia.

The U.S. State Department issues a report naming seven state sponsors of terrorism, adding Cuba, Libya, Sudan, and Syria to the “Axis of Evil” nations. (Cuban terrorism?)

A jury in Alabama convicts former Klan member Bobby Frank Cherry of the 16^th Street Baptist Church bombing, which killed four young African-American girls in 1963.

The Mars Odyssey discovers large deposits of water ice on Mars.

Chandra Levy’s bones are found, confirming that she was murdered.

ARTS

The X-Files, the most popular sci-fi show to date, airs its final episode.

The first Spider-Man film, with Tobey Maguire in the title role, Willem Dafoe as the Green Goblin, and Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, breaks all box office records for an opening weekend. It is the first film to break $100 million in its first weekend.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is released, and is generally thought to not be as bad as The Phantom Menace but still pretty awful. Though it is a big hit it is the only Star Wars film not to be the top grosser of the year in which it was released.

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren is published. It becomes one of the most influential Christian books of the decade.

SPORTS

Real Madrid defeats defending champions Bayern Munich to win their 9^th European title.

June

NEWS

The Justice Department arrests Jose Padilla and accuses him of participation in a “dirty bomb” plot.

A car bomb is exploded outside the U.S. embassy in Karachi, Pakistan, killing 12.

In the worst rail accident in African history, a Tanzanian passenger train rolls backwards down a hill into a goods train and there is an explosion. 281 people die.

A planetoid is found in the Kuiper Belt, drawing comparisons to all sorts of Sci-Fi cliché Tenth Planets. These mostly end when it is inexplicably named Quaoar.

Tyco CEO Dennis Kozolowski is indicted on tax evasion charges, and video soon comes out revealing the truly astonishing extent of his extravagance.

Meanwhile, telecom giant WorldCom admits it has falsified profit statements and is on the verge of collapse.

ARTS

American Idol, an American version of Pop Idol, debuts on FOX. It goes on to be the greatest ratings success of the modern era.

The Wire premieres on HBO. Many critics will eventually call it the greatest TV show of all time.

The Bourne Identity, starring Matt Damon as an amnesiac superspy, is a hit in theaters.

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold is published and becomes a huge bestseller.

Maroon 5’s debut album Songs About Jane is a huge hit with lovers of very, very mainstream music everywhere.

Kim Possible debuts on the Disney Channel, destined to later be discovered years later by Buffy fans everywhere, forcing them to question their own lives after they find they like it.

The Dead Zone has the highest-rated debut every for a cable series up to this point for USA Network.

SPORTS

South Korea and Japan host the first World Cup held in Asia. The Koreans make a miracle run to the Semifinals and the U.S. has its best tournament of the modern era, but in the end Brazil defeats Germany in the final.

The Los Angeles Lakers easily sweep the New Jersey Nets in the NBA finals and secure their status as the glamour team of the era with their third straight championship.

Serena Williams defeats her older sister Venus in the finals of the French Open.

The Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup.

St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Darryl Kile dies.

July

NEWS

Worldcom files for bankruptcy, breaking the record for the largest such case in U.S. history.

The Bush administration publicly voices suspicions regarding Iraqi “weapons of mass destruction”, and hearings are held in the Senate in regards to a possible attack.

The International Criminal Court is established. The U.S.A. declines to participate.

French President Jacques Chirac escapes an assassination attempt during Bastille Day celebrations.

A fighter crashes into the crowd at an air show in the Ukraine and explodes. 85 people die in the worst air show disaster in history.

Nine miners are trapped in a Pennsylvania mine shaft for 77 hours, but are eventually rescued.

Zacarias Moussaoui pleads guilty to conspiracy in the September 11 attacks, but then withdraws his plea a week later.

The U.S. House of Representatives votes to allow airline pilots to carry guns.

London opens a new ultra-modern City Hall.

ARTS

The Flaming Lips release the best-titled album of the decade (and the songs aren’t bad either), Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.

Cartoon Network pulls Sailor Moon off the air.

Monk debuts on USA Network. Strangely, it is eventually seen as highly influential.

SPORTS

The Major League All-Star Game, held in Commissioner Bud Selig’s home city of Milwaukee, ends in the 12^th inning when both teams run out of players and Selig is forced to declare the game a tie. The embarrassment is such that the rules are substantially revised in the off-season.

Baseball great Ted Williams dies.

Lance Armstrong wins his fourth consecutive Tour de France.

August

NEWS

Massive floods paralyze Central Europe.

U.S. Airways declares bankruptcy.

Princeton scientist Steven Hatfill is accused of the anthrax mailings from September 2001. He denies responsibility.

Four Muslims in Detroit are charged with running a sleeper terror cell.

ARTS

Neil Gaiman is awarded the Hugo for his novel American Gods. It goes on to win more awards than pretty much any other book of the decade.

A Rush of Blood to the Head, probably the best album yet produced by Coldplay, hits stores, elevating the band to international megastar status.

SPORTS

The Houston Texans join the NFL, becoming the league’s 32^nd active franchise.

The Charlotte Hornets NBA team moves to New Orleans. It is soon replaced in Charlotte with an expansion franchise.

September

NEWS

President Bush appears before the United Nations to argue his case for invading Iraq. Very few nations join what is eventually popularly termed the “Coalition of the Willing”.

Cote d’Ivoire descends into Civil War.

A car bomb, possibly an assassination attempt on Afghan President Hamid Karzai, kills 30 people in Kabul.

Switzerland finally joins the United Nations.

Gerhard Schroeder’s Social Democrats win elections in Germany.

1,863 people are killed when a storm sinks the Senegalese ferry Joola off the coast of Gambia.

ARTS

Kelly Clarkson wins the first season of American Idol and becomes an overnight superstar. The final episode breaks summer ratings records.

FOX premieres Joss Whedon’s latest series, a bizarre space western called Firefly.

CBS, meanwhile, premieres CSI: Miami and Without a Trace. Which one do you think made more money? Kill me.

Dr. Phil’s talk show premieres.

You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers is published.

SPORTS

Pete Sampras wins his final Grand Slam title at the U.S. Open.

NFL great Johnny Unitas dies.

The United States national men’s basketball team suddenly hits bottom after a decade-long winning streak, losing three times at the World Basketball Championships and finishing sixth. Yugoslavia wins the championship.

October

NEWS

The U.S. Congress passes a joint resolution allowing President Bush to invade Iraq. All Republicans and most Democrats vote for the measure. The President makes a live primetime address to the nation explaining his decision to invade.

Terrorists detonate bombs in two popular night clubs in Bali, killing 202. A high number of the dead are Australians on vacation, and some consider the event “the Australian 9/11”.

The “Beltway Snipers” shoot several people in their cars in the greater Washington D.C. area. John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo are arrested after three weeks.

The Dow slips below 7,200. This is the lowest moment of the early 2000s recession.

Chechen rebels occupy a theater in Moscow and hold the audience hostage for three days.

Sen. Paul Wellstone of Minnesota is killed along with his family and staff in a plane crash. He becomes a symbol for the liberal wing of the Democratic Party.

ARTS

Jam Master Jay is shot and killed in Queens.

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd is published and becomes a bestseller.

Christina Aguilera enters her over-the-top ridiculous phase with the video for “Dirrty”.

SPORTS

The Anaheim Angels win the first championship of their 40 year history in seven games over Barry Bonds and the San Francisco Giants. The highlight is a five-run comeback by the Angels in Game 6.

November

NEWS

In Congressional elections, the Republican Party retains control of the House of Representatives and gains control of the Senate.

The U.N. Security Council passes a resolution urging Saddam Hussein to disarm or face “serious consequences”. Iraq says that they agree to the U.N.’s terms. The U.N. sends a team of inspectors led by Hans Blix.

Hu Jintao becomes General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party.

Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia are invited to join NATO.

President Bush signs the bill creating the Department of Homeland Security. It is the first new Cabinet level agency created since 1947.

The Environmental Protection Agency makes the decision to relax the standards set by the Clean Air Act in order to be friendlier to businesses.

ARTS

The film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets opens big in theaters.

Die Another Day, the final James Bond film to star Pierce Brosnan in the title role, is so terrible it nearly kills the franchise.

SPORTS

Emmitt Smith, in the twilight of his career with the Arizona Cardinals, passes Walter Payton as the NFL’s all-time leading rusher.

December

NEWS

Sen. Trent Lott of Mississippi makes highly publicized comments that if Sen. Strom Thurmond had been elected President when he ran in 1948, “we wouldn’t have had all of these problems over all of these years.” Thurmond was running on a segregationist ticket. Lott steps down as Senate Majority Leader two weeks later.

United Airlines files for bankruptcy.

A truck bomb destroys the headquarters of Chechnya’s Russian-backed government. 72 die.

Al Gore announces that he will not run for President again in 2004.

ARTS

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is released and eventually becomes the biggest box office hit of the year. Famous for the full-fledged introduction of the character of the all-CGI Gollum.

Star Trek: Nemesis is a total flop at the box office and pretty much succeeds in killing the franchise.

Martin Scorsese’s period epic Gangs of New York inspired intense debate among critics.

Catch Me If You Can, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio, is released. It is perhaps the most expansive, likable movie about an impulsive check counterfeiter ever made.

SPORTS

BET founder Robert Johnson buys the NBA’s expansion Charlotte Bobcats for $300 million. He’s the first African-American owner of a major sports franchise.

A Decade in Review: 2001

2009-12-21T21:00:00.003-05:00

January

NEWS

George W. Bush is inaugurated as the 43^rd President of the United States in Washington. He is the first son of a former President to take the office since John Quincy Adams.
A guar antelope named Noah is born. He is the first successful clone of an endangered species.
Earthquakes hit India and El Salvador, killing over 12,000 between them.
Wikipedia officially launches.
Joseph Estrada is forced out as President of the Philippines.

SPORTS

The Baltimore Ravens defeat the New York Giants 35-7 in Super Bowl XXXV. The Ravens defense, led by Ray Lewis, has one of the best seasons of any defense in history and the team wins the championship despite at one point going six games without scoring a touchdown.
The Oklahoma Sooners win another NCAA football championship in a rather tragic Orange Bowl by a score of 13-2 over Florida State.

February

NEWS

Ariel Sharon is elected Prime Minister of Israel.
The Iraq Disarmament Crisis continues. The US and Britain carry out air raids in an attempt to disable the Iraqi air defense network.
FBI agent Robert Hanssen is arrested and charged with spying for the Soviet Union for 15 years.
An outbreak of foot-and-mouth disease in the UK causes widespread craziness.

ARTS

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorce.
Anthony Hopkins returns to the role of Hannibal Lecter in Ridley Scott’s Hannibal. Julianne Moore takes over for Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling. Results are decidedly mixed.
The first Canadian hip-hop formatted station starts broadcasting.
Jennifer Lopez is the first female artist to have the number one album (J. Lo) and movie (The Wedding Planner) the same week.
Fidel Castro attends a concert by the Manic Street Preachers in Havana. They become the first Western rock band to play in Cuba since the Revolution.

SPORTS

Dale Earnhardt crashes during the Daytona 500 and dies.
The Xtreme Football League, a very sad attempt at competing with the NFL, debuts. It will last only one season.

March

NEWS

The Space Station Mir’s orbit finally decays and it crashes into the Pacific near Fiji.
It becomes clear that President Bush has no intention of following the terms of the Kyoto agreement to combat Global Warming.
California suffers rolling blackouts, theoretically to save power. It later comes out that there’s no real shortage and there is evidence of collusion among power companies, including Enron.

ARTS

Gladiator wins Best Picture at the Oscars, with its star Russell Crowe winning Best Actor. Julia Roberts wins Best Actress for Erin Brockovich. Steven Soderbergh wins Best Director for Traffic, one of his two entries in the category.
Two Japanese pop albums, Hikaru Utada’s Distance and Ayuma Hamasaki’s The Best, are released the same day and end up at #1 and #2 on all-time first week sales charts, shattering records.

SPORTS

Bob Knight is hired as Men’s Basketball coach at Texas Tech, but never achieves the same success there that he did at Indiana.

April

NEWS

Former Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic is arrested in Belgrade and charged with war crimes.
An American military plane and a Chinese military plane crash into each other in mid-air over Chinese airspace, and China keeps the American plane’s 24-member crew as hostages for 11 days before releasing them.
A white police officer shoots and kills an unarmed black man in Cincinnati, precipitating widespread rioting.
Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger denies rumors that he plans to run for Governor of California in 2002.
The Netherlands becomes the first nation in the world since the Roman Empire to legalize same-sex marriage.
The first “space tourist”, Dennis Tito, blasts off from Kazakhstan.

ARTS

Joey Ramone dies.
Comedy Central takes the bait and attempts to turn the White House into a sitcom with That’s My Bush! This last a month and a half.

SPORTS

Duke wins another NCAA basketball championship.
Albert Pujols makes his major league debut for the St. Louis Cardinals. He goes on to perhaps be the decade’s greatest player.

May

NEWS

Industrialist Silvio Berlusconi and his “House of the Liberties” party win elections in Italy.
Chandra Levy, an intern on Capitol Hill, disappears, and the resulting investigation turns up a story that sounds a lot like a political thriller.

ARTS

The ridiculous, overblown mess that is Pearl Harbor, a naked attempt to tap into the same audience as Titanic, opens in theaters. Perhaps unfortunately, it does not quite manage to kill Michael Bay’s career.
A much bigger hit is the animated film Shrek, first in a continuing series, which everyone in America seems to have seen by now.
Walker, Texas Ranger, 3^rd Rock From the Sun, and Star Trek: Voyager go off the air.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, still my favorite show of all-time, airs its final episode on the WB before moving to UPN in the fall. To honor the occasion, it (temporarily) kills off its main character.

SPORTS

Bayern Munich wins the UEFA Champions League title.

June

NEWS

President Bush’s $1.35 trillion tax cut makes it through Congress.
Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, is executed.
Crown Price Dipendra of Nepal kills his father, mother, and other members of the Nepalese royal family with an assault rifle in the royal palace before killing himself.
Tropical Storm Allison strikes the Houston area, causing billions of dollars in damage and killing over 20 people.
Tony Blair wins re-election as Prime Minister of Great Britain.
An American missile strikes a soccer field in Northern Iraq, killing 23. The U.S. claims it is actually an Iraqi missile that malfunctioned.
Pervez Musharraf becomes President of Pakistan.

ARTS

American Gods by Neil Gaiman is published.
Baz Luhrmann somehow manages to revive the musical with Moulin Rouge!, known for its creative uses for modern pop songs in its 1800s French love story.
“Lady Marmalade” from the Moulin Rouge! Soundtrack reaches #1 on the Billboard charts, and later wins the MTV Award for Video of the Year.
The original The Fast and the Furious film is released. It spawns an unlikely franchise.
A Stanley Kubrick project directed by Steven Spielberg, A.I.: Artificial Intelligence is released. It becomes one of the major debate points of the decade for critics.
Six Feet Under premieres on HBO.
Jack Lemmon and Archie Bunker die.

SPORTS

Allen Iverson all by himself turns out not to be quite enough, and the Philadelphia 76ers fall to the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA finals.
The Colorado Avalanche win the Stanley Cup.
France continues its era of dominance in International soccer by winning the Confederations Cup, held in South Korea and Japan.

July

NEWS

China and Russia sign the “Treaty of Good-Neighborliness and Friendly Cooperation”, setting a new standard for treaty naming.
A 60-car train derailment occurs in a Baltimore tunnel, sparking a fire that lasts for days and virtually shuts down downtown Baltimore.
A G8 summit in Genoa, Italy, is characterized by continuous mass protests against globalization. At least one protestor is shot and killed by police.
The U.S. House of Representatives votes to ban human cloning, despite this procedure not yet ever having been performed.

ARTS

Mariah Carey suffers an emotional breakdown and spends time in a New York hospital.
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is released. It draws raves for its ground-breaking ability to create nearly photorealistic humans through animation. The story does not draw many raves.
A.J. McLean enters rehab and the Backstreet Boys never really recover, which I suppose is sad.

SPORTS

Beijing is selected to host the 2008 Summer Olympics.
Cal Ripken, playing in his final All-Star Game, hits a dramatic home run off of Chan-Ho Park.

August

NEWS

President Bush announces a rather convoluted policy allowing for “limited federal funding” of stem cell research.
The President’s daily briefing on August 6 is titled “Bin Laden Determined to Attack U.S.” No known action is taken.
Congressman Gary Condit admits that he had a “very close relationship” with Chandra Levy.
Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore has a 2.5 ton monument inscribed with the Ten Commandments installed in the rotunda of the state Judiciary building. Later he is sued, acts belligerent, and is removed from office, in one of the most famous modern church and state cases.
The island of Anjouan tries to declare its independence from the Comoros, but is crushed rather summarily by the nation’s military.

ARTS

Pop singer Aaliyah dies in a plane crash.
Former President Bill Clinton is paid a record $10 million for his memoirs.
The Hugo for Best Novel controversially goes to J.K. Rowling for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, published the previous year. Fantasy and young adult books go on to dominate the decade in genre publishing.

SPORTS

The San Jose CyberRays win the first championship of the doomed Women’s United Soccer League.
Dave Winfield and Kirby Puckett are enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

September

NEWS

On September 11, members of the radical Islamist terrorist organization al-Qaeda hijack four passenger airliners. They crash two of them into the World Trade Center in New York City and a third into the Pentagon in Washington. The fourth plane, United Flight 93, crashes in a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania after an attempt by passengers to retake the aircraft. Its target was apparently the U.S Capitol Building. Both towers of the World Trade Center collapse. 2,995 people die, though a surprising number make it out alive, partly due to the heroic efforts of rescue personnel.
The days after September 11 are characterized by an outpouring of world support for the United States, as well as a national resurgence of patriotism that has both good and bad aspects. Blood donations go through the roof, hate crimes against Muslims are reported, and “I’m Proud to Be an American” is played every morning on my High School’s announcements.
The national air network is grounded for days following the attacks, and even when air service resumes passenger levels plummet. Several airlines go bankrupt within the next few years.
Packages containing Anthrax spores are received by several prominent U.S. political and media offices. 22 get sick and five die. It is assumed at the time that they are connected to Islamist terrorists but the letters turn out to have been mailed from Princeton, New Jersey, probably by a disaffected scientist.

ARTS

The collapse of the World Trade Center towers is shown on live televison, a moment most famously narrated by CNN anchor Aaron Brown, paradoxically, with the line “there are no words.” Most American networks abandon regular programming for at least a week after the attacks.
Fox News starts continuously scrolling headlines across the bottom of the screen so viewers can follow news of the attacks. This soon becomes permanently common place on news networks.
Film critic Pauline Kael dies.
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen is published. The author refuses to allow Oprah to name it as her book of the month.
The Life of Pi by Yann Martel is published. It is the greatest book ever written about being trapped in a life boat with a tiger.
A music special entitled America: A Tribute to Heroes is aired across all major U.S. networks.
System of a Down’s hit “Chop Suey!” is among a list of songs deemed “inappropriate” by Clear Channel in the wake of the September 11 attacks.
Several TV shows are hurriedly re-written to address the September 11 attacks, most notably The West Wing.
CBS debuts The Amazing Race, probably still the best idea for a reality show anybody’s produced. Also premiering this month is Alias.

SPORTS

Michael Jordan announces he is returning to basketball to play for the Washington Wizards.
New England Patriots QB Drew Bledsoe is injured and is replaced with a little known back-up named Tom Brady.
All major sports are canceled in America for several days following the terrorist attacks. This is the first time the NFL has called off a weekend’s games since the Kennedy Assassination.

October

NEWS

The United States begins air strikes in Afghanistan, where Osama bin Laden and the other leaders of al-Qaeda are thought to be in hiding. The resulting “War in Afghanistan” continues to this day.
President Bush signs the USA PATRIOT Act (which actually stands for Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism). This gives widespread powers to investigatory agencies in an attempt to prevent terrorism, though many believe it violates the Constitution.
The spacecraft Galileo passes within a hundred or so miles of the surface of Jupiter’s moon Io.

ARTS

Scrubs, Smallville, and According to Jim debut on American networks. All are destined to live much longer than they have any right to.
Meanwhile, a singing competition TV show called Pop Idol debuts in the UK. It will eventually threaten to become the monster that ate worldwide TV.

SPORTS

Barry Bonds breaks Mark McGwire’s single-season home run record, ending the season with 73. Meanwhile, the Seattle Mariners break the single-season wins record with 116. Neither gets close to the World Series.
Derek Jeter of the Yankees makes the famous flip to get Jason Giambi of the Oakland Athletics at home plate in the Divisional Playoffs.
Pardon the Interruption debuts on ESPN. It is among my most-watched shows of the decade.
An Ontario newspaper reports that Major League baseball plans to “contract” the Montreal Expos and Florida Marlins after the World Series. This plan is scuttled after the resulting public outcry.

November

NEWS

President Bush signs an order allowing Military Tribunals to try foreigners suspected of connections to actual or planned terrorist attacks within the United States. It is the first such act since World War II.
After 15 years of intense negotiations, the People’s Republic of China is admitted to the World Trade Organization.
Heavy rains in Algeria result in massive mudslides that kill 900 people.
American Airlines Flight 587 crashes just after takeoff from John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City, killing 260 and setting off widespread panic among skittish New Yorkers.
The U.S. government, fearful of biological terrorism, begins a widespread effort to train emergency workers to recognize the symptoms of smallpox.

ARTS

George Harrison dies.
24 debuts on FOX, bringing a new frontier of serialization to modern TV.
The film adaptation of the first Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, is released. It is the year’s number one film and makes stars of many of its young cast members, including Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson as Harry and Hermione.
Monsters, Inc. has the biggest opening weekend at the box office for any animated film up to this point.
Britney Spears becomes the first female artist to have her first three albums debut at number one with the release of Britney.

SPORTS

Luis Gonzalez singles in the bottom of the ninth of Game 7 off Mariano Rivera to lift the Arizona Diamondbacks over the New York Yankees in the World Series, thus saving us from perhaps the most mawkish sports moment in history. The three games at Yankee Stadium are played under a tattered flag from the World Trade Center. Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson dominate for the Diamondbacks. It’s the first World Series completed in November.
Seattle Mariners OF Ichiro Suzuki becomes only the second player to win both the Rookie of the Year and MVP awards, ushering in a new wave of Asian stars to the major leagues.

December

NEWS

The Taliban government in Afghanistan collapses under pressure from Western military forces. A few weeks later Hamid Karzai is sworn as President of an Afghan democracy.
Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden releases a video tape in which he brags about the September 11 attacks.
Enron files for bankruptcy, destroying the 401(k) plans of most of its workers. Many of the executives later go to jail as it becomes clear just how ridiculous their behavior was. To this point this is the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.
A flight from Paris to Miami is diverted to Boston after Richard Reed attempts to ignite explosives hidden in his shoe. This is why I still have to take off my shoes prior to getting on a plane.
New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is picked as Time Magazine’s man of the year.
The U.S. indicts Zacarias Moussaoui, the so-called “20^th hijacker” in connection with the September 11 attacks.
Islamist terrorists attack the Parliament of India, killing 12 and precipitating an international crisis. Many are convinced war between India and Pakistan is inevitable.
President Bush announces that the U.S. is withdrawing from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty.

ARTS

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is released in movie theaters, first of a blockbuster trilogy of three-hour epics from director Peter Jackson that, through some miracle, are as good as the books they are based on.
The ridiculously star-heavy remake Ocean’s Eleven is a surprisingly fun box office hit.

SPORTS

Nebraska QB Eric Crouch wins the Heisman Trophy. He ends up playing Safety in the NFL.

A Decade in Review: 2000

2009-12-20T23:02:00.005-05:00

At first I was going to do a very extensive list of my favorite movies of the 2000s, but eventually I decided it would be more rewarding to go back over the decade as a whole. It's easy to forget how much has changed and how much hasn't. Time has called this "The Decade from Hell", but for me it's the formative years of my life. When it started I was 15 and now I'm 25. When it started stocks were reaching record highs, America was the sole international super-power, and boy bands were all the rage. I should point out that this was partly inspired by a vaguely similar feature going on over at Deadspin, though theirs is obviously much more sports-centric. Anyway, without further ado...

2000

NEWS

The world does not explode due to Y2K. Celebrations around the world for the Millennium go off without a hitch, except for those naysayers who insist it’s not REALLY the millennium.
America Online reaches a deal to buy Time Warner, forming AOL-Time Warner. This works out well for everyone.
The “Dot Com Bubble” reaches its peak. This is the heyday of the Pets.com puppet.
Meanwhile, Wall Street closes early due to Rage Against the Machine. There’s a story there, but I think I’ll just leave it at that.
The last known Pyrenean Ibex is found dead, having apparently been killed by a falling tree.
Dr. Harold Shipman is found guilty of murdering 15 of his patients.

SPORTS

The St. Louis Rams defeat the Tennessee Titans 23-16 in Super Bowl XXXIV, after Titans WR Kevin Dyson is tackled at the one yard line with no time left. This is still my favorite Super Bowl of all time.
The Oklahoma Sooners win the NCAA football championship.
-Dan Marino plays in his final game, a 62-7 loss to Jacksonville. He never wins a championship.
Brazilian soccer club Corinthians wins the first World Club Cup. Someday this will matter.

February

NEWS

The race for the Republican presidential nomination heats up. John McCain upsets in New Hampshire but loses to George W. Bush in South Carolina amidst allegations of dirty tricks by the Bush campaign.
Tarja Halonen is elected the first female President of Finland.
Torrential rains in Africa leads to mass flooding in Mozambique, killing 800 people.

ARTS

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers is published.
Charles Schulz dies, and the final original “Peanuts” comic strip is published soon after. It still can be seen in re-runs in newspapers everywhere ten years later.
Santana wins 8 Grammys in one night, tying Michael Jackson’s record. Christina Aguilera wins Best New Artist.

SPORTS

Superstar Ravens LB Ray Lewis is arrested outside the Super Bowl and charged with murder. He is eventually acquitted.
The Mariners trade Ken Griffey Jr. to the Cincinnati Reds.

March

NEWS

Vladimir Putin is elected President of Russia.
The NASDAQ collapses. The DotCom boom is officially over. The NASDAQ has yet to get close to these levels again.
George Bush and Al Gore continue to emerge victorious in various primaries and caucuses in the presidential race.
Pope John Paul II makes the first official visit by a Catholic pontiff to Israel.
Nupedia, the predecessor to Wikipedia, is launched.

ARTS

American Beauty is the big winner at the Academy Awards, taking home Best Picture, Director, and Actor for Kevin Spacey.
Budweiser starts running the “Whassup?” commercials. I’m sorry for reminding you.

April

NEWS

The entire Elian Gonzalez drama occurs in Miami. He is eventually repatriated after a predawn raid. The entire business turns parts of the South Florida Hispanic community againt the current administration, which would prove crucial in the upcoming elections.
The state of Vermont legalizes same sex marriage.
Japanese Prime Minister Keizo Obuchi suffers a stroke and dies soon after.
Microsoft is ruled to have violated US anti-trust laws, though not that much really ends up changing.
Richard Baumhammers goes on a 2 hour racially-motivated shooting spree in Pittsburgh, killing 5.

ARTS

Metallica sues Napster, quickly followed by Dr. Dre and Madonna. It’s the beginning of the end for the free music service.
*NSYNC’s album No Strings Attached sells 2.4 million copies in its first week, more than doubling the previous record.
The film version of American Psycho, starring Christian Bale, is released.

SPORTS

Michigan State wins the NCAA basketball championship behind Mateen Cleaves. This is the last time to date that I successfully pick the winner in my tournament bracket.
The NBA approves the sale of the Dallas Mavericks to Mark Cuban.

May

NEWS

Israel withdraws its forces from southern Lebanon after 22 years.
The ILOVEYOU virus, originating in the Philippines, spreads quickly throughout the computers of gullible e-mail users everywhere.
The one billionth resident of India is born.
Boo.com, a joint British-Swedish venture attempting to sell branded clothes on the internet, collapses after burning through $160 million in six months.

ARTS

Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP is released and becomes a spectacular success. Rap is never quite the same, for better or worse.
Ridley Scott’s Gladiator is released in theaters, single-handedly bringing back the sword-and-sandals epic and setting trends for movie scores that are still going on.
Britney Spears’ Oops, I Did It Again is released.
Party of Five and Beverly Hills 90210 go off the air.
The Tate Modern Gallery opens in London.
Lars Von Trier’s quasi-musical Dancer in the Dark, starring Bjork, wins the Palm D’Or at Cannes.

SPORTS

Real Madrid wins their eighth European club soccer championship.

June

NEWS

Scientists announce that they have what is essentially a rough draft of a fully-mapped human genome.
Photos reveal that there is real water on Mars.
“Section 28”, a law prohibiting the promotion of homosexuality, is repealed by the Scottish Parliament.

ARTS

9 die at a Pearl Jam concert in Denmark due to overcrowding.
“405 the Movie” becomes the first short film to be widely distributed on the internet.
Bon Jovi releases Crush, their first album in over 5 years. It is wildly successful.

SPORTS

The Kobe Bryant/Shaquille O’Neal edition of the Los Angeles Lakers wins the NBA championship.
The New Jersey Devils win the Stanley Cup four games to two over the Dallas Stars.
Steve Young retires from the NFL.

July

NEWS

The Republican Party holds its National Convention in Philadelphia, nominating Texas Governor George W. Bush for President and former Bush Defense Secretary Dick Cheney for Vice President.
Vicente Fox is elected President of Mexico, ending a rather ridiculous 71 years of rule by the PRI party.
A leaking petroleum pipeline in Nigeria explodes, killing 250 locals who were scavenging gasoline.
The Concorde explodes on take-off from Charles de Gaulle Airport, ending the halcyon days of the transatlantic supersonic service. 109 people are killed, with four additional fatalities on the ground as the plane’s remains crash into a nearby hotel.

ARTS

The first X-Men film, starring Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, and Patrick Stewart, among others, is released and becomes a huge success, ushering in the Decade of the Comic Book Movie. The first Scary Movie comes out one week before.

SPORTS

France wins the European Soccer Championships, held jointly in Belgium and the Netherlands. They become the first team to hold the European and World championships simultaneously.
Pete Sampras wins his record 13^th Grand Slam title. No one cares because he’s boring. (I’m only sort of kidding about this)
ABC announces it’s hiring Dennis Miller as an announcer for Monday Night Football.

August

NEWS

The Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles nominates Vice President Al Gore and Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut for President and Vice President, respectively. In the future most alternate histories of this decade will probably center around these two.
A Russian submarine sinks in the Barents Sea, resulting in the deaths of all 118 on board.

ARTS

Dora the Explorer debuts. I find her too demanding.
Richard Hatch, perhaps best described as a gay con-man nudist, wins the first season of Survivor. The era of Reality TV is upon us.
Kirsten Dunst stars in Bring It On, probably the greatest cheerleading movie ever made, for whatever that’s worth.
Alec Guinness dies.
Vernor Vinge is awarded the Hugo for A Deepness in the Sky.

SPORTS

Tiger Woods becomes the first golfer since 1953 to win three majors in one year with his victor at the PGA Championship.

September

NEWS

Tuvalu joins the United Nations.
Microsoft releases Windows ME.
The Global Millennium Summit is held at the United Nations in New York City.

ARTS

Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous is released. More than one person later describes it to me as “maybe the most perfect movie ever made.”
Madonna’s Music is her first number one album since Like a Prayer. It makes the people come together.

SPORTS

The Summer Olympics are held in Sydney, Australia. Ian Thorpe and Cathy Freeman star for the home country. Marion Jones dominates women’s running events, though many years later her medals will be stripped. The United States tops the medals table.
Indiana fires Bob Knight as their Men’s Basketball coach.

October

NEWS

The USS Cole is badly damaged by two suicide bombers while in port at Aden, Yemen, killing 17 soldiers. The bombing is linked to a terror group known as al-Qaeda.
Slobodan Milosevic leaves office as President of Serbia after widespread protests.
October 30 is the most recent day (and for all we know maybe the last day ever) without a human presence in space. The next day a rocket launches from Kazakhstan carrying a crew to the International Space Station.

ARTS

The PlayStation 2 is released, beginning the “Next Generation” of video game consoles.
CSI, Gilmore Girls and Curb Your Enthusiasm debut.
Meet the Parents is number one at the box office.
Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot-Dog Flavored Water breaks records for a rock album debut, though it is not close to *NSYNC numbers.
Rage Against the Machine breaks up when Zak de le Rocha announces he is leaving the band.

SPORTS

The Yankees beat the Mets 4-1 in a “Subway Series”. No one west of the Delaware cares, and the Series gets record-low ratings. The Series is best remembered for Roger Clemens throwing a broken bat at Mike Piazza.

November

NEWS

The US Presidential Election ends in what is for all practical purposes a tie, despite Vice President Gore clearly winning the national popular vote. The campaign comes down to approximately 200 votes in Florida, over which the representative of each campaign battle for a month. The phrase “hanging chad” enters the national vocabulary.
Meanwhile, in Iraq, Saddam Hussein throws out UN weapons inspectors, precipitating an international crisis.
Hillary Clinton is elected to the U.S. Senate from New York, becoming the first First Lady to hold public office.
An Illinois State Senator named Barack Obama loses his run for the U.S. House of Representatives.
Hillary’s husband Bill becomes the first sitting U.S. President to visit Vietnam.
Jean Chretien and the Liberal Party are re-elected in Canada.

ARTS

M. Night Shyamalan’s “Unbreakable” is released, sparking debates among geeks that go on to this day.

December

NEWS

The U.S. Supreme Court rules in Bush v. Gore, stopping the ongoing recounts in Florida. This gives the state and the Presidency to George W. Bush. The die is cast for a lot of the rest of the decade. Somewhere a polar bear cries.
Deadly bombings in Indonesia and the Philippines kill dozens.

ARTS

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is the first Chinese film to crossover to the American box office,
The Smashing Pumpkins play their final concert prior to breaking up in Chicago.
Madonna marries British film director Guy Ritchie in Scotland.
The film O Brother, Where Art Thou is released. Its soundtrack is credited with reviving national interest in traditional bluegrass music.
Adult Swim premieres Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, and Sealab 2021. Stoners and fans of dadaist comedy everywhere rejoice.

SPORTS

The Texas Rangers sign Alex Rodriguez to a ten year, $252 million contract, shattering records.
Pitcher Mike Mussina signs a contract with the New York Yankees. The Baltimore Orioles, among the top teams of the late nineties, have not been competitive since.
Mario Lemieux announces his return to the NHL after a three year retirement.

"Avatar" Review

2009-12-19T21:02:00.002-05:00

If the question about "Avatar" is "is it a game changer?" I think the answer might be yes. The special effects and 3-D technology fully live up to their billing. In the middle of the movie, my eyes started to ache a little; having been trained on movies for my entire life, they had no idea how to react to this. This is something new. After a while, thankfully, I think they got the hang of it. I was also surprised by how well the story worked for me, considering there is not a single moment of it that is not completely predictable. If Cameron were just a little bit better writer, "Avatar" could be an all-time great movie. As it is, it is a very good movie, and when you put the spectacle on top of that, it's a seismic event.

The 3-D is never used just for its own sake. Nobody paddles a ball in our face. At some points in tight-shot indoor scenes, there is a little of that sense of objects occupying a series of flat planes that is what you usually get in modern 3-D. However, when the camera is allowed free range out in the forests of Pandora, we get a complete sense of depth, a sense very similar to what we'd get from watching something in person. I don't see how one could improve this short of putting me in a VR suit. I think the reason my eyes had trouble adjusting was that in most films, the movie does the work of focusing for your eyes... some parts of the screen are in focus and some are not, so there's no question for your eyes what they should be focusing on. In this immersive 3-D, everything is usually in focus; it's once again our own eyes responsibility to figure out what to focus on. There were several times where action was taking place in many different places on screen and I found my eyes straining to flit from one focal point to another. They were reacting not like they would to a movie, but as if I actually was fighting a battle while riding on a dragon. I think it might just take getting used to.

Cameron's greatest technical achievement may be the Na'Vi, the film's blue aliens (with whom we probably spend the majority of the film). It's not 100% perfect, but the moments where we lose the sense that they're completely physically real are very rare. Cameron has completely solved the biggest bugaboos of motion-capture/animated people, and somehow never once falls into the so-called "uncanny valley". Normally, our brains are very good at realizing when a facsimile of a person is not real, that there's nothing behind those eyes, no soul. This is why "The Polar Express" is so gosh-darn creepy. It is also extremely hard to make them move like real people... when Grendel swings Beowulf around in Zemeckis' film, he seems to lose substance and moves like a rag doll. The Na'Vi play completely as real sentient beings, both in how the move and in that feeling that there are real people behind their eyes. If this can be done for non-astronomical sums of money and in shorter time frames, the applications are mind-boggling.

The story is pretty simple. Future human colonists are mining the beautiful moon of Pandora, where the atmosphere is toxic, the wild-life is proliferate and deadly, and the natives are fierce. In order to move freely and gain the native's trust, the colonists have their "avatar" program... bodies grown with both human and Na'Vi DNA. "Drivers" get into a CAT-scan type machine and can essentially download their consciousness into an Avatar body.

One of these drivers is Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), who is in a wheel-chair in normal life but not when he's an Avatar. To make a long story short, he begins the gain the trust of the tribe (who realize he is not like them but do not seem to fully understand what this means. They call him a "dreamwalker"), and is given the task of getting them to move from their home in the giant "Home Tree", which sits on a huge mineral deposit. However, he begins to realize he may be at more at home among the Na'Vi, and falls in love with Neytiri (Zoe Saldana, who plays the female lead in the year's two biggest and best SF films). In the end, Jake must lead the Na'Vi in a final battle with the human invaders.

The rest of the review is going to contain SPOILERS, so don't go further if you care.

This story has been compared to "Dances With Wolves", but I think it transcends its influences because its fantastic setting lends itself to a sense of greater universality. It is not about the Europeans genocide of the Native Americans. It's about all native peoples and their relationship to more advanced invaders, in a larger sense. When the over-the-top military colonel villain played by Stephen Lang orders the Home Tree felled, there is a sense as it crashes to the forest below that somehow all of man's inhumanity towards the Earth and its environment is concentrated into this one pointless act. It almost made me sick to my stomach, but in a good way. In a way that means I'm really caring about the story, and that it's having an effect on me.

The film has more than one weakness, however, and the biggest is that its story is very straight-forward. It goes exactly how you think it's going to. Pretty much every element that's introduced is eventually paid off. Though some of the characters have genuine arcs, nobody ever reacts to anything in a way that surprises you. Sigourney Weaver plays a character who seems interesting on the surface, a chain-smoking scientist who wears a Stanford T-shirt even when she's an Avatar. But the way Weaver plays her (and I'm not sure it's her fault), she completely lacks layers. She's a blue, smoking Jane Goodall. The Colonel, meanwhile, is such a mustache-twirling villain that he might completely sink the movie if he had a touch more screen-time. As things are, he mostly disappears for the film's middle third, and really seems to only exist to be a physical antagonist. Giovanni Ribisi does a wonderful job as the slick company exec in charge of the mining operation, a role I would not have pegged him for. We get a tangible sense as the film continues that he knows he's gone too far, that something inside him knows he is not the hero of this piece, but he continues because he does not see any other options open to him. That had to be hard to portray.

One might rail against the way the film, like so many these days, descends into a long action sequence for the home stretch. The climax is a violent struggle starring people who constantly insist that they're fighting for peace. However, Cameron is so good at this that it's almost refreshing. Michael Bay is an easy target, but he's not the sole offender. So many modern action sequences lose their impact because they fail to make sense visually. There is no sense of what is where. Cameron knows how to show us the action so that we can tell what it is gong on: it is awe-inspiring enough without desperate cutting to increase "energy". This film must have a much longer average shot length than your average modern action blockbuster.

There has been some talk that the film wears its political aspirations on its sleeve, and I suppose this is not untrue. For me this helped to add reality to this world, that it had similar problems to those I experience. We learn in the first ten minutes that Jake's spinal condition is treatable in this future, but that he is not rich enough to afford the operation. (he even says "not in this economy") And the Colonel is fond of Bushisms, like "we'll fight terror with terror" and "shock and awe", and the soldiers in a hostile environment dealing badly with natives who don't want them there raises obvious parallels to Iraq and Afghanistan. Beyond all this, of course, is the environmentalism. Here Cameron cheats a little: the metaphors "tree-huggers" use, about everything being connected and about Gaia having a soul, are all made literal on Pandora. Everything on the planet is connected by a sort of living fiberoptic network, making for a kind of world mind. Cutting down trees on Pandora really is murder. So the film's Pandora environmentalism, in the end, is sort of a writ-large metaphor for our Earth environmentalism rather than a straight parallel, and I think it may be difficult for some to make that distinction.

This is already longer than I meant to make it and I think I'll stop here. I do want to answer a question someone asked Roger Ebert in his last mailbag, asking whether the film was appropriate for children. He said there was "nothing objectionable", but that it might be too scary for younger kids. I think it is probably worth mentioning that Na'Vi ladies do not usually wear shirts, though perhaps blue boobs don't count. (Neytiri spends much of the movie wearing some rather strategically-placed necklaces) There's also a (rather tasteful) 3-D alien sex scene. And "Avatar" may have the highest S-word count of any PG-13 movie I've ever seen. (I could swear when I was a kid you couldn't swear at all in PG-13 movies) All that said, I sat directly in front of a rambunctious group of younger kids. They drove me nuts all through the previews, commenting and laughing about every tiny thing. But once the movie started, they were dead silent throughout. I'm pretty sure it worked for them. It definitely worked for me.

The Best TV Lines of '09

2009-12-09T22:42:00.004-05:00

I ran across a twitter meme with the title above today, to which all my favorite critics contributed their own picks. Later in the day it got hijacked by Chuck fans a bit, but it's still definitely worth checking out. It seems a little early, as Glee proved tonight. But it's a worthy endeavor, and here are some of my favorites. Those who say there's nothing on TV right now are silly curmudgeons. Spoiler warning, I suppose, though everything here's out of context.

Community

"Sorry, I was raised on TV. I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over forty was a mentor of some kind."

"I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're really like Michael Douglas in any of his films."

"I'm not having a conversation with someone who emerged from a bush."
"Because I'm right?"
"No, because I'm not in a commercial for breakfast cereal."

"I'm saying you're a football player, its in your blood"
"That's racist."
"Your soul?"
"That's racist"
"Your eyes?"
"That's gay."
"That's homophobic."
"That's black."
"That's racist!"
"Damn!"

"Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching."
"That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode."

"My knowledge is going to bite your face off!"

"If I stay, there can be no party. I must be out there in the night, staying vigilant. Wherever a party needs to be saved, I'm there. Wherever there are masks, wherever there's tomfoolery and joy, I'm there. But sometimes I'm not cause I'm out in the night, staying vigilant. Watching. Lurking. Running. Jumping. Hurtling. Sleeping. No, I can't sleep. You sleep. I'm awake. I don't sleep. I don't blink. Am I bird? No. I'm a bat. I am Batman. Or am I? Yes, I am Batman. Happy Halloween."

"Attention everyone! If you have sex tonight, do not use a condom. I repeat, do not use a condom."

Doctor Who
(which had exactly two episodes this year thus far)

"State your name, rank, and intention!"
"The Doctor. Doctor. Fun."

Dollhouse

"You have to admit, I am very British. I don't say hard Rs."

"Carrots! Medicinal carrots! Personal use medicinal carrots that were here when I moved in and I'm holding it for a friend!"

"Right. New, superior people. With a little German thrown in. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Did I miss anything?
"Just the vodka, thank god."

"Imagine John Cassavetes in The Fury as a hot chick."
"Which you know I often have!"

"Given that you're a raping scumbag one tick shy of a murderer, I can't recall, do you take sugar?"

Glee

"He's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows."

"This is Ohio. If I have a pregnant girl doing a handspring into a double layout, the judges aren't going to be admiring her impeccable form, they're going to be wondering if the centrifugal force is going to make the baby's head start crowning."

"It was a message from God: Rachel was a hot Jew and the good lord wanted me to get into her pants."

"I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one."

"I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me."

"I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'"

"'Who's Josh Groban?' KILL YOURSELF!"

"That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair."

"You think this is hard? Try waterboarding. That's hard!"

"I will go the animal shelter and get you a kitty-kat. I will make you fall in love with that kitty-kat. Then some dark cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face."

Lost

"Time travel's a bitch."

(I've always felt like things that feel like really good lines on "Lost" wouldn't be notable on other shows. That doesn't make it a bad show, just... weird.)

Modern Family

"I got Luke a video game, but it's about math. So, I guess we're that kind of uncles."

"We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't."

"I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me."

"Ahhh we have been together for, guh, five-- five years now? And uh we-- we just decided that we really wanted to have a baby. So we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate but--"
"Then we figured, they're already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant?"

The Office

"The fire is shooting at us!"

"Stanley! You can't die, Stanley! Stanley, you are black! Barack is President, Stanley!"

"I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me."

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"The KGB."
"The KGB who?"
"WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!"

"Jim is my enemy, but it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So actually, Jim is my enemy. But—"

Parks & Recreation

"If I had to have a stripper name, it would be Equality."

"It's like taking peyote and sneezing slowly for six hours."

"I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food."

"I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone in the future to come back and destroy all happiness."

South Park

"The Disney purity ring venture will most likely now prove a marketing bust, as Mickey returns to Valhalla to slumber and feed."

30 Rock

"FEMA paid for these flowers... because this show is going to be a disaster!"

"My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico."

"It's about as useless as the Winter Olympics ... This February on NBC."

"And no making fun of me for using outdated pop culture references. Are we cowabunga on this?"

"A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory."

"I want to welcome you to Season Four ... the restaurant where you can get the very best food in the rest of America!"

"She went crazy. She bit off my nutsack, that I kept tied around my belt to feed the squirrels."

"Do you need a sex tape released? 'Cause I got a weird one; it's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me."

"You know how you told Tracy not to go into your bedroom? Well, naturally, we assumed you were a serial killer, and as you can imagine, your bird is dead."

"What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay! "

"I really don't think it's fair for me to be on a jury since I'm a hologram."

Torchwood
(which had a total of five episodes in 2009)

"If she's anti-terrorist, I would not mind being Uncle Terrorist."

True Blood

"It's like if a tree falls in the woods it's still a tree, ain't it?"

"All this alpha-male posturing. Why don't the two of you just f*** each other and get it over with? I could watch."

"Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible... or the Constitution."

"Did you know your boyfriend hit me over the head with a 52 inch plasma television earlier tonight? Everyone says they're so thin and light, but let me tell you, when wielded properly, they're quite a weapon."

"On the final day of reckoning we'll see who goes to heaven and who goes to hell."
"I reckon I've already been to heaven... it was inside your wife."

"If God always punishes sinners, explain Europe to me!"

"SMITE ME, MOTHERF***ER!"

"What are you?
"I'm a waitress. What the f*** are you?"

The Venture Brothers

"How can you say that about Hitler? I love Hitler, and Hitler loves me! He's not so bad - Hitler just need someone to believe in him! Can't you just give Hitler a chance?"

"Torrid's a d**k. Who does that? Who opens up Hell? Honestly?"

"Score?"
"85%."
"Get out! Where did I blow it?"
"Well, for one, you killed Matthew Lasko."
"That was... well, he was wearing punctuation on his suit. That's a total bad-guy suit!"
"He helps people get free money from the government. That is a good guy. It's reflected in your score."

"Next thing I know, I'm blowing lines of voodoo powder off the back of a monkey's paw I bought in Calcutta. Now I'm all out of wishes."

"And here we are. Alone. What would the neighbors think?"
"The neighbors are AuntiMatter, who's a spinster who shape shifts, and Flying Squid, he's pretty self-explanatory. So I don't think they'd find this weird."

"Alright, we're going to have to do this commando style."
"You want me to... take off my underwear?"

"I can cross "stab Hitler to death" off my list of cool crap I thought I'd never get to do."

"Au contraire, I am Tony Danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano. I am full on Charles In Charge of you."

TV & Movie Reviews Omnibus

2009-11-21T00:00:00.004-05:00

I've been wanting to write about a lot of things here lately but haven't gotten around to it. So I'm going to keep things brief and discuss a couple recent films I've seen and then even briefer as I discuss various new-ish TV developments.

Three Kings is my defining film of the first Gulf War, capturing the tragedies, the triumphs, and the absurdities that characterized it. The Hurt Locker will probably be the defining film of the second, longer Iraq War. In a lot of ways (but certainly not all) it's a descent into despair, following a memorable character, Jeremy Renner's Sgt. James, who is only at home when he's risking his life. The film is essentially a series of long set pieces, following the various missions of a three man bomb squad in Iraq circa 2004. This is a world where any local could be an Insurgent, and often is. Director Kathryn Bigelow (this a rare movie directed by a woman that almost entirely concerns male characters) understands suspense, that it's not about action but about the threat of action, and some of these sequences are completely masterful. My only caveat is that the shaky-cam takes over a little too much, and I had to look away a few times just to keep from getting a headache. Note to film-makers: no good movie is improved by making it impossible to watch what's happening on screen. There's no longer any artistry in the shaky-cam. I'm not really sure there ever was. Please stop it.

I recently had a chance to watch Away We Go, which I really wanted to like. I liked Garden State and still haven't apologized for it. But I really couldn't, for the simple reason that I found pretty much every character involved grating, with the possible exception of the couple in Montreal. I get that some of them (Maggie Gyllenhaal) are supposed to be. Thing is, I'm not sure what the point of this movie is. I don't need to be spoon-fed a story, but if your movie's about ideas there need to be some ideas. This movie simply observes the existence of a bunch of caricatures and seems to think that by the end it's arrived at some truth that it never reveals.

To really commit blasphemy, I had a better time watching Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, third film in the rather ridiculous Underworld franchise. It features Michael Sheen (he of The Queen and Frost/Nixon), who somehow works as an action star. We also get Bill Nighy and Rhona Mitra, among others, and they all know what movie they're in. It's all shot through a blue filter, vampires and werewolves fight their ancient war, the art direction is ridiculously over-the-top, and it's all played oh-so-deadly-serious. It made me smile.

Okay, TV shows. This is probably the best year for comedies that I've seen. The debate on the interwebs seems to be about which of the two great new shows is better, ABC's Modern Family or NBC's Community, with the corollary of whether the winner is better than some more established shows like The Office or 30 Rock. I'm not sure why it matters, they're both really funny, funny for the right reasons, reasons that come out of the characters. Modern Family is essentially The Office set at home amidst a functional (but just barely) extended suburban family. Community is more like a somewhat more humanistic 30 Rock, set among the quirky characters of a study group at a community college. Both have been uneven at times, but have started to find themselves more and more. Meanwhile, Parks & Recreation has greatly increased in quality in its second year, and many critics will tell you it's the best comedy on TV right now. I haven't quite fallen in love with it the same way as the four shows I mentioned above, mostly because I think it has fewer laugh-out-loud moments. But it is still a lot of fun to watch, and very well done.

SyFy Channel's Stargate: Universe is a strange beast, and it's caused some spectacular fights on internet forums. It is not like anything I've seen, not the previous Stargate incarnations, and not Battlestar Galactica, which it was often compared to initially. It moves at its own pace much of the time, almost floating around the corridors of its vast ship the way the camera balls do on the show. My view is that it started off flailing, not really sure what it wanted to be, but has found itself the past few weeks as an ensemble drama with several interesting, though all flawed to say the least, characters. Thus far, the more I've learned about all of these people, the more I've been interested in them. However, the show has waited too long to do some of this and I think lost a lot of people. Last week's episode, "Time", was a particular bold stroke. I wanted to watch that show rather than the one I saw the first few weeks.

V is not really worth it, I think, and is at the point where it needs to earn my continued viewership. Unfortunately, next week's will be the last episode for a few months, so we'll see where we are after that. This has all taken some work, because it's an alien invasion show with a spectacular cast. This is a show with three different "would watch them read the phone book" actors for me in Elizabeth Mitchell, Morena Baccarin, and Alan Tudyk. But it sometimes feels like one big anti-Obama Tea Partier fantasy, and spends most of the rest of its time just foundering in a lack of imagination. This is a show that seems to fail to realize that the entire point of an alien invasion story is THE ALIENS. Morena Baccarin's alien leader Anna's the best thing about the show, but we don't spend nearly enough time with her. I did like the third episode better than the first two, so maybe there's some hope.

You know what else is back? The Legend of the Seeker. I reviewed it a year ago when it first started and was sort of dismissive of it. However, unlike a lot of shows, I never questioned whether I should keep watching it. It's found itself over time, while growing more and more complex and involved in its mythology. This is a show based on Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth books, which are sort of okay at the beginning and apparently later descend into objectivist crazytown. I have a feeling the show is much better than the books. We follow a band of heroes riding majestically across New Zealand fantasyland, casting magic spells and sword fighting dark lords. This is High Fantasy, the only High Fantasy on TV right now, and it's actually done pretty well. The second season premiere, currently on Hulu, places our heroes in various morally ambiguous situations caused by their victory at the end of last year, and sets the stage for what looks like it could be a big improvement in the show. And it doesn't hurt that we get what looks like will just be the beginning of a continuing larger dose of the fetishtastic order of hot chick torturers, the Mord'Sith, probably the most infamous aspect of the show. There's even a completely random Charisma Carpenter guest starring role. Basically, this is the closest any of us will ever get to a Lord of the Rings TV show, and we should enjoy it.

And finally, I wanted to mention the latest Doctor Who episode, "The Waters of Mars", which serves as show's return from a several month hiatus and the beginning of David Tennant's final arc in the title role. Gosh, I love this show. I watch TV, in the end, to be entertained, and Doctor Who likes to push all my buttons. This particular episode was pretty interesting, taking the Doctor to emotional places that were completely new and yet felt totally earned. That said, about twenty minutes in I thought I was going to write something about how none of this was working as well as anyone involved seemed to think it was, except for a few good lines for the Doctor. Then things got really epic all of a sudden, and I had to pause the video and hop around the room I was so excited. I could do a spoileriffic deep analysis, but I don't really feel like it right now.

That's all I got in me tonight. I'll do a books one like this in a couple days when I finish my current read. See y'all.

Identity, the Internet, and the Dollar Movies

2009-10-25T01:55:00.001-04:00

It seems that a couple of strong themes have run through most of the TV, books, and movies I’ve consumed this fall, and I think they’re related to some of our current societal anxieties, as is usually the case.

One is identity, and how it relates to society at large. How do we define ourselves in a world where we know better than ever that all we are is DNA and firing synapses? It would seem that we’re more able to let others know who we are than ever, but at the same time there’s this fear that we have no control, that someone else is pulling our strings. Maybe this is part of the fear that the Glenn Becks and Michelle Bachmanns of the world tap into, that we have no control over our lives. And to an extent it’s true: never before has every detail of our lives been visible to our bosses, our government, and our enemies in the way it is now. This is the price we pay to make the world traversable in an instant, to have friends and business partners on other continents, to live in a world where anyone can be instantly famous.

Which brings us to another theme, that of our relationship to the media and the internet. Something is reaching critical mass, I think, and we’re now quite literally in Andy Warhol’s future, at least in America and Europe and a few other places. At the same time, we’re seeing objectivity disappear in our news media, replaced by opinion. This may not be a good thing, but what I think this environment of blogs and Fox News has given us is one huge conversation, a huge town hall meeting about everything all the time, rather than speeches by talking heads at set times. What does that mean? And is fame, more easily attainable for the average joe than any previous time in our history, one of the only ways to make your voice count more than someone else’s? And what is the price for that?

This is all brought on by a handful of stories, some of which are spectularly good and some of which are pretty awful. I’ll write about some more of the books I’ve been reading another time. As for TV, there are a large number of shows on right now, but I think the one that makes me think the most is “Dollhouse”. The show is not going to last beyond its current 13 episode Second Season, but that is fine, and it is worth enjoying while it is here. The show, which I’ve reviewed here before, had the best episode of its season so far this past week, focusing on Dichen Lachmann’s character, Sierra.

The episode, and to a certain extent the show itself, is about rape, and what it does to us on a personal and societal level. There is a scene near the beginning where the man we met in “Needs” who put Sierra in the Dollhouse prepositions her. She refuses and tries to leave. He physically prevents her. The entire party (which is mostly made up of Dolls) stands around and does nothing. The Dollhouse is (metaphorically) about how society inexorably “programs” us to take on certain roles… in a way are we all responsible when things like this happen? Of course, there’s more to the episode than this, it’s full of spectacular performances and feels like a step forward for the show’s mythology. io9 has a detailed review here: http://io9.com/5389040/rape-is-one-tick-short-of-armageddon-on-dollhouse

At the dollar movies, where movies usually appear not long before they go to DVD (a window which closes a little further every few months), I saw two SF movies this week. The first was “District 9”, which gives itself a sense of reality by appearing at least part of the time to be some sort of documentary. The story is about a group of aliens (refugees?) that appear above Johannesburg, and are settled in a camp known as District 9. Those familiar with South Africa will notice strong parallels with apartheid and the more recent influx of refugees to the country from Africa’s more impoverished areas, which has led to some violence. The film is cast almost entirely with local South Afircan actors, with unknown Sharlto Copley cast in the lead role, a petty bureaucrat who gets involved in events beyond his control.

The film’s biggest strength is Copley’s character, Wikus van der Merwe, who, as one “talking head” notes, “took the choices available to him.” He’s not really a good guy by choice. When we see the aliens, they’re a lot like people, subject to depravity, violence, and pointless addictions. There are good aliens, but they seem to be few and far between… the implication is that we are the same way. The film observes all this dispassionately, helped by the documentary format. Except it seems to really want us to hate Nigerians, for some reason.

The issue of identity comes up because (POSSIBLE SPOILER) van der Merwe finds himself infected with an alien “fluid” that is gradually changing his own DNA from human to alien. He finds himself fitting in nowhere, both a pariah and incredibly valuable in the view of the both “sides”. (END SPOILER) The media is omnipresent throughout the film, as it seems to me it now is in most people’s lives.

The movie is extremely well made, with the CGI aliens completely photorealistic with distinct personalities despite a budget of “only” $30 million (the film made this back and then some on its first weekend). The “documentary” style is used to serve the story rather than distracting with overly swirly shots. However, the film’s villains (especially the Nigerians) can be a little too over the top at times. Also, the third act turns into one long action sequence, which is not really what I was looking for from such an intelligent film.

Tonight’s film was “Gamer”, a fitting cap to a week where the two really memorable stories for me were “The Hunger Games” and “Dollhouse”, as the film strongly contains elements of both without managing to be nearly as good as either one. In the near future, the big popular media phenomenon is games where people control other real people. A weird southern guy played by Michael C. Hall (chewing large bites of scenery throughout) invented “Society”, which is essentially “Second Life” if your avatar was a real person. As Hall’s character, Castle, notes, people pay both to be controlled and to control, though it seems that at least some of the “I-Cons” are there because they’re desperate and they’re getting paid. Now Castle has invented “Slayers”, in which gamers control death-row inmates in pitched “battles”… a FPS with real deaths. These battles are incredibly popular just to watch, and the top gamers make millions.

And that’s pretty much it. The movie is from the writer/director team that gave us “Crank”, and it has the same feel of gratuitous sex and violence being presented in a way that shouts “Look how gratuitous this is!” I enjoyed “Crank” because it was so ridiculous and completely unexpected. “Gamer” has more there there, so to speak, but not that much, and while here the boobs and blood seem to actually have a further message behind them, the movie is still an exploitative violent media offering of nearly the same kind it is critiquing.

The action sequences are presented with the camera shaking crazily, completely preventing us from having any sense of the geography of any of the action sequences. Perhaps fortunately, this took away some of the effect of the violence for me. The movie feels like an extension of this, presenting its concept so frenetically we are prevented from caring or even being impressed. There are, however, two sequences I will remember for a long time. One is the opening minute or so, in which we get a sense of this future world, with “Slayers” advertisements writ large across skyscrapers, even on the Great Pyramid, all set to Marilyn Manson’s cover of “Sweet Dreams”. (“Some of them want to use you/Some of them want to be used by you.”) The other is the climax, which (SPOILER) includes a completely random musical number just when we’re expecting a big showdown. I’m not sure it was a good idea, or even well executed, but by that point I was very happy that they tried it.(END SPOILER).

Interestingly, both “Dollhouse” and “Gamer” deal with the concept of the powerful literally reprogramming the less powerful, and both of them come to the conclusion that this means the end of everything. Of course, since both take the concept literally, both show it leading to the literal apocalypse, when, at least today, this takes place more in a figurative way, so what these are both really saying is that what this does is rob our lives of their beauty and meaning.

Notes from the Dan Sessions: A New Era Begins

2008-12-14T03:18:00.005-05:00

It's been some time since I've posted, and that's because I've been incredibly busy, and when I haven't been busy I've been exhausted. And when I haven't been exhausted I've been trying to squeeze in as much self-entertainment as possible. But I want to keep this up, and I had the very strange idea to post these. "These" are notes I make, as a track listing as much as anything else, for the mix CDs I like to make. Most people listen to their MP3s on their headphones, but I'm perfectly happy with my portable CD player and an album of my own devisement. I call these CDs "The Dan Sessions", and each ends up with a pretentious subtitle. Think of these as a strange chronicle of my life in song, or as simply music recommendations. And I don't have to come up with them, because they're already written!

A New Era Begins

This disc was made during a period of change in my life that ended a sort of bout with despondency, which was also a period in which I didn't make any mixes. It immediately became a staple of long bus rides and quick-paced walks down wide, empty, condo-lined streets.

1. Saliva – “Ladies and Gentlemen”
And the “New Era” begins with a song that’s one three-and-a-half minute proclamation of forthcoming awesomeness. It’s silly and ludicrous in its brashness (“Your ears and your eyes may be bleeding”), but it rocks and somehow it makes it believes that whatever’s coming will deliver on the anticipation. Saliva isn’t anybody’s favorite band; usually they produce generic rockers, but this time they went with their instincts and delivered a genuine pick-me-up that uses phrases like “explosion of catastrophe.”
2. Fujiya & Miyagi – “Collarbone”
Every once in a while we meet something genuinely different, and it’s love at first sight. Or listen. What is this? Alternative Rock? A strange cousin of rap? Low groove jazz? A children’s rhyme? Who the heck are these guys? Their names sound Japanese. There’s a weird moment in the middle where he rolls the heck out of an “r”. There are sections whispered over bass and claps, mixed with pseudo-beat boxing. And then atonal guitar craziness. What really matters is that the first time I heard it I knew it was something special, and this ended up as one of the most-played tracks on my dearly departed radio show. Try walking down the street to this one.
3. Foo Fighters – “The Pretender”
The Foo Fighters, more than almost any band today, are capable of creating albums full of mainstream rock hits while still appealing to those who like to think of themselves as having discerning ears. This song rocks hard, but it also has a soul. “What if I say I will never surrender?” Was well onto my playlist before it showed up over the first “Dollhouse” trailer, which of course it was perfect for.
4. Vampire Weekend – “Oxford Comma”
I recently read someone, not really in a derisive way, proclaim Vampire Weekend “the Whitest Band in the World.” And yes, their biggest hit to date is about commas… sort of, anyway. It’s also about butlers and chap-stick. This is a song that seems laid-back and angry at the same time, barely contained behind the vaguely calypso rhythm. “Why would you lie about something dumb like that?” Another song that introduced me to something genuinely new.
5. PJ Harvey – “Down By the Water”
What the heck is this song even about? It’s like a low growl, wretched and lonely. It gets under your skin like an itch. PJ Harvey can do that. And it ends with a stretch nobody who hears it ever forgets, that whispered chant: “Little Fish/Big Fish/Swimming in the water/Come back here and give me my daughter.” There are strings here, guitar, drums, but they all seem under Harvey’s hypnotic spell, barely alive. A work of amazing power.
6. Matchbox Twenty – “How Far We’ve Come”
Rob Thomas is one of the greatest songwriters living. Yes, Matchbox Twenty has become so mainstream they get played on easy listening, but that’s hardly their fault, and this is a candidate for best song of the year. It’s been used in every trailer, ad, montage you can think of, but that’s because it the kind of song that genuinely works on myriad levels. It’s driving, it’s urgent, and it delivers its intended feeling with surgical precision: This is the end of this, and that is worth being sad about, but the ride delivered, and we should be dancing.
7. Flobots – “Handlebars”
I heard this song one day on the radio and it was probably the highlight of that week. It’s a song about the sin of pride, and not just that it’s a sin but why it’s a sin. It dramatizes the loss of innocence. This is a song that explains Hitler from Hitler’s perspective. That’s a lot to ask of a short piece of music, but somehow it manages it. Some people will hear it and say “there’s rapping on the radio,” as my mom always likes to. They’ll be missing something transcendant.
8. Sea Wolf – “You’re a Wolf”
For a relatively low-key song, this is one that sure gets stuck in my head a lot. There are about five lines in the whole song, but between the song manages between the quietly insistent guitar and the loping cello to keep itself feeling fresh. It pulls you in, like the semi-mystic encounter with a gypsy woman that its lyrics seem to describe. An indie gem.
9. Cold War Kids – “Hospital Beds”
This is a weird song. Cold War Kids are high-pitched and sparse, and the piano bits seem more to twinkle than play an actual tune. Much of the song seems like a sort of chant, a plea for help, but other times a strange joy seeps in. Somehow it feels to me like something out of World War I, with scenes from Atonement, though that would seem contradictory because it possesses the DNA of alternative rock, and makes no particular effort to be retro. It brings us into something so well that we’re almost startled when we’re let out of it five minutes later.
10. A Fine Frenzy – “Almost Lover”
There is no song that can bring me to the edge of tears so easily. It is almost ridiculous, how emotional this song can make me despite having no particular event in my life to tie it to. There are production pieces shimmering occasionally in the background, but it’s essentially just the singer’s voice and her fingers on the piano keys. I love sometimes just to feel; it brings me out of my life and into a place of startling beauty and sharpness. This song, especially in the startling crescendo of a bridge, does that as well as anything I’ve run across.
11. Scissors for Lefty – “Ghetto Ways”
Strategically placed to bring us out of the previous song’s mood, we have a weird, nearly incomprehensible piece of dance music. It’s like listening to a party through the wall. The chorus seems to just be a strange sort of heavy breathing… but it’s infinitely relistenable. It’s minor key enough not be jarring, but it’s still reminiscent of The Killers… after they dropped acid.
12. Rufus Wainwright – “Going to a Town”
A song written and performed with anger, sadness, and longing by an openly gay artist, this is an extremely slow build of piano rock that makes us really feel the repeated line “I’m so tired of America.” When I first heard this song, Obama was barely a blip on the radar screen, and it seemed like we were living in the last days of Rome, overrun with prejudice and malaise. Even before Wainwright starts singing about “bathing the body of Jesus Christ in blood,” he’s captured that feeling better than any other artist I’ve heard.
13. The Swell Season – “Falling Slowly”
This is a sweet little tune that somehow becomes, over the course of its length, about nothing less than everything. Male and female voices swoop over plaintive strings, lamenting how little time we have. It was from the soundtrack for the film Once, but it became much bigger than the little-seen movie it came from, and ended up winning an Oscar and putting its indie-darling creators squarely on the mainstream map. Glen Hansard makes us believe he’s falling in love and it’s making him cry, without irony and with total conviction.
14. Gomez – “How We Operate”
I discovered this song about a week before it went mainstream, largely due to an appearance on “Grey’s Anatomy”. Its main instrument is a banjo, at least for the opening minute or so, and the voice is almost country, but this is unmistakably a rock song. A rock song not quite like any other rock song. It’s like a night drive in the desert, gradually gaining momentum, adding layers, while something truly meaningful twinkles just out of reach. There are ghosts here, and sweeping strings.
15. Maximo Park – “Books from Boxes”
Maximo Park is one of those ice-cold bands with a low, melodic voice, like Longwave or Idlewild, and like most of those that are successful they somehow manage to be catchy, at least on this track. This didn’t make my collection for any special reason other than that I think it’s really good, and don’t seem to tire of it. In the first verse we hear “We can beat the sun as long as we keep moving.” And I for one believe it.
16. The Wombats – “Let’s Dance to Joy Division”
First of all, there’s a band named The Wombats. Second of all, someone wrote an entire song about listening to “Love Will Tear Us Apart” with an ironic ear. It’s peppy and fast, the single punkiest song on this disc. It made my regular playlist, and then somewhere in there it took on several more layers. This is my song about making the best of it in today’s economy. “It can all go so wrong, and we’re so happy.” It ends in laughter.
17. Fleet Foxes – “White Winter Hymnal”
This is the unlikeliest of indie hits. Time recently named it the third best song of 2008, and called it “choral roundelay.” It feels like the Beach Boys through a glass darkly, and it’s very very pretty. In only a few minutes, we’re once again in another world, this one snowbound and quiet. For all that, there’s a surprising amount of rock here, and I would hardly characterize this as a “slow song.”
18. IAMX – “President”
I never heard of IAMX before this song, but I have to seek out more of them. Like “Going to a Town”, this is a minor-key epic of piano rock. But unlike that tune, this one is post-Obama, and comes off more as an insistent proclamation of hope, a march to victory for the little guy. In a year where I found myself vaulted into politics, this song feels like where I’ve been and where my twisted dreams are going. With a circus-organ thump thrown in for good measure. It ends like a foreboding of the future.

MemeWatch: The Twilight Backlash

2008-11-22T19:07:00.005-05:00

Ah yes, the backlash. The movement-ized rejection of something that has already achieved great cultural popularity. The backlash as a phenomenon predates the internet... I'm sure there were plenty of people who thought that "Gone With the Wind" wasn't, y'know, that great, but the instantaneous, interactive nature of it has allowed backlashes to gain a much higher level of notoriety. If a huge cultural phenomenon isn't quite up to snuff these days, a backlash is all but inevitable. (the wikipedia article on "backlash" can be found here)

The new film "Twilight" had a better first day on Friday than either "Quantum of Solace" or the most recent Indiana Jones film. It's less than all but one of the Harry Potter movies, and not even close to what "The Dark Knight" did earlier this year, but it's still far and away the most successful opening for a movie directed by a woman (Catherine Hardwicke). For those who have been either living under a rock or in a completely teenage girl-free evironment, "Twilight" is the first in an incredibly popular series of books by Stephenie Meyer that center around the passionate-but-chaste romance of a high school everygirl, Bella Swan, and a particularly hunky vampire, Edward Cullen, mostly set in a small town in Washington state. The thing about "Twilight" that has struck me the most is that the backlash was in full swing before the "frontlash" was even really up to speed. This backlash has the most lash I've ever seen. Okay, I'll stop that now.

I'll be honest here. I haven't read any of the Twilight books, and I almost certainly won't see the movie until it shows up the discount theater, if at all. I know more than one person whose opinion I trust who absolutely loves them. But the critical consensus seems to be one of understanding-at-best (There seem to be two types of reviews, ones that talk about how it might appeal to teen girls and ignore the actual quality and those that are critical of the actual quality), and the internet... well, the internet does not seem to be willing to tolerate it.

A big part of this, I think, is that the Twilight fandom (my favorite term I've seen so far is "Twi-hards") is almost entirely female. It consists of teen girls, from tweens to college age, along with a decent sampling of their moms, the sort who like romance novels. I like to fancy myself a bit of a geek anthropologist, so to speak. I enjoy the inner workings of various fandoms, even for works I myself am not that into. And this is perhaps the most monolithic major geek fandom I've ever seen. Even "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Xena: Warrior Princess", probably the two most female skewing of the major geek fandoms I've previously looked at, had fairly large male bases, as well. This shows it's not just the female protagonist that's at issue, it's the content. "Xena" was an action show at heart, and "Buffy" was at such a high level of quality that it attracted connoisseurs of all types... plus there was karate and stuff. "Twilight" is a romance, through and through.

Also at issue is how good it really is. Twilight is often compared to the Harry Potter novels, another fandom based on a YA book series that seems to have at least slightly more girls than guys. But general consensus seems to be that the Twilight series isn't even in the same league ("USA Today" was roundly mocked for making the suggestion this week). I've never been afraid to criticize JK Rowling's prose, and "Deathly Hollows" drags way too much for what it is, but Rowling does have an intuitive grasp of how to build excitement and when things are happening in the Potter novels, there's nothing like it. As the backlashers are quick to point out, Meyer's prose has at least as many issues, her content has a strong potential to be laughable, and the plot of "Twilight" doesn't really get going until at least 300 pages into the book (It apparently takes over 200 for Bella just to realize that Edward is a vampire). The Harry Potter books and films have, for the most part, manages to avoid a full-fledged backlash despite their gargatuan popularity because most people who read them are hooked.

Let's take a look at other recent phenomena:
-"Star Wars" eventually created its own backlash with the terrible "prequel" movies. I had a friend who at one point was a hardcore Star Wars guy, but mostly dropped it circa "Attack of the Clones" when he "found out that Jar-Jar Binks created the Empire." Many universes grow richer with continued exploration... Star Wars, not so much. The Spider-Man film series probably also fits this model, as it was riding high after the first two films and nearly completely destroyed its own fandom with the failure of the climactic third film.
-"Star Trek" did get richer with continued exploration, but eventually seemed to run its course. The times, it seemed, had passed the mostly-utopian future it depicted by. Plus there was a lot of mismanagement by Paramount... "Enterprise" would sputter on for a few more strange seasons, but the "Trek" franchise as we knew it seemed to end when "Nemesis" opened opposite a Harry Potter film and tanked. People didn't hate "Trek", they just weren't huge fans. But now the new trailer for the JJ Abrams "Star Trek" film has gotten startling buzz, and it's like the franchise never went away.
-"Lord of the Rings" has its detractors, but the books, and especially the films are so seminal and high-quality that there doesn't seem to have been much of a backlash, at least not within the fandom community.
-"Buffy" and "Battlestar Galactica" are probably representative a group of works that were never quite popular enough to create a backlash, but attracted a strong, loyal following due to their high quality. Both have large numbers of online fans who insist that they should be considered for the best TV series of all time... period, and are very influential within the current "geek" community. But they remain relatively lesser known in the world-at-large, and that seems to have helped.
-"Firefly"'s hardcore fans created their own backlash, not the work itself. It would probably be in the above group, except for the fact that an early cancellation created a strong evangelical streak in the fandom. This got them "Serenity", as well as several comic book miniseries, but it also resulted in everyone else on the internet getting really annoyed.
-"The Dark Knight" is probably the biggest geek phenomenon of this year so far, even more so than "Twilight". At first it appeared it might be among that elite that is so good it's just impossible to hate. But as people thought about it more, and it became even more widely seen, it began to be criticized for its relentless gloom. It's a great movie, but the staying power is in question. It recently showed up at our local discount theater, and I haven't gone to see it again yet, and I'm not sure I will until it shows up on DVD.
-"Pirates of the Caribbean" was totally unexpected, and was driven, yes, by young women. Guys liked pirates in the same way they like ninjas and zombies and all those things, but it was hard for them to participate in a fandom where the main debate was immediately whether Depp or Bloom was cuter. Then the second two movies had interesting bits but were overlong and all over the place, and the fandom did not appear to withstand the backlash. Comparable might be "Transformers", which came out of nowhere with a movie (by Michael Bay!) that was really hard not to like. And, Megan Fox and all, it seems to be more male-skewing. But it has the strong potential to have that luster taken off by subsequent sequels, we'll see.

These, of course, are only some of the geek-related examples recently ("Doctor Who" may have so far miraculously managed to be the most backlash-free of all). There have of course been many other kinds of backlashes, but this is where I like to think my "area of expertise" lies. ;) So "Twilight" has the disadvantage of being a female-oriented fandom based on material that already seems to be showing cracks. io9 has been nice enough to round-up some of the most blatant and hilarious examples of recent online "Twilight"-bashing here. Whatever side you're on, this should be good for a laugh. It certainly cracked me up.

Planet Earth Round-Up

2008-11-22T08:17:00.003-05:00

In all the fuss about the US election, it's easy to forget that there's a whole big world out there, with its own issues, and it doesn't stop having them because "change has come to America." Here's an round-up of what's going on all around this wonderful planet of ours:

-The crisis in Zimbabwe continues to drag on. This week a planned mission to highlight the humanitarian problems in that country from Jimmy Carter, Kofi Annan, and Graca Machel (wife of Nelson Mandela) was cancelled because the Mugabe government didn't want them showing up. The stated reason? They would boost Morgan Tsvangirai's opposition party. When saving your starving citizens is considered a partisan act for the other side, you know you're in trouble.

-Protests and violence continue in Bangkok as the citizens demand the ouster of the ruling People Power Party (PPP), which, although democratically elected, the protesters claim is a front for corrupt former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra. One Prime Minister was removed for appearing as a paid guest on a cooking show (apparently a big no-no under Thai law), but the PPP replaced him with Shinawatra's brother-in-law. Now the protesters are being attacked by a series of grenades, which have injured many. Sone appear to have been launched from the Bangkok Police Headquarters, which protesters say proves they come from the government. The situation appears to be escalating at this time.

-In somewhat lighter news, the top Islamic body in Malaysia, the National Fatwa Council, ruled that Muslims should not practice yoga because it contains elements of other religions and could "corrupt" Muslims. This comes after another recent ban on "tomboys." You know, considering Malaysia isn't quite a first-world nation by most standards, you'd think they would have other things to worry about. On the other hand, at least women can drive in Malaysia, unlike, say, Saudi Arabia.

-It appears that, for now, both sides in the civil war (another one?) in the Democratic Republic of the Congo have agreed that Virunga National Park, the oldest national park in Africa and a UNESCO World Heritage Site, should be neutral ground. Park rangers returned this week after previously fleeing the fighting. Virunga is home to a closely-studied group of 200 Mountain Gorillas. It is estimated that there are about 700 Mountain Gorillas left in the world.

-al-Qaeda may be the cool new terrorists, but other terrorist groups are still around after many decades. ETA, the Basque separatist group, is back in the news after the arrest of Mikel Garikoltz Aspiazu (Basque is the one European language not related to any other known language). Aspiazu is suspected to be the current head of ETA, and is charged with masterminding a series of attacks that have killed over a hundred people, mostly close to the Basque homeland in Northwestern Spain. Concerns for the security of the court proceedings were so great that the identity of the judge is being kept secret.

-Some Persian Gulf states might ask "Global financial crisis? What global financial crisis?" The Palm Jumeirah, a man-made palm-shaped island off Dubai, opened this week to a huge star-studded party, as well as a $20 million fireworks show. The island features resort hotels, luxury homes, expensive shopping, and entertainment. The island apparently doubles Dubai's total shoreline. Among those seen at the opening party? Robert de Niro, Janet Jackson, the Duchess of York, Charlize Theron, Kylie Minogue, Lindsay Lohan, and, the key to any gathering, one of the Olsen twins.

Shady's Back

2008-11-20T12:38:00.002-05:00

Due to the rigors of my job, we’ve been a little behind here on the Walrus File, but I don’t want that to continue. So… some thoughts.

-Early Obama cabinet appointments/rumors have been extremely interesting. Eric Holder would be the first African-American Attorney General. Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State? Or maybe John Kerry? Will Gates stay on at Defense (which I think would be a bad idea, but I was never a big fan of the “bipartisanship” craze.)? Tom Daschle, the former Senate Minority Leader from South Dakota, appears to be in line for Secretary of Health and Human Services. And today comes word that the top choice for Secretary of Homeland Security is the current Governor of Arizona, Janet Napolitano. Many have criticized this group as too full of “Clintonistas” and not symbolic enough of the whole “Change” meme. There’s still plenty of time left for that, but I tend to agree at least from a trend-watching point of view.

-Pirates are the new terrorists, which is pretty funny from a certain point of view. First an arms shipment from the Ukraine, and now a Saudi oil tanker with a cargo worth at least a hundred million dollars, have been making front page headlines after pirate hijackings off the lawless coast of Somalia. Pirates are on the verge of becoming the New Missing White Women in our news media. And really, can you blame CNN for spending so much time on the pirate story when everything else is just sort of dank. The Columbus Dispatch’s front page headline today was about “A Cornucopia of Gloom.” I think the copy editors were getting bored. Meanwhile, al-Qaeda is releasing bizarre videos where they talk about how Obama and Colin Powell are “house negroes”. I guess it’s still the 1920s in the mountains of Pakistan. Also, we learn al-Qaeda are big fans of Malcolm X. Who knew?

-Forget gay marriage, bailouts appear to be the real slippery slope. Give one to AIG, now everybody and his brother wants one. Some may need them… others I’m not so sure about. How to choose?

-On the plus side, Thanksgiving is coming up. Our local Giant Eagle is well stocked with giant forty dollar turkeys. Is anyone out there headed home for the holiday? And if so, where are you going, and how are you getting there?

-It’s Ohio State/Michigan week! The greatest rivalry on the gorram planet, if we do say so ourselves. The Buckeyes are the massive favorites, but they always say that you can throw out the records when these teams play. I had the opportunity this week to meet Art Schlichter, the last OSU QB to start the big game as a freshman. He’s an interesting guy. This Saturday Terrelle Pryor will be the next. The game will be here in Columbus, and will result in widespread insanity no matter the outcome.

-COTA (the Central Ohio Transit Authority, aka the local bus system I ride everywhere) is moving its offices downtown. According to the “Dispatch”, there will be no easy available parking for employees, which is on purpose. The director says that he now wants all employees, including himself, to ride the bus to work. I’m sure that’s going over well.

I Am Evolving Even As I Write This

2008-11-13T05:55:00.002-05:00

The thing about evolution is that it's not obvious, no matter what the Richard Dawkinses of the world may think. Only a few animals have a complete fossil record of growth and change. More often, it seems as if species have flourished out of relative obscurity and then died out. Evolution as a process must take place relatively quickly, which doesn't make sense if we follow the original Darwinian theory. If evolution were a random process, based merely on "survival of the fittest," it would be extremely slow. The reason, I think, that Darwin retains so many staunch defenders is a) that he was mostly right, and b) that the alternative of the moment is, for all intents and purposes, biblical literalism, which won't wash with anyone with a vaguely scientific mind.

So what's the solution? For a long time, scientists have been proposing something called "punctuated equilibrium", which involves many changes taking place rapidly due to a sudden change in enviroment. However, this strikes me as mostly a case of verbal gymnastics, as it doesn't explain how species would be able to adapt quickly rather than just, you know, die. But yesterday news out of Princeton shed new light on the matter for me, and I'm sure many others as well.

Researchers were studying the electron transport chain in cells (this is the system that regulates energy use), and discovered that the chains were able to correct any artificial mutations imposed on them. They looked at how the chains did this, and found that they were making minute corrections all the time. Basically, organisms naturally make changes at the cellular level in order to better fit their environment, which makes them, hey, one of the fittest who gets to survive.

If this sounds like "intelligent design," that's because it is. But it's intelligent design by our own DNA, rather than some invisible person in the sky. What this really does is provide an explanation for how evolution works, rather than an alternate theory. Some more fascinating details can be found here.

Bits: Monk Fight Edition

2008-11-09T13:21:00.004-05:00

-The British Telegraph newspaper has a fun article that lists 50 things you didn't know about Barack Obama. I actually knew a couple of these. Interestingly, none of the 50 involves him being a terrorist, but he did have a pet monkey at one point and has read every Harry Potter novel, so same difference I suppose.

-By popular demand, more cholera news. There is another, perhaps more serious outbreak taking place right now at a refugee camp in the Congo. As you may now, the Nation Formerly Known as Zaire is in the midst of yet another civil war, and thousands of people are being driven into small areas in these makeshift camps. There's a cease-fire in place right now, but it is apparently unraveling. There are fears that the disease will spread if the cease-fire fails and the refugees are forced to scatter. Complicating matters is a lack of the medication that cure the disease, as well as an organized method of distribution.

-The police had to be called to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, supposedly built on the site where Jesus was born, after monks from two different sects got into a violent brawl. The church has long been run in an uneasy joint arrangement between the Greek Orthodox, Armenian Orthodox, and Coptic churches. In this case the Greeks tried to block a procession by the Armenians, "so that the Armenians could not establish a claim which they do not have." Um... anyway, violence ensued. This is the same place where there has been a ladder outside the entrance since the 19th century because the three sects can't agree on who has the authority to take it down.

-Cracked.com's latest history lesson/list/funny caption collection involves the six stupidest points people died trying to prove.

-The latest thing we're boycotting: Utah, for the Mormon Church's aggressive support of California's gay marriage ban, unique because it took away from people a right that had already been granted. As things we're boycotting go, this one makes more sense than most.

-Today's Free TV on the Internet: The Daily Show/Colbert Report election special. Not as great as it could have been, but still has Stephen Colbert delivering state electoral votes with a parrot perched on his shoulder.

Movie Reviews for People Who Go to the Dollar Movies After Work: Tropic Thunder

2008-11-08T22:32:00.003-05:00

This is the first movie I've reviewed in this series that was actually successful, but that doesn't mean you should pay top dollar for it! Tropic Thunder is a middling Hollywood comedy that gets quite a bit of its appeal from its A-list talent. It's directed by the actor Ben Stiller, and he got a bunch of his friends, including Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, Nick Nolte, Steve Coogan, and yeah, Tom Cruise, who has a ball as the new modern stereotype of a movie mogul, to appear in it, not to mention a myriad of cameos and in-jokes.

The basic premise is that a bunch of actors making a Vietnam movie end up stranded in the jungle. They think the cameras are still rolling (even after their director (Coogan) steps on a land mine and blows up in front of them), and when they stumble across a bunch of heroin traffickers their movie turns into real life. Stiller's character is an over-the-hill action star, making a bid for mainstream credibility. Downey Jr. is an Australian actor, a five-time Oscar winner who doesn't break character when the cameras stop rolling. For this movie he's had surgery to make himself black... Yes, in the era of the Obama presidency, blackface is apparently finally acceptable comedic fodder. Black is a comedian best known for fart-joke movies who spends most of the movie in heroin withdrawal, which we're also now apparently able to play for laughs.

Rather than a lot of huge laughs or really great lines, this movie generally just does everything with a smile on its face. It has several swear words per sentence, but the movie it reminded me of the most might be, weirdly, another Stiller film, Zoolander. But there's nothing here on the level of "How are they supposed to learn to read if they can't even fit inside the building?" There's a lot of little, tonal jokes given to us rapid fire. The audience wasn't nearly as into it as some other comedies I've seen recently, even Get Smart. That said, this probably required a higher level of skill from everyone involved than a silly spy comedy, as a lot of it depends on timing and how swear words are delivered. This may have had a higher percentage of unintelligible dialogue than any other mainstream comedy I've been to, and I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not. Probably not.

There are a lot of good things here, but I'm not sure they ever come together into anything real. Downey Jr. got a lot of the press, and deservedly so. He just goes on these extended, nonsensical riffs, and they're probably the best thing in the movie ("I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!"). Nolte, playing the soldier upon whose story the movie is based, has fun pulling out every military cliche in the book, but becomes less interesting once we learn the real truth about him. Black's character just seems superfluous. It's like he was added to create chaos, but he doesn't create enough chaos to justify his existence.

This review feels disjointed, but this is a disjointed movie. I think it probably got better reviews than it deserved. It has some funny moments, but it has too many swings and misses. If you were smart enough to skip the big movie theater, make this a dollar movie.

Books: Islands in the Sea of Madness

2008-11-07T20:57:00.003-05:00

So, as the election screamed down the rails like Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train, not to mention the economy doing an imitation of the Hindenburg, we were all left with a little excess stress. And if you're like me, one way to deal with all of that is to escape into the world of books. Our loyal readers will know I like Sci-Fi, and the last three books I finished were all on the short list for the Hugos and Nebulas this past year. (The Sci-Fi equivalents of the Oscars/Pulitzers/whatever). Despite theoretically sharing a common genre, it'd be hard to find three books that are more different. I thoroughly enjoyed all of them, and wanted to bring you my recommendations...

The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon

This book is the most recent winner of Sci-Fi's highest annual honor, the Hugo Award for Best Novel. Chabon is one of American literature's brightest young turks, and in this book he's created something so unique that one wonders where he possibly could have gotten his ideas from. The most basic description for it is a noir set in an alternate history, though that doesn't quite do it justice. The story is set in the year 2008, in a district of Alaska specially set aside for Jews. The main language is yiddish, and the capital is the burgeoning metropolis of Sitka, with a population in the millions. Apparently there was an actual historical movement to do just this following the end of World War II, as opposed to, say, the creation of Israel, but it was scuttled by a congressman from Alaska. The novel diverges from our history simply by having said congressman get hit by a car.

Our protagonist is a down-on-his-luck detective, determined to investigate the murder of a heroin addict believed by some orthodox jews to have been a potential messiah despite the impending "reversion" of the District of Sitka to the United States (think of the situation with Hong Kong and China). His world is a cold, rainy place, populated by beautifully sketched characters and conspiracies. The real treat in the novel is Chabon's facility with language, which can make a strange kind of poetry out of descriptions of an old man's coat or a warm doughnut. Great stuff.

Calculating God by Robert J. Sawyer

Unless you count Margaret Atwood, whose occasional forays into the genre have resulted in such classics as The Handmaid's Tale, Robert J. Sawyer is probably Canada's most successful Sci-Fi author. He writes hard science fiction, but general comes at things from an anthropological angle rather than one of physics, which makes him harder to categorize. His most famous work is probably his series that began with Hominids, in which scientists make contact with an alternate universe where Neanderthals became the dominant species of humanity.

Calculating God is obviously the work of the same author, though the storyline and the ideas set out are very different. The book begins, comical in its matter-of-factness, with the landing of an alien spaceship outside the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto. An spider-like alien gets out, enters the museum, and asks if it could see a paleontologist. That paleontologist is the book's main character, and the book consists mostly of his internal debates and conversations with the alien, who is far more interested in scientific research than in meeting our leaders.

The twist is that the aliens, based on their observations of the universe, have come to the conclusion that science has proven the existence of God. Their observations of Earth only confirm this. The scientist is an atheist, and we discover he is dying of cancer. So the debates between the two, mostly regarding the nature of life and universe, take on an unusual, fascinating tone. The alien makes the scientific case for the existence of God, quoting statistics about the variance of constants, while the scientist makes the emotional, faith-based case against the existence of God. If there is a God who created the laws of physics, why would he create cancer? What possible being could morally justify so much suffering?

Despite the occasional bit of jargon, the book is one of the quickest, easiest reads I've come across in a while. It's hard to put my finger on why. It would have been easy for Sawyer to fall into the usual trap of Hard SF, to be distracted by the science at the expense of our own enjoyment of the story, but he avoids this with strong characterization, and a vivid depiction of the warm friendship that builds between the scientist and the alien. This is that rare specimen, alien who, without just being a human with pointy ears, feels like a real "person". The book isn't perfect, and there's a totally unnecessary subplot involving terrorists targeting fossils, but it was one of my favorite random finds in a long time.

Halting State by Charles Stross

Charles Stross is a British writer who has a way of making made-up technojargon sound like good, smooth writing. How he does this I have no idea, but I think it has something to do with strong characterization and not being afraid to make bold stylistic choices. Halting State is a lot of things, but one thing it's not is simple to read. It jumps among a number of characters, all the while being written in the second person, mixing a strong scottish brogue with internet-speak both real and imagined. How do you write in a scottish brogue? Again, I'm not really sure, but Stross definitely manages it. ("You cannae understand why the prize twat isna answering his IM") This is a story set circa 2020, and centering around the world of virtual reality gaming. Probably the main through-line is provided by a detective who is assigned to investigate a seemingly impossible bank robbery with real-world implications carried out in a sort of next-gen "World of Warcraft" by a band of orcs "with a dragon along for fire support." Science Fiction was slow discovering the internet, but between this book and others like last year's tremendous Hugo winner, Rainbow's End by Vernor Vinge, the the web is building up its own field of SF lit. It's about time.

We're Back, Baby

2008-11-07T00:17:00.004-05:00

So... Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States of America. He won somewhere north of 370 electoral votes, including pretty much every swing state with the exception of Missouri. He won in places like Indiana, North Carolina, Virginia, and Colorado. It was an historic moment, one of the greatest I have been a part of in my adult life. People stopped in the street, dancing, singing, and hugging total strangers. I have never seen anything like it. I think it surprised even Obama's biggest supporters, the level of emotional outpouring. It wasn't just history, it was us as a nation standing up and saying, no, this is who we are, we're not going to spiral into oblivion. I have never been prouder to be an American.

Life goes on. Here's a story I haven't seen elsewhere: There has been a major cholera outbreak on the campus of China's Hainan University, and it's resulted in the gradual breakdown of civilization. Though cholera can be treated with a three-day course of treatment and is no longer considered fatal in developing countries, the Chinese government has quarantined the campus. Food is running out, and the military is trying and failing to control the crowds. It's like a dry run for when the big epidemic hits. If the disease doesn't get you, the quarantine will. The media hasn't picked up this story, but one female student on campus has been writing a harrowing blog that is getting some attention on the net. Read about this here.