Planet Earth Round-Up

In all the fuss about the US election, it's easy to forget that there's a whole big world out there, with its own issues, and it doesn't stop having them because "change has come to America." Here's an round-up of what's going on all around this wonderful planet of ours:

-The crisis in Zimbabwe continues to drag on. This week a planned mission to highlight the humanitarian problems in that country from Jimmy Carter, Kofi Annan, and Graca Machel (wife of Nelson Mandela) was cancelled because the Mugabe government didn't want them showing up. The stated reason? They would boost Morgan Tsvangirai's opposition party. When saving your starving citizens is considered a partisan act for the other side, you know you're in trouble.

-Protests and violence continue in Bangkok as the citizens demand the ouster of the ruling People Power Party (PPP), which, although democratically elected, the protesters claim is a front for corrupt former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra. One Prime Minister was removed for appearing as a paid guest on a cooking show (apparently a big no-no under Thai law), but the PPP replaced him with Shinawatra's brother-in-law. Now the protesters are being attacked by a series of grenades, which have injured many. Sone appear to have been launched from the Bangkok Police Headquarters, which protesters say proves they come from the government. The situation appears to be escalating at this time.

-In somewhat lighter news, the top Islamic body in Malaysia, the National Fatwa Council, ruled that Muslims should not practice yoga because it contains elements of other religions and could "corrupt" Muslims. This comes after another recent ban on "tomboys." You know, considering Malaysia isn't quite a first-world nation by most standards, you'd think they would have other things to worry about. On the other hand, at least women can drive in Malaysia, unlike, say, Saudi Arabia.

-It appears that, for now, both sides in the civil war (another one?) in the Democratic Republic of the Congo have agreed that Virunga National Park, the oldest national park in Africa and a UNESCO World Heritage Site, should be neutral ground. Park rangers returned this week after previously fleeing the fighting. Virunga is home to a closely-studied group of 200 Mountain Gorillas. It is estimated that there are about 700 Mountain Gorillas left in the world.

-al-Qaeda may be the cool new terrorists, but other terrorist groups are still around after many decades. ETA, the Basque separatist group, is back in the news after the arrest of Mikel Garikoltz Aspiazu (Basque is the one European language not related to any other known language). Aspiazu is suspected to be the current head of ETA, and is charged with masterminding a series of attacks that have killed over a hundred people, mostly close to the Basque homeland in Northwestern Spain. Concerns for the security of the court proceedings were so great that the identity of the judge is being kept secret.

-Some Persian Gulf states might ask "Global financial crisis? What global financial crisis?" The Palm Jumeirah, a man-made palm-shaped island off Dubai, opened this week to a huge star-studded party, as well as a $20 million fireworks show. The island features resort hotels, luxury homes, expensive shopping, and entertainment. The island apparently doubles Dubai's total shoreline. Among those seen at the opening party? Robert de Niro, Janet Jackson, the Duchess of York, Charlize Theron, Kylie Minogue, Lindsay Lohan, and, the key to any gathering, one of the Olsen twins.

Shady's Back

Due to the rigors of my job, we’ve been a little behind here on the Walrus File, but I don’t want that to continue. So… some thoughts.

-Early Obama cabinet appointments/rumors have been extremely interesting. Eric Holder would be the first African-American Attorney General. Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State? Or maybe John Kerry? Will Gates stay on at Defense (which I think would be a bad idea, but I was never a big fan of the “bipartisanship” craze.)? Tom Daschle, the former Senate Minority Leader from South Dakota, appears to be in line for Secretary of Health and Human Services. And today comes word that the top choice for Secretary of Homeland Security is the current Governor of Arizona, Janet Napolitano. Many have criticized this group as too full of “Clintonistas” and not symbolic enough of the whole “Change” meme. There’s still plenty of time left for that, but I tend to agree at least from a trend-watching point of view.

-Pirates are the new terrorists, which is pretty funny from a certain point of view. First an arms shipment from the Ukraine, and now a Saudi oil tanker with a cargo worth at least a hundred million dollars, have been making front page headlines after pirate hijackings off the lawless coast of Somalia. Pirates are on the verge of becoming the New Missing White Women in our news media. And really, can you blame CNN for spending so much time on the pirate story when everything else is just sort of dank. The Columbus Dispatch’s front page headline today was about “A Cornucopia of Gloom.” I think the copy editors were getting bored. Meanwhile, al-Qaeda is releasing bizarre videos where they talk about how Obama and Colin Powell are “house negroes”. I guess it’s still the 1920s in the mountains of Pakistan. Also, we learn al-Qaeda are big fans of Malcolm X. Who knew?

-Forget gay marriage, bailouts appear to be the real slippery slope. Give one to AIG, now everybody and his brother wants one. Some may need them… others I’m not so sure about. How to choose?

-On the plus side, Thanksgiving is coming up. Our local Giant Eagle is well stocked with giant forty dollar turkeys. Is anyone out there headed home for the holiday? And if so, where are you going, and how are you getting there?

-It’s Ohio State/Michigan week! The greatest rivalry on the gorram planet, if we do say so ourselves. The Buckeyes are the massive favorites, but they always say that you can throw out the records when these teams play. I had the opportunity this week to meet Art Schlichter, the last OSU QB to start the big game as a freshman. He’s an interesting guy. This Saturday Terrelle Pryor will be the next. The game will be here in Columbus, and will result in widespread insanity no matter the outcome.

-COTA (the Central Ohio Transit Authority, aka the local bus system I ride everywhere) is moving its offices downtown. According to the “Dispatch”, there will be no easy available parking for employees, which is on purpose. The director says that he now wants all employees, including himself, to ride the bus to work. I’m sure that’s going over well.